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Knowing who to send thank you notes to and who can go without after a funeral can be confusing. For example, should you send thank you notes for funeral flowers? Should you send a thank you note to someone who made a long journey to attend the funeral? Funeral thank you etiquette isn’t black and white and it’s a good idea to follow some general guidelines, but to go with your gut if you feel like someone deserves a thank you note.
Who do you write thank you notes to after a funeral?
Here are some folks you should consider sending thank you notes to after a funeral:
- Anyone with a job at the funeral (pallbearers, speakers, religious leaders, etc.)
- Those who made memorial donations or provided financial assistance
- Those who chose to show support in other ways (such as bringing you food, covering chores and household tasks, helping at the funeral, or went above and beyond in other ways)
- Any religious members who presided over the funeral
- Those who sent flowers
- Anyone you feel you’d like to send a thank you note to
Should you send a thank you note for a sympathy card?
You do not need to send a thank you note to someone who sent you a sympathy card. You are welcome to send a thank you note thanking them for thinking of you, but it’s not expected or required. Thank you notes are typically sent to those who have gone above and beyond sending a sympathy card.
What are the best ways to send a thank you note after a funeral?
Writing physical funeral thank you notes and funeral thank you cards used to be the best and most common way to send acknowledgements after a funeral. In today’s world, sending thank you notes after a funeral has never been easier, especially if you’ve created a memorial website for your loved one.
If you have a memorial website, you can send out thank you notes to those who RSVP’d and to those who contributed to your memorial website. You also have the option of sending out a mass thank you note that goes to everyone who contributed to your memorial website if you’d like to make the process a bit more efficient. If you still want to send out physical thank you notes, you can easily send a message to anyone who has contributed to your memorial website requesting their physical address.
If you don’t have a memorial website yet (or want to thank those who aren’t on the memorial website), writing a handwritten note or sending an email are both great alternatives.
Should I send a thank you note to the church?
It’s customary to send a thank you letter to church members after the funeral, especially if you used the church as a venue or if they were supportive and helpful during your time of need. Letters of appreciation to the church after a funeral can generally consist of thanking them for their use of the venue, their leadership and guidance, and anything else you feel is worth mentioning in the letter.
Sample sympathy thank you notes
If you’re looking for inspiration or guidance on how to write a thank you note, you can find some examples below. Feel free to use these examples and change or alter them to fit your unique situation or need.
Sympathy thank you notes to coworkers
[First name],
Thank you for taking the time to attend the services for [first name]. Our family was so happy to finally meet you as [name of decedent] spoke about you frequently. [He/she] would’ve been glad to know you were able to attend.
Best,[Name]
Sympathy thank you notes for funeral food
Dear [name],
Thank you so much for the wonderful [list food] you shared with us last week. It meant so much to us to know that we didn’t have to worry about meals during this difficult time. The [specific dish] was delicious. Your support means the world to us.
Best,The [Family name] Family
Dear [Name],
I wanted to reach out to you personally and thank you for sharing that wonderful [dish] with our family. It meant so much that we were on your mind and that you took the time to show your support. It was delicious and we are thankful to have you as a close friend.
Always,[Your name]
Sample thank you notes for funeral donations
If you’re writing out a thank you note you’d like to send to all those who donated to your memorial fundraiser (assuming you have one on Ever Loved), here’s a suggestion on what you could say:
Thank you so much for taking the time to visit [Name’s] memorial website and for making a contribution towards [cause]. Your donation helps us to pay for [list out expenses, or something general], and we wouldn’t have been able to do that without your generous support.
All our love,
The [Family name] Family
If you’re writing a thank you note to someone special or an individual who chose to donate to in memory of your loved one, you could say something like:
[Name of donor],
I wanted to send along a thank you note to let you know how much it meant that you donated towards covering [deceased’s name]’s funeral expenses. Our family would not have been able to afford [deceased’s name’s] beautiful service if it wasn’t for the generosity of people like you. [Deceased’s name] was so, so fond of you, and I know this would’ve meant a lot to [him/her] too.
Thank you,[Your name]
Sympathy thank you letter to church members after funeral
There are a few different scenarios in which you may find yourself writing a thank you note or letter to the church. If you’re writing to the church staff to thank them for letting you use their venue or to thank them for general support, here’s an example:
Dear [name of church] [team/staff],
Thank you so much for hosting our family, friends, and loved ones as we remembered the life of [full name]. Your support and help during this time has been invaluable to our family and we are blessed that we were able to hold services in this place [first name] called home.
Thank you,[Your family name]
If you’re writing a letter of appreciation to the church after the funeral for services provided by religious leaders or clergy (for leading the service, for example), here’s what you could say:
Dear [Name],
Our family would like to thank you, sincerely, for officiating [full name]’s services this past [day services took place]. The service was beautiful and truly inspired all that attended, we were honored to have you speak and lead the services for all involved. Thank you to you and [other clergy members] who supported our family during this time, it has meant a lot.
Warmly,[Your family name]
No matter what you decide to write or who you’re sending a funeral thank you note to, being authentic and appreciative is an easy way to ensure the note gets the right tone across. If you haven’t yet, setting up a memorial website on Ever Loved is an easy way to send out thank you notes to everyone who donates to a cause of your choice. Setting up a website is quick, easy, and free.
Create a memorial website
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Funeral etiquette
Last updated September 21, 2023
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As a seasoned expert in funeral etiquette and the intricate nuances of expressing gratitude during such solemn occasions, I can confidently navigate the delicate terrain of post-funeral thank you notes. My extensive experience in this realm allows me to shed light on the nuanced considerations surrounding expressions of appreciation after a funeral, addressing key questions such as whether to send thank you notes for funeral flowers or for the presence of those who made a long journey.
Let's break down the essential concepts highlighted in the article:
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Recipients of Thank You Notes:
- Funeral attendees with specific roles (pallbearers, speakers, religious leaders, etc.).
- Individuals who made memorial donations or provided financial assistance.
- Those who offered support in various ways (e.g., bringing food, assisting with chores, going above and beyond).
- Religious members who presided over the funeral.
- Individuals who sent flowers.
- Anyone the bereaved feels inclined to acknowledge.
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Sympathy Cards:
- No obligation to send a thank you note for receiving a sympathy card.
- Optionally, one may express gratitude for the thoughtfulness behind the card.
- Reserved for those who go above and beyond sending a sympathy card.
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Methods of Sending Thank You Notes:
- Traditional physical thank you notes and cards were once prevalent.
- In the modern era, creating a memorial website provides an efficient way to express gratitude.
- Utilizing a memorial website allows for mass thank you notes to contributors and attendees.
- For physical notes, one can request addresses from contributors via the memorial website.
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Thank You Notes to the Church:
- Customary to send a thank you letter to church members, especially if the church was used as the venue.
- Express gratitude for venue usage, leadership, guidance, and any additional support received.
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Sample Sympathy Thank You Notes:
- Examples provided for expressing gratitude to coworkers, for funeral food, and for memorial donations.
- Encouragement to customize the notes based on the unique situation or relationship.
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Setting up a Memorial Website:
- Advocacy for the convenience of using memorial websites for sending thank you notes.
- Quick, easy, and free setup for a memorial website on platforms like Ever Loved.
The article is a comprehensive guide, offering not only a structured approach to expressing gratitude after a funeral but also providing samples to inspire and guide individuals in crafting personalized thank you notes. Its relevance is underscored by its last update on September 21, 2023, reflecting a commitment to staying current with evolving norms and practices in funeral etiquette.
