Funeral Etiquette: Who Buys the Casket Flowers? (2024)

One of the most awkward things about attending a memorial or funeral service is finding the exact words to show one’s sympathies and support to the bereaved family as well as respect. It can be very awkward because you might not really be able to express what you really want. Funeral flowers have been used as a very important instrument in conveying messages that can never really be explained by words. One of the most often asked questions iswho buys the casket flowers?

Casket Flowers for the Funeral Service

Funeral Etiquette: Who Buys the Casket Flowers? (1)

Unfortunately, sending the wrong sympathy or funeral flower can have the same devastating effect on the bereaved family as an ill-timed or even demeaning word.

As such, it is very important to have an understanding of some funeral flower etiquette to really convey the right message.

So Who Buys the Casket Flowers?

One of the most often asked question is who buys the casket flowers? Generally, flowers used in memorial or funeral services take a hierarchical structure depending on the relationship of the flower provider to the deceased.

The closer the relationship, the closer the flower gets to the body of the deceased. If one were to look at the casket as the center of the bull’s eye, each concentric ring that radiates from the center will be defined by the relationship of individuals to the deceased.

Where Flowers Get Placed at the Funeral

Now, consider it as three concentric rings with the innermost ring as the casket. Generally, flowers to be placed in the center of the ring – the casket – are exclusive to immediate members of the deceased’s family, both his family of orientation and his family of procreation.

The middle ring is allotted to distant family members and relatives up to the third and fourth filial degree. The outermost concentric ring is given to all other individuals showing their respect for the departed and sympathies for the bereaved family.

Funeral Etiquette: Who Buys the Casket Flowers? (2)

The Immediate Family Buys the Casket Flowers

It is therefore crucial that only the spouse, children, siblings, and parents can place flowers on the casket of their dear departed. In military funeral tradition where the casket is draped on the national flag, the bereaved family can choose to place a standing spray instead. In some cases, they can also provide minimalist floral arrangements at the foot surrounding the casket. This is to give precedence to the honor of being draped in the national flag.

Other floral arrangements for other areas of the funeral home or the church can be provided by distant members of the family and friends and acquaintances. To put it simply, only the immediate family has the right to put any type of flower arrangement on or within the immediate vicinity of the casket.

Casket Flowers and Other Pieces for Funeral Services

When buying funeral flowers, the more conventional choices include carnations, roses, and lilies although chrysanthemums and gladioli are also sought after. As a general rule however, the choice of flower should not detract the attention from the deceased. Flowers should be as neutral as possible so that people will not have their attention drawn to the flowers instead of the memorial or funeral service.

So who buys the casket flowers? Only those closest to the deceased have the inherent right to do so.

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Funeral Etiquette: Who Buys the Casket Flowers? (2024)

FAQs

Who usually pays for casket spray? ›

Funeral flower etiquette dictates that members of the family (including the children of the deceased, their siblings, and grandchildren) take care of the spray that covers the coffin.

What is the protocol for funeral flowers? ›

What kind of flowers should I send for sympathy? Sympathy and funeral flowers tend to be a bit more formal than other types of floral arrangements. For a traditional look, you might choose lilies, roses, or gladioli. Snapdragons, stock, larkspur, and carnations are also popular.

Does the family buy flowers for a funeral? ›

Usually, co-workers, club members, or groups of friends will often split a larger arrangement. Close family members will often get floral arrangements for the funeral service. If you are unable to attend the funeral, sending flowers in your stead is a common way to show your sympathy.

Who should give flowers at a funeral? ›

Funeral flowers can be sent by anyone who would like to express their condolences for the deceased. Etiquette states that business associates can send flowers to the office of the recently deceased in remembrance. Family and friends can send flowers to the home, funeral or church service.

What happens to casket spray after funeral? ›

After the burial, it's customary to leave the casket spray on the gravesite in remembrance. Or, you could offer close family members a single flower from it to have as a keepsake.

How much should I spend on sympathy flowers? ›

Typically you can expect to pay in the region of $50.00 – $80.00 for a decent size floral arrangement. Specialist requests for name floral tributes or shaped wreaths can cost anything upwards of $100.00 and a large casket spray can cost between $250 – $700.

Which of the following is the average cost of a casket spray? ›

The average cost of a funeral spray is between $100 and $300.

Which of the following is the average cost of a casket spray responses? ›

The immediate family will traditionally choose a “Casket Spray”, a flower piece that sits on top of the casket. A Casket Spray will cost between $150-700 typically, depending on the size of it, and what type of flowers.

What is funeral etiquette? ›

When attending a service, be on time and enter the house of worship or location where the funeral will be held as quietly as possible. If there are no ushers, remember that the seats closer to the front should be taken by very close friends, with acquaintances seating themselves in the middle or towards the rear.

Who pays for flowers on casket? ›

The Immediate Family Buys the Casket Flowers

This is to give precedence to the honor of being draped in the national flag. Other floral arrangements for other areas of the funeral home or the church can be provided by distant members of the family and friends and acquaintances.

What is the etiquette for immediate family at a funeral? ›

At the funeral service, family traditionally sit on the right-hand side while friends, colleagues and other mourners sit on the left. Immediate family and close friends sit in the front few rows.

How much money do you give for a funeral? ›

How Much Should You Give? The traditional gift is the amount you would have spent on flowers for the service, generally between $50 and $100.

What not to do at a funeral? ›

Things You Should NOT Do at a Funeral
  • Laugh out of turn. ...
  • Wear something revealing or loud. ...
  • Disrespect cues. ...
  • Make unnecessary noise. ...
  • Speak out of turn. ...
  • Applaud out of turn. ...
  • Yawn excessively. ...
  • Move around too much.
Sep 13, 2022

Is it better to give money or flowers at funeral? ›

A family in need will appreciate any amount of money, so offer as much as you can afford. If you weren't very close to the deceased, you may offer the amount equivalent to a flower arrangement. At the end of the day, it's the gesture that counts the most.

What is the most popular flower for a funeral? ›

1. Lilies – These flowers are a traditional choice for funerals, especially white ones because they represent rejuvenation of the soul and rebirth. 2. Carnations – Another common choice for expressing sympathy.

Can you touch the deceased at an open casket? ›

OPEN-CASKET FUNERAL ETIQUETTE

If they have an open casket viewing, make sure you follow proper funeral etiquette: DON'T touch the body under any circ*mstances. Sometimes the casket has a glass to prevent this from happening.

How long does a body last in a sealed casket? ›

The body takes between ten to fifteen years to decay to a point where you may just find bones, teeth and hair remaining in the casket. There may also be some excess tissue and clothing fibers that withstood the ten years of decay.

Does water seep into caskets? ›

The caskets and their surface vaults are sealed airtight, so pressure builds inside them when a hurricane or flash flood covers them in water. Moisture weakens the vault seal, and eventually the water begins to bubble with dead air—the tell-tale sign a casket is ready to pop out of its grave, Hunter said.

When sending a sympathy card should you put money in it? ›

Consider Sending Memorial Money

You don't have to send a gift along with the card, but you certainly can. Many people send flowers, but it's also really easy to put money on the card. When you send the money, let the family know you want them to honor their loved one in whatever way they see fit.

How much money do you put in a sympathy card? ›

There is no hard and fast rule for how much money you should put into a sympathy card. It is important to consider how much you can afford and the need of the family. You don't want to put financial constraints on your family because of giving.

What is the etiquette for putting money in a sympathy card? ›

If you choose to give money, be discreet and respectful. Put your check or cash inside an envelope with the sympathy card and hand it to the person you want to receive it. If you're concerned that it won't be opened right away, you might mention that there is something extra inside.

What is the difference between a coffin and a casket? ›

Coffins get tapered to conform to the shape of a human form. A coffin also has a removable lid while caskets have lids with hinges. Coffins are usually made out of wood and lined with cloth interiors. Unlike caskets, they do not have rails that make transportation easier.

How much is a decent casket? ›

Average Cost. Caskets are a very pricey final expense, having an average cost between $2,000 and $5,000. A casket's price is based on factors such as: Material.

How much is a good casket? ›

Casket prices at funeral homes are between $900 and $10,000, and if you order online, prices vary from $600 to $6,000. The material used for caskets affects the price the most, and you can find metal caskets for $about 900 and wood caskets for over $4000.

Why do caskets spray? ›

A casket spray is a common funeral arrangement that goes on top of the casket as a way to adorn the coffin. Casket sprays can combine as many flowers and motifs as the family wishes. Common funeral flower arrangements include roses, orchids, hydrangeas, trailing greens, and so on.

What is a funeral posy? ›

Funeral posies are suitable as funeral flowers and as tribute gifts to the bereaved family. The 'Posy' is traditionally circular in shape allowing both flowers and foliage to be displayed perfectly from all angles and are often chosen as tributes suitable to be sent to a cremation.

What makes a casket expensive? ›

The materials used for making the casket, the number of hours to build it, and the casket design are the main factors in the final price of a casket. Caskets made of rare hardwoods like mahogany are more expensive than models made of more common and widely available woods like pine.

What is disrespect at a funeral? ›

"Talking or being on your phone during the service is one of the most disrespectful things you could do at a funeral," says Myka Meier, Beaumont Etiquette founder and etiquette expert. It's important to be as present as possible. "Silence your phone, shut off your phone, or even just leave it behind.

What not to say after a funeral? ›

Don't tell friends or family members who are grieving that their loved one has gone to a better place. Never call the death a blessing or speculate that it was that person's time. Avoid saying anything that suggests that the loss of the loved one is a positive thing.

Do you pay respect at a funeral? ›

It is customary to show your respects by viewing the deceased if the body is present and the casket is open. You may wish to say a silent prayer for, or meditate about, the deceased at this time. In some cases the family may escort you to the casket. The length of your visit at the wake is a matter of discretion.

How many flowers needed for casket spray? ›

In most cases covering half of the casket. In the case of a closed casket, a spray can typically cover 3/4 or more, if desired. The flowers of the casket-spray are chosen to represent the loved-one in colour and style. It is not necessary to add a banner to the spray.

Should you buy flowers when someone dies? ›

If the person that passed was particularly close to you or the family plays an important part in your life, then sending and addressing your sympathy flowers directly to the family home is a more intimate gesture. Keep in mind that smaller, thoughtfully arranged floral bouquets are more appropriate for this.

What happens to casket flowers after funeral? ›

After the Funeral: Flowers

Flower arrangements received at your home may be kept at home or taken to the service or funeral home. Arrangements sent directly to the funeral home will be transported to the service by the funeral director if necessary.

What not to say to the family at a funeral? ›

7 Things to Not Say at a Funeral
  • “They're an angel now.” No, they're not. ...
  • “I know how you feel.” ...
  • “They look so good.” ...
  • “Don't cry” or “Go ahead and cry.” ...
  • “At least it wasn't worse.” ...
  • “God is sovereign.” ...
  • “Let me know if I can help.” ...
  • What can you say instead?
May 24, 2018

Should a family member speak at a funeral? ›

It is not written anywhere that you have to speak at your loved one's funeral. There are no rules requiring such a moment. If you feel compelled to greet and thank all those gathered or share your thoughts about your loved one, write your thoughts and have someone else read your words during the service.

Who sits in front row at funeral? ›

The front rows are for the immediate family so sit nearer the back if you did not know the person very well. However, if there are few mourners present then sit nearer to the front. It does not matter which side of the 'aisle' you sit.

What is the biggest expense of a funeral? ›

Casket. A casket is often the most expensive item that factors into the average funeral cost.

Is it rude not to give money at a funeral? ›

Money is not an appropriate gift, although exceptions may be made when the family is left in extreme financial difficulty. In that case, friends may wish to pool contributions to make a gift of assistance.

What is the most expensive thing about a funeral? ›

A casket often is the single most expensive item you'll buy if you plan a "traditional" full-service funeral. Caskets vary widely in style and price and are sold primarily for their visual appeal.

What's the hardest part of a funeral? ›

Attending a visitation can be the hardest part for people to attend, because it involves talking to the deceased's family. A good recommendation is to say something simple such as “I am sorry about your loss”, especially if there are many other guests waiting to share their condolences.

What not to do in a cemetery? ›

No running, yelling, or rolling around on the ground. This is not a place for childhood games. Don't let them play on any of the monuments. While it is good to get children used to paying respects at a cemetery, they often don't fully understand the meaning of everything in the cemetery.

Who should deliver a eulogy? ›

There is no hard and fast rule as to who should give the eulogy speech at a funeral. It's typically given by those who were particularly close, or had a special relationship with, the loved one who passed. It could be a best friend, a spouse, a child or grandchild, or even a co-worker.

What is condolence money called? ›

Condolence Money (Bai Jin) at Buddhist Funerals

Monetary gifts also known as 'pek kim' or 'bai jin', is a common tradition in not only Buddhist funerals but also in most chinese funerals. Usually, the money is kept inside a white envelope.

What is the best thing to give at a funeral? ›

Flowers, sympathy cards, custom keepsakes, and donations are all appropriate gifts to bring to a funeral. While a gift is certainly not required, it can be a thoughtful way to communicate your love for those grieving. Flower and plant arrangements can often be sent to the funeral home prior to the service.

Who do you make a check out to for a funeral? ›

Also, don't make checks payable to a “Family of,” instead find a specific fund or individual name to make the check payable to. Most etiquette experts advise to send the donations within 10 days of the funeral, so the family can include you when writing thank you notes after the funeral.

What color roses when someone dies? ›

White roses

White is often the traditional color chosen for funeral flowers. White roses signify purity, innocence, honor and peace. If the person who has passed on was an elderly and well-respected person in your community, this may be an appropriate choice of flowers to take along to the ceremony.

What do yellow roses mean at a funeral? ›

Yellow roses are given by friends of the deceased to symbolize their strong ties. When you include a single rose in a bouquet it expresses enduring love for the deceased.

What can I put on a casket instead of flowers? ›

What to Put on a Casket Instead of Flowers
  1. Casket wraps. Wraps are becoming widely popular thanks to the ability to wrap a full casket in whatever design is desired. ...
  2. Flag or banner. ...
  3. Decor. ...
  4. Photographs. ...
  5. Quilt. ...
  6. Stuffed animals. ...
  7. Sports jersey. ...
  8. Special items.
Apr 22, 2022

How long do casket sprays last? ›

Arrangements can easily be transported to a church or place of ceremony and will last for several days, as opposed to a wreath or wall-spray which won't survive more than a day or two.

What is the most expensive piece when planning a funeral? ›

A casket often is the single most expensive item you'll buy if you plan a "traditional" full-service funeral. Caskets vary widely in style and price and are sold primarily for their visual appeal. Typically, they're constructed of metal, wood, fiberboard, fiberglass or plastic.

What is the tradition of a casket spray? ›

A casket spray is a common funeral arrangement that goes on top of the casket as a way to adorn the coffin. Casket sprays can combine as many flowers and motifs as the family wishes. Common funeral flower arrangements include roses, orchids, hydrangeas, trailing greens, and so on.

Do caskets let water in? ›

Yes, modern caskets are sealed airtight, and waterproof in order to protect the body from decomposition. This is especially important if the body is going to be on display for a funeral or memorial service.

How long does it take for a casket to rot? ›

Caskets made from either metal or wood will take an average of 50 or more years to decompose underground. The casket's duration depends on the type of wood used to build it and the composition of chemicals found on the grave.

Do caskets get water in them? ›

Caskets, be they of metal or wood, are sealed so that they protect the body. The sealing will keep the elements, air, and moisture from getting inside the coffin.

What are two types of casket sprays? ›

1. Half casket spray - This kind of spray is intended for half-open casket services, with the arrangement sitting on the bottom half of the casket. 2. Full casket spray - For a closed casket, the full casket spray sits on the entire length of the coffin.

Are casket sprays one sided? ›

Spray - A one sided flower design, flat on the back side, which can be displayed in various ways, for example, casket spray, easel spray, or flat spray.

What is etiquette on funeral money? ›

Money is not an appropriate gift, although exceptions may be made when the family is left in extreme financial difficulty. In that case, friends may wish to pool contributions to make a gift of assistance.

What is the average gift for a funeral? ›

How Much Should You Give? The traditional gift is the amount you would have spent on flowers for the service, generally between $50 and $100.

How much money is good for a funeral? ›

The median funeral costs $7,848 for a viewing and burial, while a funeral with cremation costs $6,970.

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