Including little ones in your wedding is a fun tradition, especially since they usually garner "awws" from guests as they traipse down the aisle. Not only do kids make for some adorable photo ops, but they also have a big responsibility: They typically carry those very important wedding rings down the aisle or prep the aisle with pretty petals for the bride's grand entrance. But what's the appropriate age for your flower girl or ring bearer? After all, you want the child to actually make it down the aisle.
"You will want to consider the age of the child and if they will be able to carry out the role you are assigning them," says wedding planner Victoria Miller. If you're hoping to walk down the aisle as your flower girl blows bubbles, for instance, you have to make sure that you assign the task to someone old enough to be able to follow through.
You also want to fill these spots with those who are actually special to you. "When selecting someone to be a flower girl or ring bearer, consider how close you are to the child or their parents," she says. "Givingnieces and nephews these rolescan be a very diplomatic way to include family members inyour wedding." If you have more than one niece or nephew that you want to include, you don't need to choose who you like more. You can definitely assign more than one child for each role! While it's more common to include multiple flower girls in the ceremony, you can also have multiple ring bearers. Only one will be tasked to carry the rings, but the others may hold other objects that will be used in the ceremony.
Usually, flower girls and ring bearers range from ages three to eight years old. But don't let that stop you from giving those roles to someone younger or older, or even to adults, especially if you're not too keen on the idea of including children in your wedding. Friends, aunts, uncles, and grandparents can make amazing flower ladies and ring bearers.
Children Under Five
It's true: Younger kids are the cutest walking down the aisle. But they're more prone to tantrums, crying, and stage fright. If you choose to include very young children in your wedding party, you (and the parents) have to be flexible. Very young flower girls may not be able to throw petals, so an option is to have them wear flower crowns instead. In the case of young ring bearers, give them faux rings to carry and give your real wedding bands to the best man.
Miller recommends including children in the rehearsal to help avoid situations where the child gets overwhelmed or scared. "This is an amazing way to have a trial run and see how the child does before the wedding day. This also gives them an opportunity to meet any bridalparty members they may not know and be familiar with theirsurroundings," she says.
Coordinate with your wedding planner about potential backup plans and include the parents in the conversation. They might have to bring a toy or a treat to coax their babies out of crying or napping, or they may have to carry the child or hold their hand down the aisle. Remember: Even if a child runs toward the aisle or takes the smallest of steps, a little one's quirkiness is what makes them so cute in the first place!
Ages Five to Ten
Kids between five and ten years old are the best candidates for flower and ring duties. They're old enough to walk down the aisle with minimal issues, and you can rely on them to execute just about any task. In fact, you can give them slightly more complicated tasks like throwing petals, blowing bubbles, or waving ribbon wands. And if you have a mix of older and younger children, you can designate the older kid to guide a younger child. He or she can walk beside the younger one or even hold his or her hand.
It's still helpful to have them attend the wedding rehearsal just to meet the other members of the entourage. "I suggest having the child practice walking all the way down the aisle then turning at the end of the aisle to whichever side their parent will be seated on during the rehearsal, so they know exactly where to go the day of," says Miller, who also proposes letting children sit down after the procession. "It is far too long to hold their attention and young children especially tend to become fidgety, which can be distracting for your guests."
Ring Bearer or Flower Girl Alternatives
"If the thought of an uncooperative toddler invokes stress for you or your fiancé, remember you do nothave to fillthese roles with children," says Miller. Kids may be the norm, but you can definitely assign the role of ring bearer and flower girl to an adult. It's a good solution if you prefer to have a ceremony that's adults-only or have adult loved ones you wish to include in the wedding party. Aunts, uncles, and grandparents can be flower women and ring bearers! "It's a wonderful way to make them feel like they are an important part of your special day," says Miller. And it's practically guaranteed that they'll walk down the aisle, sans tantrums.
This is also a great way to incorporate your pets, like in these uber-cute weddings where couples' dogs have carried the rings down the aisle.
Plus, grandparents definitely garner the same reaction from your guests as toddlers. It's absolutely heartwarming to watch, especially when they're sprinkling petals along the way. Just remember to let your grandparents sit along the first few rows, so they don't have to stand during the ceremony like the rest of your entourage. If necessary, you can even partner your grandparent with someone from your wedding party to serve as an escort during the processional. You can definitely play around here. Miller shares a couple of creative ideas she's seen, including grown men tossing petals from fanny packs and a father-daughter flower duo that danced down the aisle.
FAQs
Usually, flower girls and ring bearers range from ages three to eight years old. But don't let that stop you from giving those roles to someone younger or older, or even to adults, especially if you're not too keen on the idea of including children in your wedding.
Can a 13 year old be a ring bearer? ›
But the appropriate age for a ring bearer is anywhere from 2 to 8-years-old. Just keep in mind that even though they can be all different ages, younger children (like 2-years-old) might be a bit more unpredictable at a wedding ceremony.
Can a 4 year old be a flower girl? ›
You can actually choose flower girls from one year old to ten years old, meanwhile the average age is usually 4-6 years old as sometimes those who are older than six are bigger than their age and may prefer to be junior bridesmaids.
Can a flower girl be a ring bearer? ›
Likewise, these roles are generally assigned by gender. But it's absolutely okay to have a girl step in as ring bearer, and a boy can just as easily throw flower petals.
Who pays for flower girl and ring bearer attire? ›
As with your wedding party, the ring bearer (well... their parents) pay for their own attire. You may, however, opt to purchase the outfits as a gift or pick out a sweet accessory that could become a cherished memento.
What's the oldest for a flower girl? ›
At what age are girls too old to be flower girls? A: Flower girls are generally between four and eight years old. (Sometimes, "mature" two- and three-year-olds pull it off quite charmingly, possibly with parents escorting them down the aisle.)
Can a 10 year old be a flower girl? ›
Flower girls are between ages 3 - 8.
You can have a flower girl who's 9 or 10 (they're so cute, too!), but at this age, she might prefer to be called a junior bridesmaid.
Do flower girl and ring bearer walk together? ›
The Maid or Matron of Honor: The bride's right-hand woman walks alone. The Ring Bearer(s) and/or the Flower Girl(s): The ring bearer walks down the aisle followed by the flower girl. They then sit with their parents after walking down the aisle.
Can a 3 year old be a ring bearer? ›
Flower girls and ring bearers typically range in age from three or four to eight years old. It may look adorable to have your 18-month-old niece toddling down the aisle, but the younger the child, the more difficult to control. And don't only consider the children's ages when selecting your young attendants.
What are flower girl duties? ›
The flower girl traditionally follows the last bridesmaid or maid of honor in the wedding processional, right before the bride makes her entrance. She often scatters flower petals, herbs, or confetti as she walks—centuries ago, this symbolized good fertility for the bride.
Who Pays for the Flower Girl Dress? In line with both the bride and bridesmaid dresses, the flower girl's dress is another item traditionally paid for by the bride's parents. If that's not an option, you can pay for this yourself. Or — if the flower girl is young — you can ask her family to contribute.
Who walks down first ring bearer or flower girl? ›
Every wedding's much loved ring bearer and then flower girl proceeds next. The flower girl is typically the last one to walk down the aisle before the bride. Finally, the bride walks down the aisle last to her wedding with her father or other escort that will give her away.
Are ring bearers still a thing? ›
The ring bearer is sometimes referred to as the ring boy, but you can definitely opt for a girl to take on the role, an adult or your pet. If the child is old enough, talk with them to see if they would like to be a ring bearer in the wedding.
What song does the flower girl walk to? ›
ELTON JOHN – CAN YOU FEEL THE LOVE TONIGHT.
What color is a flower girl dress? ›
Traditionally, most flower girls wear white to match the bride. However, it's your day and you can choose whatever color fits your theme, color palette, and personal aesthetic.
Does flower girl go to rehearsal dinner? ›
If you have a flower girl or ring bearer, technically they should be invited, too—but this largely depends on their age and relationships. If they are a child of a bridal party member, it would go a long way to invite them.
How much is the average flower girl dress? ›
How Much Does a Flower Girl Dress Cost? As you might imagine, the cost of a flower girl dress ranges widely. Off-the-rack dresses start around $40 and go up to about $150 for very intricate, fancy designs. A custom dress can cost up to $500.
Who is traditionally the flower girl? ›
In weddings
In a traditional wedding procession, flower girls are usually members of the bride or groom's extended families or a friend of either family and are usually three to ten years old. In a wedding procession a flower girl walks down the aisle with her partner, usually the ring bearer or page boy.
Who should be the ring bearer? ›
The ring bearer is typically either a bride's or groom's nephew. However, the son of your maid of honor or best man can act in this role. If you have a young boy of your own, the job of ring bearer is a perfect way to get them involved.
Can you have 2 ring bearers? ›
It's okay to have more than one ring bearer if you want.
You can always include more than one ring bearer in your wedding party, even if they are different ages. Older children can pull little ones in a wagon, or one attendant can carry the rings while the other holds a sign.
ask her with a surprise dessert. You can go the easier route and offer up some candy along with a card or a verbal request for her to be your flower girl, or, Kowalski, suggests going the more personal route by ordering a cupcake that has your big question written in delicious icing.
How old should a Jr bridesmaid be? ›
A junior bridesmaid is a younger member of the wedding party who falls between the ages of a flower girl and bridesmaid (usually about eight to 16, or whatever ages you feel are appropriate). She might be a younger sister or sister-in-law, a niece, a cousin, a daughter, or a close family friend.
Can a 2 & 1 2 year old be a flower girl? ›
Is a 2-1/2-year-old too young to be a flower girl? Both her parents are in the wedding party, which I believe would make it easier on her. There is really no age limit because maturity levels can vary greatly from child to child.
Which mother is seated first at a wedding? ›
In Christian ceremonies, the bride's mother is always seated last and the groom's mother is seated just before her. The seating of the bride's mother usually signals the ceremony is about to begin.
Which mother walks down the aisle first? ›
The groom's parents precede the bride's mother during the processional. Here's a rundown: After the ushers have seated all of the guests, the grandparents start up the aisle, followed by the groom's parents. Then the bride's mother takes her turn.
Does the mother of the groom give a gift to the bride? ›
Typically, as per tradition, the mother of the groom will bring a gift for the bride to the bridal shower. It can be something small and thoughtful.
At what age do you count a child as a wedding guest? ›
Any child over the age of 18 is considered an adult, and as such they would receive their own invitation, even if they live at home with their parents. Any child under the age of 18 would be included in the invitation to the parent/parents.
How do you say no kids under 12 at a wedding? ›
“Join us for an adult reception at five o'clock.” “The bride and groom request that this be an adults-only reception.” “Unfortunately we cannot accommodate children – thank you for your understanding.” “Please celebrate with us at an adults-only reception immediately following the ceremony.”
Is 12 pm too early for a wedding? ›
Getting married at 12pm is seen as the best time as it gives you an aim for a 2-3pm wedding breakfast. A 1pm wedding is close to lunch but pushes the meal back to 4/5pm in some cases. A 2pm wedding means that your guests can probably eat before they get to you – if they're warned and advised to do so.
Can flower girls go before ringbearer? ›
Every wedding's much loved ring bearer and then flower girl proceeds next. The flower girl is typically the last one to walk down the aisle before the bride. Finally, the bride walks down the aisle last to her wedding with her father or other escort that will give her away.
The Maid or Matron of Honor: The bride's right-hand woman walks alone. The Ring Bearer(s) and/or the Flower Girl(s): The ring bearer walks down the aisle followed by the flower girl.
What is the flower girl etiquette? ›
In the wedding processional, the flower girl is traditionally after the maid of honor or last bridesmaid, right before the bride processes. The flower girl adorns the aisle with flower petals (or other fun things, but we'll get into that later) as she walks to the altar.
Who walks out first in a wedding? ›
Your officiant is generally the first person to walk toward the altar, signifying the ceremony is about to commence.
Who walks mother of groom down the aisle? ›
The groom might opt to escort his mother down the aisle and to her seat in the front row, followed closely behind by the groom's father. This gives the groom an opportunity to give his parents a hug before taking his place at the altar.
Who seats the mother of the groom? ›
5 minutes prior to ceremony: The groom's mother is escorted to her seat by the head usher, a son, or the groom. The groom's father follows and sits next to her.
How do I prepare my 2 year old to be a flower girl? ›
Choose a time when the girl is happy and rested, and talk about why you would like her to participate. Tell her about the outfit she gets to wear, the actions she'll need to take, and where she will stand. Listen to any fears or questions she has about the big day. Assure that everything is understood.
What ring is for first child? ›
Another symbolic meaning that an eternity ring holds is its representation of the circle of life, for this reason it is often given when a couple welcome their first child to the world. Today eternity rings still carry the symbolic meaning of undying and eternal love and are usually given on a special occasion.
