Give Yourself Grace: What the Bible Says About Being Kind to Yourself (2024)

Last Updated: February 1, 2022

What’s the first thought that comes to your mind when you’ve really messed up? Do you talk down to yourself, or do you give yourself grace?

When you forget an important day. When you get negative feedback from your boss. When you snap and say something hurtful to a loved one that you wish you could take back…

Give Yourself Grace: What the Bible Says About Being Kind to Yourself (1)

Is your first thought something like: “I’m so dumb. I can’t do anything right. I really messed up.

Or is it something like: “It’s okay. I’m doing my best. I made a mistake, but I’ll get another chance.”

My guess is that your mind doesn’t automatically jump to the second thought process. Our instinct is usually to beat ourselves up when we’ve done something wrong.

In a world that says, “Hustle. Do more. Become the best version of yourself,” we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to have it all together. This pressure becomes negative self-talk when we make a mistake, but it’s in these moments that we most need to give ourselves grace.

You should give yourself grace because God gives you grace. Let’s take a closer look at what the Bible says about having grace for yourself.

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The Grace We Give Ourselves Is God’s Grace

The Bible tells us how we should treat ourselves because of how God treats us. We can give ourselves grace because God gives us grace, which is kindness and forgiveness that we don’t deserve.

We make mistakes, and we deliberately do things we know are wrong. The Bible calls this sin, and every sin is a sin against God Himself. As our judge, He can rightly punish us for our sin. But instead, through Christ, God chose to offer us forgiveness:

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. ~ Romans 3:23-24 NIV

Why did God decide to give us grace, when He could punish us for everything we do wrong? The answer is because He loves us:

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. ~ Romans 5:8 NIV

Give Yourself Grace: What the Bible Says About Being Kind to Yourself (2)

This grace came at the cost of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, sacrificing His own life for us. We deserved punishment, but He took the punishment for us. Grace is a free gift offered to us by God! We simply have to receive it by believing in what Christ did for us.

For it is by graceyou have been saved,through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God. ~ Ephesians 2:8 NIV

So we know that if we’ve put our faith in Christ, God has already forgiven our sins. He no longer condemns or punishes us for our mistakes or failures, because Christ took our punishment. This is what grace is.

God shows us this grace freely, so giving ourselves grace means agreeing with the grace that God gives us. In the same way that God doesn’t punish us, we shouldn’t punish ourselves.

Experience God’s Grace to Give Yourself Grace

So why do we punish ourselves, if God doesn’t?

Although I grew up in church, I didn’t always understand what grace meant for my daily life. As a preteen, if I went a few days without reading my Bible, I felt guilty because I thought God was angry at me. So I would hang my head in shame and beat myself up before coming back to Him, because I thought that was the only way He would forgive me.

But what I didn’t understand then, and what took me years of my life to really grasp, was this:

Give Yourself Grace: What the Bible Says About Being Kind to Yourself (3)

Therefore, there is now no condemnationfor those who are in Christ Jesus,because through Christ Jesusthe law of the Spirit who gives lifehas set you freefrom the law of sinand death. ~ Romans 8:1-2 NIV

We are in Christ when we put our faith in Him, so now God no longer condemns us. In Christ we are completely forgiven, accepted, loved, and secure.

If we think that God wants us to feel ashamed and punish ourselves when we’ve sinned or made a mistake, we have the wrong idea of God. Thinking like that might be something we’ve learned from human interaction.

We all hurt other people from time to time, and realize what we did was wrong. So we think that maybe if we hang our heads in remorse, the person we hurt will be more inclined to forgive us. It boils down to self-protection, because we’re afraid of the consequences. We punish ourselves first so that the other person will let up.

God Doesn’t Want You To Beat Yourself Up

But my friend, understand this well: God isn’t like us. We don’t need to protect ourselves from Him. Why? Because Jesus Christ was punished in our place.

Give Yourself Grace: What the Bible Says About Being Kind to Yourself (4)

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.We love because he first loved us. ~ 1 John 4:18-19 NIV

I can only imagine what God would say to me in the moments when I felt too ashamed to talk to Him again, not only as a preteen but also to this day. I imagine standing before Him, head turned down because I’m afraid to meet His eyes. And I imagine the Lord gently lifting up my chin so I can’t help but look into His bright, kind eyes. And He speaks:

“My daughter, why are you afraid? I love you, and my love is perfect. You do not need to fear punishment, because you are my beloved child. When I look at you, I see my Son Jesus. He has already washed away your sins. Just come back to me and speak with me. I’m right here.”

Read More: How to Be Aware of God’s Presence

See the kindness of our God? He just wants us to come back to Him, so that we might experience His grace.

Give Yourself Grace: What the Bible Says About Being Kind to Yourself (5)

For the Lordyour God is gracious and compassionate. He will not turn his face from you if you return to him. ~ 2 Chronicles 30:9 NIV

So what thoughts should come to our minds when we’ve really messed up? Not negative self-talk. Not beating ourselves up. Not shame or guilt. But confidence as we approach God to receive mercy and grace:

Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. ~ Hebrews 4:16 NIV

My friend, there is no condemnation. This is the core of the message of God’s grace. Truly understanding this will change your life as it has changed mine.


Welcomed Back With Open Arms

Every time I read the Parable of the Prodigal Son that Jesus tells in Luke 15:11-32, it brings me back to the simplicity of the gospel. It all comes down to the grace and kindness that God, our loving Father, shows to us.

In this story, the prodigal son asks his father to give him his inheritance, and then goes and squanders all of it by living a wild life. With no more money, he works on a farm feeding pigs, and he’s so hungry that he wants to eat what the pigs are eating.

At that moment, the prodigal son comes to his senses and realizes he would be better off even working as a servant in his father’s house! Ashamed of all that he’s done, he prepares what he’ll say to his father:

I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: “Father, I have sinnedagainst heaven and against you.I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.” ~ Luke 15:18-19 NIV

Give Yourself Grace: What the Bible Says About Being Kind to Yourself (6)

We see here that the prodigal son is expecting punishment, and trying to soften the blow by showing his father how ashamed he already is. It’s the same as what we do when we “beat ourselves up”—maybe if we come to God remorseful and apologetic, God will see our sorry state and have compassion on us.

But this completely misses the point of grace. Grace means that God’s compassion is constant, because it’s part of who He is (2 Chr. 30:9). Grace means that there is no condemnation (Rom. 8:1). Grace means that we have no need to fear punishment, because we are perfectly loved (1 John 4:18).

Read More: How God’s Grace Calms Spiritual Anxiety

Come Back to God Expecting Grace

How does the Parable of the Prodigal Son show us how we should come back to God if we’ve sinned?

So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. ~ Luke 15:20 NIV

The Father doesn’t even give the son a chance to speak before running to him and embracing him joyfully! And even when the son apologizes as he planned, the Father doesn’t even acknowledge it:

The son said to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you.I am no longer worthy to be called your son.” But the father said to his servants, “Quick! Bring the best robeand put it on him. Put a ring on his fingerand sandals on his feet.Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate.For this son of mine was dead and is alive again;he was lost and is found.” So they began to celebrate. ~ Luke 15:21-24 NIV

Give Yourself Grace: What the Bible Says About Being Kind to Yourself (7)

Do you see? God’s compassion and grace do not change depending on our regret. He is simply filled with joy when His children come back to Him. When, realizing we have sinned, we do not expect harsh punishment, but rather we’ve learned to expect the joy, love, and kindness of a Father who missed us and wanted us to come back home.

Friend, give yourself grace. Be kind to yourself. Because God’s response to you is always, only grace and kindness.

If you’d like to learn more about God’s grace, I recommend The Prodigal God by Timothy Keller. This book dives into how the Parable of the Prodigal Son reveals the true gospel of grace through faith in Christ, not through moral conformity or through self-discovery. The Prodigal God is a short, devotional-like book that will open your eyes to God’s grace in new ways, and I can’t recommend it highly enough.

I also recommend The Gospel in Ten Words by Paul Ellis for learning more about God’s grace, and Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero for how to relate to yourself in a spiritually healthy way:

Want a simple way to practice showing yourself grace? Use these 30 self-compassion journal prompts to reflect on how to have grace for yourself.

Was this post helpful to you? You’ll also like these articles:

  • God Will Fulfill His Purpose for You: 3 Ways to Trust Him
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  • How to Take a Sabbath and Embrace God’s Gift of Rest

Share in the comments below: What is one way you can give yourself more grace?

Peacefully,
Give Yourself Grace: What the Bible Says About Being Kind to Yourself (14)

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Give Yourself Grace: What the Bible Says About Being Kind to Yourself (2024)

FAQs

What does God say about being kind to yourself? ›

In both the Old and New Testaments (Leviticus 19 and Matthew 19) we are taught to “love your neighbor as yourself.” Implicitly this teaches me that love for self is a given. It is normal and natural for me to care for myself and place value on my concerns and desires. We are created in the image of God.

What does it mean to give grace to yourself? ›

Give yourself grace is permission to forgive your mistakes, lapses in judgment, and hurtful behavior, because no one is perfect. The saying has deep roots in yoga and faith communities, and it frequently shows up online as a hashtag or inspirational quote.

What does God say about giving yourself grace? ›

Ephesians 4:23-24

By applying Grace to yourself, you are not accepting, excusing or justifying your sin, but recognizing that you are a sinner saved by Grace. Through that grace you remember that nothing will separate you from the love of God - NOTHING!

How do you show grace to yourself? ›

5 Ways to Give Yourself the Gift of Grace
  1. Don't be perfect, be real. No one is perfect (repeat after me: no one is perfect). ...
  2. Mess up, but don't let yourself feel bad. ...
  3. Give yourself permission to not do everything. ...
  4. Never feel selfish for taking "you" time. ...
  5. Do one thing a day you're proud of.

What it means to be kind to yourself? ›

Being kind to yourself means being your own cheerleader. When you are consistently kind to yourself, you don't need others to validate your efforts and boost your self-confidence, because you can do those things for yourself.

What does the Bible say about caring about yourself? ›

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.

What does it mean to give yourself? ›

idiom. formal. : to use one's time and effort to help others. He gave of himself to help the community grow and prosper.

Why is giving grace important? ›

When we show grace to others, it's about showing kindness to someone else even when they don't deserve it. Grace is going out of our way to give your compassion, kindness and love to someone even if they might not appreciate it, or return the favour.

How do we give grace? ›

Giving grace to another person is simply to forgive them, unconditionally, just as God forgave us through Christ. "Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you" (Colossians 3:13, NIV).

What does it mean to have grace in your heart? ›

Firstly, grace means forgiveness. Grace is an incredible gift that we receive when we repent of our sins and accept Jesus as our Savior. Without this gift of forgiveness, we would be lost forever.

How do you deal with yourself with grace? ›

The next time things don't go your way, take these 5 steps to help you gracefully forge your way forward.
  1. Know Your Ideal Version. Many of us scramble for control when life catches us off guard. ...
  2. Shorten Your Recovery Time. ...
  3. Maintain Positive Habits. ...
  4. Look for the Growth. ...
  5. Embody Grace.

How do I fully accept God's grace? ›

The Bible gives an easy, three-word answer for how you receive the grace of God: by trusting Christ. The Bible says in John 1:17, “For the law was given through Moses, but God's unfailing love and faithfulness came through Jesus Christ” (NLT). God's grace is entirely wrapped up in a person: Jesus.

Why is being kind to yourself so important? ›

Self-compassion is inextricably linked with the concept of cultivating a growth mindset. If you can treat yourself with kindness and understanding, you're more likely to forgive yourself as part of learning and evolving to become your best self. With forgiveness comes motivation to avoid replicating prior mistakes.

How can I make myself more kind? ›

How to be more kind: 10 ways
  1. Tell someone when you think positively them. It's easy to think well wishes, but it takes a little more effort to communicate them. ...
  2. Consider your language choices. ...
  3. Set a good example. ...
  4. Volunteer yourself. ...
  5. Listen more. ...
  6. Look after yourself. ...
  7. Be aware of others around you. ...
  8. Lend your belongings.
Feb 12, 2020

How can I be kind to myself examples? ›

Tips for Being Kinder to Yourself
  1. Show up for your difficult feelings. Sitting alone with your thoughts is difficult and can feel unnatural. ...
  2. Do things you like. ...
  3. Center on what you value. ...
  4. Ground yourself. ...
  5. Savor your physical senses. ...
  6. Hug yourself. ...
  7. Notice what you are grateful for.
Aug 25, 2021

Why is caring about yourself important? ›

Engaging in a self-care routine has been clinically proven to reduce or eliminate anxiety and depression, reduce stress, improve concentration, minimize frustration and anger, increase happiness, improve energy, and more.

What does God say about taking care of yourself first? ›

Above all else, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life,” (The Bible, Proverbs 4:23). This scripture is stating that ABOVE ALL ELSE, we must guard ourselves. We must guard, nourish, and care for our heart because it matters to Him.

What does God say about helping yourself? ›

Christian Scripture

Colossians 3:23 – Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men. Matthew 5:3–4 – God blesses those who realize their need for him; and who mourn will be comforted.

How do you give yourself grace quotes? ›

Quotes About Grace and Strength

The heart of a warrior beats with grace and perseverance. Grace gives you the strength you need to overcome any obstacle. It takes strength to root yourself in grace. Your soul is afire with strength, and your heart is filled with grace.

What is God's gift of grace? ›

The Gift of Grace is Given to Us

The gift of grace has been given to us by God so that we may give it to others, even if we do not think they deserve it. Jesus was sent to the cross and died to save us from our sin when he did not deserve this suffering. However, he did this through the gift of sacrificial love.

How does God give us grace to live? ›

God's grace, as divinely offered gift, does not take away or restrict our freedom; rather, it perfects our freedom by helping us overcome the restricting power of sin, the true obstacle to our freedom. We call the grace of the Holy Spirit that we receive through faith in Jesus Christ the New Law.

What happens when you give of yourself? ›

Because when you give too much of yourself away to others, you often surrender more than just your time — you surrender yourself. And this act can leave you broken, empty, and exhausted. It can cost you your identity and happiness, and it can do more harm than good to your most important relationships.

What is the best thing to give yourself? ›

The 25 Best Gifts You Could Give Yourself
  1. Rest. You can do anything but not everything. ...
  2. Love. Let others in and allow yourself to be loved. ...
  3. Uncertainty. The only guarantee in life is that there are no guarantees. ...
  4. A meaningful career. ...
  5. Therapy. ...
  6. Confidence. ...
  7. Good health. ...
  8. A positive attitude.
Feb 11, 2015

What is another word for give of yourself? ›

Selfless is the opposite of selfish. If you're selfless, you think less about your self, and more about others — you're generous and kind. Being selfless is similar to being altruistic — another word for giving to others without looking for personal gain.

What power does grace give us? ›

The Bible Dictionary puts it this way: “The main idea of the word [grace] is divine means of help or strength. … Grace is an enabling power” (“Grace”). It enables the recipient to do and to be what he or she cannot do and cannot be if left to his or her own means.

Who does God gives grace to? ›

Yes, all of you be submissive to one another, and be clothed with humility, for 'God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble. ' Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time” (1 Peter 5:5-6).

What is the lesson of grace? ›

The Lesson of GRACE: Your accomplishments are NOT what make you a worthy human being. You learn this lesson when someone shows you GRACE: good things you didn't earn or deserve, but you're getting them anyway. I have to learn this lesson over and over again. You can have worthiness apart from your performance.

How do you present yourself before God? ›

(Matthew 7:14; Luke 13:24; 2 Thessalonians 1:8-10) We are to present ourselves to God as those who have taught His Word with a zealous nature to protect and defend it. Our zeal is for pleasing God, not men. We strive to hear this from the Lord: “Well done, good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:23).

How can I put God first in my life? ›

3 Ways to Put God First
  1. Seek God's kingdom over your own interests. “But first, be concerned about his kingdom and what has his approval. ...
  2. Live to please Jesus. Matthew 6:24 says “No one can serve two masters. ...
  3. Listen to the Word instead of the world. “Don't become like the people of this world.
Oct 21, 2022

How do you pray to God for yourself? ›

4 Things to Pray for Regarding Yourself
  1. “Lead me not into temptation, deliver me from evil.” ...
  2. “Search and know my heart, lead me in the way everlasting.” ...
  3. “Fill me with your spirit, and make me wise.” ...
  4. “Hear me, and show me your glory.”
Feb 19, 2021

What are the 3 types of grace? ›

It specifies three types of grace: prevenient grace, which is God's active presence in people's lives before they even sense the divine at work in their lives; justifying grace, through which all sins are forgiven by God; and sanctifying grace, which allows people to grow in their ability to live like Jesus.

What is the true meaning of grace? ›

grace, in Christian theology, the spontaneous, unmerited gift of the divine favour in the salvation of sinners, and the divine influence operating in individuals for their regeneration and sanctification.

What are the five stages of grace? ›

Stages of Grace Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance... When facing death, a mourning period is to be expected.

Is God's grace enough in your life? ›

Reflections: God's grace is sufficient

Sufficient, as is “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” That was what God said to Paul after Paul asked Him three times to remove his thorn in the flesh.

How did Jesus show grace? ›

In the New Testament it talks about the grace that Jesus showed through when he would always perform miracles and have mercy on those who are in need. God showed grace by performing many miracles and also by healing those who are sick and crippled because that was the will of the Lord.

What are the 3 work of grace? ›

The authority, the power, and the wisdom of God enable us to enter the purpose of God, which is the third work or area of grace. The third work of grace is the creation, through Christ, of a living house for God in which He can rest for eternity.

What are the 4 types of graces? ›

John Wesley and the Wesleyan Traditions speak of four types of grace: prevenient, justifying, sanctifying, and glorifying.

What are signs of grace? ›

Signs of Grace You Are Forgiven

Signs of Grace: You Are Forgiven prepares children to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation for the first time by revealing that God is indeed “rich in mercy.”

How do you carry yourself with grace and poise? ›

Basic Tips to Develop Poise
  1. Dress Your Best. Dress your best to always give yourself confidence that you already look great. ...
  2. Study the Way that You Walk. ...
  3. Some Elegant Posture Tools. ...
  4. Exercise For Poise and Posture. ...
  5. Keep Your Arms To Your Sides. ...
  6. Never Ever Rush Or Be In A Hurry. ...
  7. Be Gentle. ...
  8. Smile Much, Laugh Softly.
Mar 27, 2016

How do you accept God in your personal life? ›

How to Accept Christ
  1. Admit that God has not been first place in your life and ask Him to forgive your sins. ...
  2. Believe that Jesus died to pay for your sins and that He rose again on Easter, and it alive today. ...
  3. Accept God's free gift of salvation.

How do you strengthen grace? ›

The grace that is in Jesus strengthens us because it is how we were saved in the first place (Ephesians 2:8-9)! It is our salvation. God supplied us faith in the beginning, so we can trust that he will strengthen our faith as we continue to share in suffering as good soldiers of Christ.

How do you accept Jesus as your? ›

We need to turn away from our sins, believe that Jesus is God's Son and our Savior, and submit to Him as Lord of our lives. By doing so, we receive salvation and eternal life.

What does the Bible say about your kind? ›

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” These Bible verses are the perfect source of inspiration to remind you how important it is to be kind to others.

What does God say about trusting yourself? ›

Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered.” The Good News: It is not enough to just trust yourself — you need to have trust in those around you, as well. “The works of his hands are faithful and just; all his precepts are trustworthy.”

Does God want us to like ourselves? ›

God Wants You to Love Yourself, Too

God does not want us to go through our lives filled with hate, disappointment, or insecurities about ourselves. God has created us perfectly in His image. In this day and age, it is difficult not to compare ourselves to others or the idea of what we should look like.

Does God want us to enjoy ourselves? ›

The truth is, God wants you to enjoy your life every day. Did you know that? If you didn't, or maybe you just aren't sure whether God approves of people enjoying their lives, take a look at John 10:10.

Why is being kind important to God? ›

Kindness in the Bible

It's the ultimate expression of your love for God. It's how we tell Him that we are choosing Him in as much as He chose us. Proverbs 11:17 also tells us that a man who is kind benefits himself, but a cruel man hurts himself. Indeed, kindness not only makes others happy.

What does kindness mean to God? ›

It means being steadfast in love toward another person, even as God has loved us with a steadfast love that never fails. It means being faithful to another—trustworthy and loyal. Kindness is gentle and loving, even when there are times in our lives that tempt us to be harsh and hard.

How do you show kindness in the Bible? ›

Love everyone, including your enemies. Luke 6:35. We're told to always do good for others without expecting anything in return. Remember to be kind to everyone you come in contact with throughout the day, even if they're rude to you.

How do you trust yourself spiritually? ›

Ask Deepak: How to Trust Your Spirituality
  1. Pay attention to each incident. Look at it. ...
  2. Give significance to your experiences. This means changing your allegiance to a new way of perceiving yourself. ...
  3. Value this new way of being in the world. You are the silent, unchanging witness in the midst of constant change.
Jan 27, 2010

What happens when you stop trusting yourself? ›

Not trusting yourself can take a toll on your physical and mental health. According to Dr. Romanoff, these are some of the negative effects you may experience: Mental health conditions: People who struggle with trusting themselves tend to experience elevated levels of anxiety, depression, and guilt.

What keeps us from trusting God? ›

Another reason we can struggle to trust God is that we have limited understanding. We see so little when it comes to human history. It is hard for us to know how suffering fits in with God's good plan. We are taught to believe that God's plan is good and right, but it's difficult to see that when things are difficult.

How do you love yourself in a godly way? ›

If you feel incapable of celebrating your own worth, you can learn to love yourself by truly understanding the way God loves you.
  1. See your true value. ...
  2. Learn to let go of past mistakes. ...
  3. Recognize that trials are not punishments.
Jan 4, 2019

What does the Bible say about putting yourself first? ›

Jesus realized that it is important to take care of ourselves—even in the midst of taking care of everyone else. It's OK to go off and be by ourselves to pray, to refresh ourselves, to recharge our energy, taking strength from the Lord (Psalm 28:7; Philippians 4:13).

What kind of life does God want for us? ›

It's God's desire that we live according to the righteousness He's bestowed on us through faith in Jesus Christ. In Him, we are made new, “created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness” (Eph. 4:24) through the gift of the Holy Spirit. Once we were slaves to sin, but now we are not.

What is the most important thing God wants from us? ›

He wants to fill us with the same eternal, life-giving love that He and the Father share, a love from “before the foundation of the world” that will endure long after this world is gone (John 17:24; Ephesians 1:4; 1 Peter 1:20).

What does the Bible say about making yourself happy? ›

Psalm 37:3-4

Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. This verse not only commands us to trust the Lord, but reminds us that finding delight in the Lord will also result in positive things coming your way!

How to live each day for God? ›

Following God's Plan for Your Life:
  1. Be in prayer. A way to know that you are following God's plan for your life is by being in prayer. ...
  2. Be actively reading in the Word. ...
  3. Follow the commands He puts on your heart. ...
  4. Seek a godly community. ...
  5. Obey the Truth.
Mar 29, 2019

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