Lil
August 11th, 2015 at11:25 AMNothing like making you think the absolute worst things about yourself like getting dumped can do! I have to admit that there have been men who have made me lose my confidence and who have reduced me to tears, but I have learned that the best way to get over it is to finally make some peace with myself and who i am. Not always the easiest thing to do, I know, but once you are accepting and tolerant of who you are then it doesn’t seem to matter quite as much what other people think about you.
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jonathan
August 12th, 2015 at10:28 AMthe instinct for me has always been to hide the pain. Never let them see you hurting even if it is killing you on the inside, don’t let anyone else know that. Not the healthiest way to cope, but you know, I’m a guy so thre pressure is always there to just suck it up and move on.
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tracy
August 26th, 2019 at10:18 AMI am sorry that you feel because you are a guy that you are not free to express your hurt feelings. Men have pain too
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Sierra
August 12th, 2015 at4:16 PMYou have to learn to not only forgive yourself but also forgive the one who breaks up with you. Of course the break up will break your heart, we have all been there done that. But most of the time in a young relationship this is not the end of the world. It probably does feel like it is at the time, but believe me it isn’t. I would encourage anyone going through this to acknowledge the power that forgiveness can have in your life- you may not forget what was done to you, but letting go is one of the best feelings ever. Let go of that pain and move forward.
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Vaishnav L
October 14th, 2017 at9:44 AMBeing dumped will hurt u a lot . But nothing can be done if u don’t push your mind out of it . Its a hard process but always remember the harder it gets the better u be rewarded . You may feel like you’ll never get a person like your ex , but suck it up cause you were even after you trusted gave everything you could from your side . Another person would always be there as you deserve it who will understand your effort even if your not the best and make you feel special and happy as you always wanted . Just remember and live by this principle . I believe in karma and its gonna make it even to those who deserve and those who don’t . Just be true honest and kind hearted as a human being you will deserve everything you have put your heart into <3 have a nice day
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dawn
August 14th, 2015 at7:35 AMSooooo much easier to be the dumper instead of the dumpee!
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Marnie
July 5th, 2018 at2:19 PMThat has always been my Motto – but this last time I felt there was no closure. After 1 1/2 years, dating a widower, he just decided he needed/wanted to be alone. Then I found him on a dating site – looking for marriage. I confronted him. HIs daughter told me 1 thing, he another. It is as painful as losing my husband.
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Lindsey
July 14th, 2018 at8:11 AMI agree. I fee like they got all the power and while I am here heartbroken they seem to be moving on a lot quicker because it was their decision. I try to not let them know I want them back but its hard and for that I think that gives them more power because they know that there is a place for them and they can decide to come back when and if they want. My bf of 6 years just left 2 days ago and I feel like I am dying inside.
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Alice
February 4th, 2019 at8:49 PMSending you a hug. I just had my very good friend dump me after 10 years of togetherness. Did not marry or live together. I had to move 6 hours from where we were to be with my family and for other reasons. After 3 years, he decided he did not want to maintain a long distance relationship. He saw a woman somewhere he always goes, asked for her phone number and was dating her within about 1 week of the breakup. Oh he called me supposedly before he found her, pretty much yelled at me on the phone. And since then he has been ignoring me. Wont answer the phone or respond to texts. And it seems not matter what I say in a text, he comes back with a snotty reply. As it said on here – Don’t think of it as getting dumped, think of it as being set free. One day I did feel very free. I need to apply that more. It looks like I will be having to let him go.
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Sonia
September 7th, 2019 at7:58 AMYeees I agree totally.
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Allison
August 15th, 2015 at7:38 AMI won’t say that I have or have not done this, but there is something that can be sort of therapeutic about burning all the stuff from the relationship!
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Vanessa
August 13th, 2019 at2:26 AMyesssss agreed hahahha
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Carter L.
August 16th, 2015 at10:55 AMYou have to give yourself some time and space to live with the loss that you have gone through. Just because you have ended a relationship or someone has ended it with you is not going to mean that automatically you will stop loving this person. That’s crazy. You have to take the same kind off time to mourn the end of thship the same way that you would with anything in your life that ends and I think that this is where so many of us get into trouble. We want to add things to our lives to just avoid those hard and difficult feelings, whereas if we would simply learn to process the grief that we are feeling I think that w could see that the healing time could be cut down immensely because we would actually confront those feelings instead of simply trying to bury them.
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lark265
September 22nd, 2017 at2:25 PMnice….thanks
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Lewis
August 17th, 2015 at9:35 AMWhen you fail to forgive and forget the person that you hold that grudge against is living in your head and still getting the best of you, ruining your life long after they shouldn’t even be a part of it anymore. Just let it go.
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Dan
September 26th, 2017 at2:51 AMEventually my gf dumped me, my Mexican heritage never bonded with her japanese perfection. She was very happy with me but the differences and non skin communication finally made her to leave me. My self-steem was always on the floor, she just fulminated my human value. I am not a savage, edudated with collegue degree living in Australia, glad maybe is good to be free and will heal all this wounds. Something inside me tells me that she was so racist and never open to me.
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suzanne c.
November 18th, 2018 at8:22 PMThank you
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dani
August 18th, 2015 at4:32 PMYou are so right- Exercise can be a great way to get rid of those demons!
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Mercy
August 16th, 2016 at5:35 AMYour advice has been very helpful to me,since I just got dumped
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Loice
January 3rd, 2017 at11:50 PMWe have been taught to say ‘when you were set free’ eliminate that being dumped inyour mind dear, u will then acknowledge the freedom you now have and move on enjoying that Freedom
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theoldguy
February 16th, 2017 at11:42 PMMust be nice to be able to do all that. My former girlfriend got engaged on the day before my birthday so I’d always remember
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Shahab
February 20th, 2017 at5:10 AMJust got dumped by the girl I Love. Yap, deleting all her pictures. Isolating myself. I hope it will help. If you ever ever read this, know that I loved you crazy and despite all the promised that you’ve broken and all that you’ve made me go through, no, I don’t hate you. I love you. But I’ll have to change. You’ve left me with no choice. You’ve paralyzed my life. I’ve loved you with all my heart and you’ve repay me in the worst way. But …I’ll live. I might never be the same again but I’ll live.
Thank you, @author. This has been really helpful :) -
carrie riley
March 4th, 2017 at6:47 PMI was just dumped by my boyfriend i loved for three years. I did the same…deleted all our pictures ect. I feel for you and hope in time we both find true love again without the pain. Right now I cant imagine forever really exists with that one special person. Even though it is all I want. I have no desire to play the field. Good luck…to all of us.
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Joan
March 31st, 2017 at4:35 AMThe comments were as helpful, as the article was. I helped my boyfriend get a better job, better vehicle, and supported him 100% throughout our time together. He dumped me. Without warning, or hesitation. He tried to break my heart, but he broke his the most.
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Dumped
April 15th, 2017 at2:16 PMI was just dumped while going through some depression and anxiety… She was my rock, albeit my shakey rock… But I needed her support. I felt very hurt because her leaving only validated how I felt that my depression and anxiety was pushing people out of my life. Now I have to be strong for myself and it’s very hard. Three years is a long time to be together and just throw away. Now I’m picking up the pieces by myself and even around friends and family I feel alone. I’m still trying everyday… I hope one day these afflictions will lift and I can be naturally happy again. I will still love her and could never hate her for finding her happiness without me. Thanks for this article and I hope everyone else out there finds their happiness too.
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Sunny
June 24th, 2017 at7:45 PMWow our experiences are so similar….Q-Q other than the gender role is flipped and it’s a long distance relationship. We’ve been seeing each other around 3~4 months/year and it’s been almost three years. He helped me a lot in getting better with my depression and anxiety… he was the one I could turn to show all those crazy thoughts and emotions that struck me sometimes. Although he can’t be together anymore because of the distance and our position in life, I can’t help but wonder if it was my personality that pushed him away,just like how I pushed all my of friends out of my life because I feel like I’m not the same person as before and it would only depress them if they hang out with me. Now he’s gone too. He wanted to stay as friends and we did for two weeks. But it was so hard.. hearing him say that he doesn’t love me anymore, I’m only a friend (a long distance one too), feeling him shifting away further and further, and knowing that I’m no longer his priority. It hurts so bad. I still yearn to hear his voice, even if it is just online. But I know he couldn’t care less anymore. It’s been 6 days since I cut off all contacts with him. It hurts, but it will get better. Talking to him may make me feel better temporarily, but the pain will never stop this way. This article and all these comments make me feel less alone, like there are people who understands my pain. Thank you and best of luck to all of you :)
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Dumped hard
July 17th, 2017 at3:24 PMI am in the same boat. My long distance boyfriend just broke up with me. It ended in the worst row, id had a lot of bad luck lately and stupidly took it out on him, I basically fought daily until he had to walk away. He is telling me he wants to be friends but being so cold. This is just my first day not talking to him after the breakup on 23rd June and it hurts so bad. Does anyone else struggle with the idea of trying to get the person back? These tips will help but I’m struggling so much.
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Dumped hard
July 11th, 2017 at8:13 PMCan you actually die of sadness? food..no sleep….NO friends supportive words…NO
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Amber
July 12th, 2017 at8:24 AMdying on the inside indeed… but it will get better eventually. You can follow r/BreakUps on reddit, you can post your story anonymously and get a lot of great advices; or just read through what other people post and feel that you are not alone in feeling the pain.
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loice
October 29th, 2017 at5:06 AMSadness on its self does not kill, what u are doing is neglecting your body hence depression will give room for more diseases, not mentioning you not having a proper diet…….. those plus lack of sleep will lead there
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Lindsey
February 4th, 2018 at7:28 PMFeels like I am dying
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Lady
February 18th, 2019 at10:05 PMI just go dumped by a guy i was seeing for 3 months. He just said h doesn’t have love feelings for me. He said it’s been 3 months and he is still not inlove so if it doesn’t happen in 3 months it will not happen anytime soon. I really like the guy and even though I’m really not inlove with him yet I was so determined to make the relationship work. It sucks that people put a deadline or a 3-month rule in love. Mature love takes time to develop. I still wanna keep seeing him but he made it clear he will never change his mind. I feel like my insides have turned to ice and i cannnot even eat or sleep properly. I need some advice… im so broken inside right now… :(
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Liesel
August 17th, 2017 at2:31 PMI have been divorced a LONG time and rarely fall in love. But I did. Three months into it, he ended it abruptly, saying he wasn’t “too sure” he wanted to be monogamous. Same reason his wife divorced him a year earlier. Devastated. It’s stupid to hurt this much. My heart skips when I see a reminder in town. I’ve tried everything this article recommends. Now I just have to wait for it to heal, I guess. : (
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lark265
September 22nd, 2017 at2:41 PMI know about those awful “reminders”…..they somehow are almost worse than seeing the actual person
or hearing their voice…..yes, this site has a ton of advice, but I know for me what helps is walking with others in the same boat…..pain tries to find pain to help itself get through -
Leonard
October 8th, 2017 at9:19 PMI just dumped by my gf who has a son, both of us are divorcee. We started relationship 2 years back but she said she don’t have time with me rather to spend her bonding time with her son, spending time with me is tiring, but the core reason is she did not love me at the first place but just to find a companion when she gets hurt by someone before me. This is disaster for me and it really hurt me am I that bad to her while I was blending hard to her life, even go out “dating” with her son most of time. Yes she set me free, I can’t love her anymore as it is stupid to love a person that no longer love you.
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cindy
November 11th, 2017 at1:26 AMMy boyfriend dumped me after 1 year 2 months of being together. I was there for this man when he was injured could not walk or move for 4 months. driving 200km 3 times a week to take care of him. he was on a wheelchair for the last 5 months and I would take him for picnics when everyone thought he was down and out & boring. First thing he did soon after his recovery was to get rid of me and now He spend time with people who rejected him the time he was down. I am hurt , He picked a fight with me and I did not fight instead I decided to give him space and kept quite for 4 days on the 5th day he told me hes moved on there is a lady in his life and no space for me.
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Felipe
November 11th, 2017 at4:32 AMI was dumped by my gf of three years out of the bloom, just after an amazing period in which we were really happy, at least in the surface, i guess yes there were problems like in all relationships but i thougt we were working them out activley since we had stablished a policy to communicate and solve our issues. It went down really fast and she was super determiend, also it was just as I i took a job in wich I have to travel for a month an a half, i feel terribly sad and i loved her fondly and still cant belive she came to this determination so fast, only after a week i started this job. I tried to make her reconsider her determination but the only thing i foud was more sadnees an determination to never see me again. I am also really frustrated, disaponted and angry at her since she could not whait a month so i came back from this important job oportunity, now i feel like sh** in a job that should have gone perfectly ok, i am fighting now to find the strenght to overcome this pain and do an excelent job, I feel like she was too strategic of when to end this better for here, since im nowere close but left me in an unknown enviroment and important setting in which i needed to be at my best. We had an age diference she 30 me 25. She said that she came to a point in which she felt that she needed to grow and could not whait for me no more which makes it even harder to digest, and also that our love was just based on needenes and dependence. I have moments of peace over the day but mostly I am living in an emotional rolercoaster, i feel like a drama queen some times, since i have thought the comedown throug many times and talked to 4-5 friends and my mom, reaching the conclusion i have to let her go, only to find myself holding a secret hope that she will make up her mind or some how il get her back. Added to all this mess i foud some extremlely enticing mesages of her and other guy in the computer on one night i was at home town from the job, of her shearing some hot pictures just one night before our break up and talking to the guy before also, yes y violeted her privacy and i am sorry really sorry for that but truly i had no answers as for way she suddenly change so drasticly her mind about us since only tow weeks before we were having a really good time working together in photography projects and planing for the future, other that eh ones she mentioned that seemed so general i could not take them seriously enough, yes at some levevel we were not fully independent a so ther was yes some needenes and dependece on the relationship but im shure it was not at all the definig factor of our dyniamic or at lest i think that myself, for the age diference an her telling i was holding her back i find the claim kind of baffling since i was very very supportive of her plans an future desires, but one thing there was an issue at is economic independence, I was just starting to work my way up while she is already established a reputation and has a sort of constant work income, wedding photograper. I feel i was a rock for her when she strated to work and grow to become succesfull but now i feel she left me alone when im about to start to cath her in this respect, so yes i acknowledge that there is indeed at least an economic gap. But her saing she was hold up by me on her growing and facing life still is a wierd too me, i did no more than help her when i could and was available. If there is anyone whith some insight into my story it wold be gratley apreciated thanks and good luck every one.
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Sal
February 4th, 2018 at1:46 AMSounds like there wasnt real love from her side to begin with, and she didnt really have the courage to tell you that she wanted other things .. sorry buddy.
I &****ed up in a similar way .. literally having an angel take care of me and put up with 10 years of me being on and off with her .. going to other girls and her taking me back .. me taking a near lethal amount of substances daily (ptst nutcase). And she stood by me while i took all that for granted, took me back every time but ive pushed it to the point where she doesnt love me anymore, packed up her things and left and just decided to live life. The worst part was me being so drug ****ed that i was aware of what i was doing but didnt have the power over my mind to do and say the right things.. its like a demon controling your actions while youre suppressed in the background watching you ruin your life .. today i went to try get her back again only to hear that she doesnt love me anymore and shes gone cold on me.. i got down on one knee in a busy street where we spoke in hope of re conciliating on my part,but thats where she left me in tears on the pavement there. With a smile she told me its too late. Now i have a few easy options im contemplating lets all see if i got the balls to do it -
Listoh
April 11th, 2018 at11:02 AMI experience the same right now, The difference from our stories is that on the 1April as we all know that its the april fool..She dumped me and later she said that, it was a joke and yet i understood, during our chat on the phone i told her that i will make my own april fool..after few days i phoned her and we spoke a little but since her area had a problem of network the line cut us otherwise i phoned again and asked who is the important person who was calling and she got angry, same time dropped her phone and sent me a message dumping me. She never answear my calls and SMSs..NOW I DONT GIVE A D*** BECAUSE ITS OBVIOUS THAT SOME PEOPLE PLAY WITH HEARTS
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Robert P
February 5th, 2018 at11:17 AMAt age 39, I got into a relationship, my first and only, thus far. At age 43, she ended it. I was, and still am crushed. It’s been 1 year, 4 months, since. My anger is just now starting to subside. Working it out on the treadmill; at the gym helped. Still bitter, but mostly sad now. I don’t know if I’ll ever pursue another relationship, I have a lot wrong with me. The prospect of facing my older years alone, isn’t something I’m looking forward to, but being 45 now, with not much going for me, doesn’t scream a great catch.
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Marie
February 7th, 2018 at1:15 PMHe was my first relationship at almost 28 years..I was so happy because I thought finally, this is why I haven’t had anyone else. He ended it after 5.5 months saying he didn’t feel we had a lot of chemistry or things in common, which I don’t think is true. I tried to ask him if he wanted to make it work but he didn’t want to. It hurts so bad. I feel like the pain will never go away. I hope one day I can be genuinely happy again. Even if it does mean I will be alone.
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felipe
February 7th, 2018 at5:59 PMHi Marie, I am sorry for your loss, but really i think if its your first relationship its normal what happened look at it as a first try in a very complicated game (that wich is human relationships beliveme they are no easy thing) If he felt that way and you did not i get it its a smack on the nuts (not but really i get your pain you can read my coment is yours in the thread at november 11. So by all means and take it from some one who did the wrong thing, get your life together even if you dont fell like it and start working on your projects, because you will gent nothig from standing still on a rut or stagnating over what happend, life its a ***** some times and thats how it is you can learn from it or not its your choice that its not to say you should not greif or cry by all means do it, but late at night when you had a productive day, i know i did not do it and i can say you it didt came good for me now im having to work and enmend my routines and reputation. so please put your tough side now and work it out, best of luck, felipe. Sorry for my english not my native languge.
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Marie
February 8th, 2018 at1:32 PMHi Felipe. Thank you for your comment. I appreciate you taking the time to write it. I will take it day by day and hopefully something better will come along.
I am sorry for your situation also. I cant imagine being with someone for 3 years and them leaving suddenly. Be strong! The things we can not control/have no power to are things that we should not give so much power to. Only the things we have control over should we worry about. Best of luck. -
Richard S
March 5th, 2018 at1:28 PMIt’s almost like a death of a loved one.
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Charlene
April 10th, 2018 at6:46 PMI have just been dumped from a very close friendship of 13 years. In that time i saw him through many hard times. He battled with depression,money worries,life in general. I stood by him when no one else would be his friend.He had an alcohol problem as well.I sorted his house out and made it liveable.I sat late at night and listened to all his worries.In short i was his rock,he told me he loved me and i him.He managed to get his drinking under control.Started to go out and suddenly has a girlfriend,practically moved into the house that i put right for him. I loved (love) him very much,but suddenly was dismissed from his life without warning.I was even going round cleaning and tidying unaware she was coming round later,We have been together for so long that i feel bereft , there is nothing i can do,life does not feel worth living,but i will carry on. I have no wish for revenge or to cause trouble.I just feel so upset that he could just change on me so suddenly and let me down so badly.He feels he has done nothing wrong.We have been through so much,how could he?
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monsoon_nz
May 4th, 2018 at2:47 AMReally sorry to hear this and others in so much pain. When the people in our lives leave us it can be so utterly hard. Bless and I hope your heart has healed since this happened.
I had planned to move overseas and start a new life with the woman of my dreams. She called me one morning to tell me she no longer loved me. This was some time ago. I suppose I still deny it happened somedays. Things can feel unreal.
All my love to the broken hearts here :) -
Mz J
May 9th, 2018 at6:27 PMTo Charlene and anyone that can relate:
I was with a guy for 3.5 years – supported him through so much. Was always there for him – through an important surgery, through alcohol issues, through anxiety, through depression. All this, while being a positive, happy person. I think, as women, we tend to perhaps sub-consciously take on the role of a nurturer. We think that perhaps the man we love deserves all this – and there could be a lot of affection in the relationship, no doubt. But did we ever ask ourselves, what did this guy do to deserve us? What sign of commitment has this person shown? How much has he given? People like that are simply takers. They take, take, take and take. If someone gets up and leaves, let them go. Seriously, I have gone through the worst pain and suffering only to realize that it was my folly. Giving too much, being someone’s rock, giving your best to someone – guard it for someone deserving. Guard it for someone that proves their worth to you. These qualities are precious – have the person earn it before you spread these out for free.
So Charlene, get up. Be strong. Immerse yourself in a hobby – any hobby, anything at all. But know that the guy you cared for is a jerk. He is a selfish jerk who does not deserve your love. You, on the other hand, deserve the very best. You don’t have to force yourself to meet new people – first, just spend time with yourself and heal. But, promise yourself this : Never again, will you allow this to happen. -
Suzanne M.C.
November 20th, 2018 at1:26 PMThank you for your kind words of wisdom.
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Nick
June 19th, 2018 at1:03 PMSo much pain here. My heart aches listening to all this. I too have been recently “let go”. And strangely it hurt. it The relationship wasn’t perfect, but its the best I could do given my circ*mstances. In 2013 I ended it with her but my pain was much less. I guess being dumped is harder. I am suffering and unable to sleep. I really liked this woman very much. But I can honestly say you have to accept it and move on. Moving on doesn’t mean dating someone immediately, it means grieving a little then truly learning about yourself.
Finally, to be hurt means leaving yourself vulnerable. We have to vulnerable to love.
So never stop loving.
Take care. -
Check This Out
July 27th, 2018 at10:58 PMUnderstand the Grieving Process after breakup,not so easy but “Make some time to overcome from breakups” or dump situation
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Check
August 6th, 2018 at2:35 AM(Breakup), it’s hard to win him/her back anymore. and rebound relationship as same before.
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MRC
August 9th, 2018 at4:32 AMWhat a GREAT article! You are so incredibly right! I just find it really interesting that you’ve put in this post.
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James
August 9th, 2018 at7:39 PMI can’t cope with the pain of my break up. Can’t eat or sleep, I feel depressed. Can’t sleep without the sleeping pills. And to make things worse I think I’m getting addicted to them. How can I make myself feel better and sleep better?
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The GoodTherapy.org Team
August 10th, 2018 at6:15 AMHi, James. Thank you for sharing your comment and visiting the GoodTherapy blog. If you would like to consult with a mental health professional, please feel free to return to our homepage, http://www.goodtherapy.org/, and enter your zip code into the search field to find therapists in your area. If you’re looking for a counselor that practices a specific type of therapy, or who deals with specific concerns, you can make an advanced search by clicking here: http://www.goodtherapy.org/advanced-search.html
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samuel
November 20th, 2018 at11:13 AMi just got dumped by my gf it broke my heart
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Vanbox
January 24th, 2019 at12:48 PMOkay, Me right now I don’t know whether we are done with my boyfriend or not. He has been ignoring me for like 17 days, so in the first days I used to send him complaints of why he was bot talking to me yet online on whatsapp then delete the messages after when I am angry…then some days pass and I greet him without any replies yet I could see him online. That really hurt me so much…then he fgot off after sometime, tried to call him but he was not pockig, se t him direct texts but was not replying, used to cry a lot in those firat days..but now I cry less…and I check his chats when he has not said a thing and I don’t cry…I dont know whats wrong with me but I really miss him so much, I even wanted to go to his place without him knowing so that I vould ask his whatsup face to face…but after readig all this I think that ain’t a good idea. I feel like when he qants to talk to me he will…but I am failing to keep this up, I am so sad. I dont know whether that is a sigh of him wanting to breakup with me or not. I need advice. And we have been dating for like 11 months now…coming to a year.
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Leema
June 9th, 2019 at11:10 AMGot dumped 08/06/2019 ,he said you did nothing wrong n you good ,but l have decided to end the relationship ,it was not working for him…took the whole day by myself to heal ,l feel much better after reading the article and comments ,we dated for almost a year.. He dumped me with a text ,,and never seen such wickedness kkkk
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Anon
June 24th, 2019 at1:43 PMI m jst dumped by a person whom i loved tip to toe … amended myself as per his choice but he left me ruthlessly i cant digest it … m broken
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Galahad
July 7th, 2019 at9:49 AMMy partner of 14 years and mother of my 2 young children told me yesterday that she is moving out. Can’t say that I didn’t know that she wasn’t happy, but I am still heart broken.,
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Amanda
August 1st, 2019 at3:20 PMHow to make the pain stop after a break up? Can’t eat or sleep, I feel depressed. How can I make myself feel better and sleep better?
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mary
September 4th, 2019 at1:28 PMAmanda, There is no way to get rid of the pain. You must embrace it to get through it. I started reading about the “Law of Attraction”, it really helps. I wish you well. I am going through the same pain, just dealing with it. Wishing you well!
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Moumita Mallick
January 17th, 2020 at10:03 PMI believe time can heal anything. But sometimes it takes too much time. That you lost your present and future to forget past.. For me, friends will be best to heal your inner pain..
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Rey
January 23rd, 2020 at4:26 AMI’m impressed, I must say. Actually rarely do I encounter a blog that’s each educative and entertaining, and let me tell you, you’ve hit the nail on the head. Your thought is excellent; the difficulty is something that not sufficient individuals are talking intelligently about. I’m very pleased that I stumbled across this in my seek for something relating to this.
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Dev
March 26th, 2020 at10:23 AMYesterday I was dumped over the phone, while I was at work, by my bf of almost a year. Yes, we had our problems like any relationship would. Last week he told me he wanted to break up over the phone (again), however, he came over and we talked through it. I never once begged him to stay with me, I just talked and then I listened. He was the one who decided to keep the relationship going. Yet here I am, a little over a week later, completely broken. I am 25, almost 26, and he just turned 25. This was both our first real relationship. The first time we felt love for someone and was in love with someone. He said he has felt more stressed than happy in our relationship – which I only first heard of last week when he mentioned breaking up the first time. It seemed to have come out of nowhere, when here I was thinking I would marry this man someday. He would always talk about our future too, so I know I wasn’t the only one thinking about our future. Anyway, I’m still hurting and I know I will be for a long time, but this has made me realize I was not always the happiest in our relationship, as well. I was never his first priority (when he was mine), he had trouble making plans with me/for me, it didn’t feel as though he made time for me, he would ‘forget’ to mention important details/plans/life events, he was not very supportive of my anxiety because he’s a very relaxed person and didn’t understand why I was feeling the way I did at times, we had never been away together, and we only saw each other an average of twice (if that) a week. Some of these points may seem petty, but they meant a lot to me during the relationship and I had brought them to his attention. He would always make excuses (he loved saying I was a priority to him, but he also had lots of other priorities). THAT should have been a red flag to me. I deserve all of these things and I do not think they are too much to ask for. I can only hope I will find the right person for me someday, although right now it’s looking pretty bleak. This article has definitely helped and I will refer to it throughout my healing process. Thank you.
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Franca
April 15th, 2020 at7:54 AMLetting go of someone you truly love is one of the most difficult things in the world. Unfortunately, sometime it’s necessary. Since the pain you experience from letting go of someone you love can stop you right in your tracks, you need to take action now if you hope to move forward with your life and find happiness elsewhere. This blog post you shared is really helpful and accurate, letting go is really hard and seems impossible, but with the piece you've created here, you sure have motivated us. Thanks for sharing.
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Paul
June 6th, 2020 at6:36 PM19-month relationship with a woman I believed was “the one.” She demanded vulnerability as a gateway to trust building. I bought in and allowed myself to share fear, doubt, and inadequacy. It felt comforting, and safe, to be in a relationship where I could let the walls and force fields down. I was “in.” I returned home after a week away visiting family, and she ended it, refusing to go to counseling. Wrote her a six-page “give us another chance” letter, addressing her issues, apologizing for what she perceived as controlling behavior and dismissal of her feelings. Her response was to move out and cut all contact with me. I can’t seem to let go. Everywhere I look, I see her presence, her ghost. We used to go here together, there together, visit with those friends together, walk these streets, hike these trails, ski these slopes. And worse, far worse, I see her when I close my eyes. I, like many others have commented, can’t sleep. I still cry everyday. I am exercising regularly and volunteering in the neighborhood park restoration project, but every day, someone innocently asks, “how are you!”, and at those moments, all I can feel is my battered and broken heart. My mantra is “let her go”, and after reading this article, I will add, “she is setting me free.” But it is going to be a long and painful trip.
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Rich P
July 17th, 2020 at1:18 PMI feels better knowing that I am not alone in this matter of being dumped. I’m 50 YO male and had a lot of relationships, all of which ended amicably. After almost 3 years of loving and being loved by a woman, she woke up one day, and just didn’t love me anymore. I was angry, heartbroken, sad, etc, and just couldn’t believe this happened. We had our problems but we always loved each other. I have asked for closure, and explanation and the short excuse she gave me just did not make sense. It is the hardest thing to cope with when you love someone and you think everything is fine and suddenly and quickly they change, they stop caring, they stop missing you, they stop loving you, like a light switch going off. I recently packed up some of her belongings and sent them to her hoping that this would help me to move on and lesson the pain. I just want to move on but its hard when a person gets dumped suddenly after loving the other so much. Seems like impossible or unreal that this happened but it did and I just want to move on. I hope she is happy with her new life. In the end, I never will know why she left. The only thing I know is that she stopped loving me. Heartbreaking experience. I wish everyone a happy and healthy future.
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Birdy1
August 25th, 2020 at11:54 AMAnyone have the experience of having an affair as a married person and being dumped by the person you had the affair with? I couldn’t leave my husband because he is older than me and needs me. But I loved this other guy so much. I knew he wouldn’t wait if he found someone else to love and he did after 5 years of our affair. However he told me in the most appalling way, sending me a one sentence email telling me about the new relationship (although I knew something was going on before this) and then said that he wasn’t dumping me, he still loved me and would be happy to meet once a year. Talk about screwing with my head. There was a load of other unpleasantness when I was obviously upset at the way he dumped me and he became cold and abusive and made out like I was being unreasonable although I made it clear that although I found the new relationship difficult it was the way he told me about it more than anything. This man is a narrative therapist in his working life but probably the most emotionally cold and cruel person I’ve come across in the whole of my life
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Jo
March 10th, 2021 at3:01 AMBeing dumped unexpectantly is great for weight loss. I’m over 10% lighter, nearly 2 sizes smaller… looking and feeling great!
He convinced me to apply for a new job, move into a temporary situation, anticipate for marriage in April and “await” his surprise proposal when he got it together. Not an easy step of faith after 13 years of widowhood. However, he dumped the weekend before the new job and relocation.
I’m stilll rocked by the shock and passing him about at the new workplace. Im kinda getting used to the headspin every time I see him and he shuns me. I’m choosing to embrace the change and the “something better” that God has for me. -
H
May 7th, 2021 at7:01 AMJust know that if you feel sick, betrayed and depressed, that feeling is pretty right. And avoid things like: “You need to man up”, “suck it up”, “be a grown up” and … . These sentences are as garbage as they can be. You must accept these dark feelings and go through them. No amount of avoidance is gonna help us. Just accept it. Swallow the bad tasting medicine and be done with it.
. And even after months or years, if you can’t “forgive”, it’s not your fault. You cannot force yourself to forgive by saying clichés like “hatred is a poison” and stuff like that.
“Forgiveness must happen naturally”. Believe me. I tried to forgive someone who cheated and after that dumped me, it got worst after forgiving, I harmed myself physically because my mind was getting back at me, it thought that she didn’t deserve forgiveness. So it’s not always good to force things. Premature forgiving is going to add more fuel to the depression.
If you can’t forgive at all, you may be right, and you don’t need forgiving that person at all.
Just let it be. That hatred, in time, is going to leave you. You will or will not love anybody like you love that person, but you are going to care and love yourself more…. -
Joe
September 1st, 2021 at6:57 AMIts so easyto read this advise. It also feels like its written for a 20 something. But at 55 it hurts even worse. I was in a relationship for 7 months and she dumped me. No row no argument just said we were at an end. This was a few weeks after declaring she was really into me and missing me when i was not around. What was worse was I had agreed to finish some work on her house as i knew she could not afford to finish it. So i am stillseeing her every few days and we appear to get on. Am i stupid.Maybe. But I never could just leave somebody in the lurch. And im old enough to know you cant force whats not there but seeing her regularly is making me analyse over and over…. Its tough
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Gel
September 11th, 2021 at7:44 PMI just got dumped by my boyfriend. I am 34 and he is 21yrs old. I know the age gap is huge. We were dating for 5months but suddenly he dumped me and said he doesn’t want it anymore. He left with friends for a vacation and we haven’t gotten in touch for a week but he is seeing my instagram stories. His daily clothes are still with me. I love him but he doesn’t want to take me back. The problem is we are living in the same area. We surf in the same surf spot. I saw his stories always sitting beside this girl, which i think like him. What should I do if ever I encounter him? also, he owes me significant amount of money. How can I collect?
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Gel
September 11th, 2021 at9:07 PMThis article is helping me a lot. reading all the pains and struggles that people like me are experiencing. This article is a good avenue to me to express the pain I am feeling. My boyfriend of 5 months suddenly broke up with me and having a 1 week vacation with friends a a girl that I think liked him ever since. His daily clothes are still with me. My dilemma is that I might see him twice or thrice a week as we are in the same city and surf in the same spot. Hope you can give advise on what to do and how to collect a significat money he owes me.
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SEUN AYOADE
November 3rd, 2021 at2:04 AM22 years after breakup [yes TWENTY TWO years] pain is as raw as if it happened yesterday. what drug can i take to erase the pain?
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pink *T
February 5th, 2022 at7:42 AMhe gave me 2 options either he lives without saying good bye or he says bye before he leaves i really felt heart broken when he said he’s leaving i chose the first option we got so close i didn’t notice i fell for him …i feel like a fool for not listening to my heart now his gone and i’m just acting ok……it really hurts-
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Karin
February 23rd, 2022 at2:49 PMThings can only work out in your relationship only if you give chance to the right person to assist you. My love life turned out to be something great after i contacted prophet dumela through his details via email [dumeladgreat@ gmail. com] I still can’t really say what prophet dumela did actually but i can boldly say that the prophet gave my relationship that perfect fixing that my relationship was lacking happiness/love and through this my lover is seeking for me to marry him without wasting no more time.
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Michel
March 23rd, 2022 at6:09 PMThis is the best article I’ve read that relates to closure after getting dumped. Man, this is hard. I’m 60 and haven’t felt this way ever. I read this article everyday and somewhat it helps put things into perspective. And I’ve been all over the internet trying to make sense of all this . No easy way . But thanks for the help…
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Adam
May 22nd, 2022 at11:09 PMAfter 18 years – dumped @ 50. The thing is, I had thought about leaving the relationship for a long time, we just drifted apart over the years. Even still, I couldn’t hurt my partner no matter what, there was (is) too much love there. Then he dumped me. Wow, how on earth can I feel so bad when I felt the same way? Honestly, I should feel lucky because it’s freedom without the guilt, but it still sucks. I can’t sleep, eat, the whole thing – it’s a perpetual punch in the gut. I suppose it’s a loss no matter what, the death of a relationship. After being with someone so long I can’t even picture an alternative life. Like others have said though, you HAVE to just feel it. I truly from the bottom of my heart believe I will never find someone that I love that much, which is probably not true, but it feels like it. I’ll hopefully reply back with an affirmation that the pain not only ends, but you really do find someone who is even more compatible. May everyone in pain find relief.
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