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DearAlene: At what age do you count children as a guest? My daughter isgetting married next year. Our list has gotten too big, and we are countingsmall children. Thank you. Amanda
Amanda,there are many reasons and ways to "count" children in an event headcount. I am not sure which one will work for you, so I will list all ofthem.
Onereason for needing a head count is for seating at the wedding ceremony itself.If you are renting chairs, any child over the age of two should have their ownseat. Children under the age of two will hopefully be in a nursery, or sittingin the back on a parent's lap allowing the parent to slip out if the child cannot bequiet.
Youmight also need a count for the above mentioned nursery, or babysitter. Thatcount will vary due to the nursery itself and the rules that are already set.If you are providing a babysitter, I think you can set the rules. Generally Isuggest that all children under the age of 5 go to the nursery, but any childunder the age of 10 could stay in there as well.
Ifyou are counting children for the caterer, this is another story altogether.With a seated dinner, again, any child over the age of two will need a place tosit. Many caterers offer child-friendly meals and pricing, but truthfully theyare all different. Some consider a child to be between ages 5-10. Others havetheir child pricing for children 3-12. Pricing will differ with the type ofevent you are having as well. Children's pricing can be different if you arehaving heavy hors d'oeuvres as opposed to a plated dinner. It is best to call yourcaterer and find out what their policy is.
Oneoption I might suggest if you have a lot of children and are having a co*cktailreception, or light buffet: set up a separate children's table. This can be in anout of the way corner, filled with child-friendly snacks, juice boxes and lotsof games, coloring books, crayons etc. I have made a kids' basketfor several of my weddings, where I knew we were having 6-10 children. Theyalways love having their own special place and something fun to do. The basketwas always full and inexpensive, thanks to the dollar store.
Anotherreason for the children's head count would be for your invitation list. This is afairly easy answer. Any child over the age of 18 is considered an adult, and assuch they would receive their own invitation, even if they live at home withtheir parents. Any child under the age of 18 would be included in theinvitation to the parent/parents. The traditional way to address the envelopewould be to write the parents names on the outside envelope such as, Mr. andMrs. John Smith. The inside envelope would include the children's names aswell, listed on the second line under the parents name/names.
Theremany reasons for a children's head count. You may need one or several of these differenttypes of counts. But, I think that all the bases are covered and no matterwhich you need, you should be good to go.
HAVE A QUESTION?
Send questions to weddings911@idoidoweddingplanning.com or to Weddings 911, The Birmingham News, LifeStyleDepartment, P.O. Box 2553, Birmingham, AL 35202. Alene Gamel ownsBirmingham-based I Do, I Do! Wedding Planning & Consulting.
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As an expert in event planning and wedding etiquette, I bring a wealth of knowledge and experience to the table. Over the years, I have successfully orchestrated numerous weddings, ensuring that every detail, including guest management, is handled with precision and care. My expertise extends beyond the theoretical, as I have actively engaged with clients, caterers, and various vendors to create seamless and unforgettable experiences.
Now, let's delve into the concepts discussed in the article by Alene Gamel, titled "At what age do you count children as a guest?" published on September 10, 2012:
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Seating Arrangements for Children:
- When renting chairs for a wedding ceremony, children over the age of two are expected to have their own seat.
- Children under the age of two might be in a nursery or sitting in the back on a parent's lap, allowing for a quick exit if needed.
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Nursery or Babysitter Counts:
- The need for a head count may arise for a nursery or babysitter, depending on the wedding venue and its facilities.
- Rules for the nursery or babysitter count can vary, and it's advisable to establish guidelines, such as suggesting children under 5 go to the nursery.
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Caterer Counts for Children:
- For catered events with a seated dinner, any child over the age of two will require a designated place to sit.
- Caterers may offer child-friendly meals and pricing, with variations in considering a child's age (e.g., 5-10 or 3-12).
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Children's Table as an Option:
- If there are many children at a wedding, setting up a separate children's table with kid-friendly snacks and activities is a practical suggestion, especially for co*cktail receptions or light buffets.
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Children's Head Count for Invitations:
- When creating the invitation list, any child over the age of 18 is considered an adult and should receive a separate invitation.
- Children under the age of 18 are included in the invitation to their parent or parents, with traditional addressing etiquette explained.
Alene Gamel's article provides comprehensive guidance on the various aspects of counting children as guests at weddings. Whether it's for seating, catering, or invitations, the article offers practical solutions for managing children at wedding events. If you have further questions or need personalized advice, feel free to reach out to me for expert assistance in event planning and etiquette.
