When to introduce your significant other to your parents and friends (2024)

Meet the parents -- eventually.

Millennials (those ages 22 to 37 in 2018) bring their dates home to meet mom and dad after 10 or more dates, or a little more than two months into the relationship on average, according to new data from dating app Hinge. But relationship experts say that’s moving way too fast.

“Don’t introduce anyone to your parents unless it’s a serious, committed relationship,” therapist and relationship expert Rachel Sussman tells Moneyish. “Usually, that’s after at least four or five months.”

Perhaps the tendency for young lovers to introduce their boyfriends and girlfriends to their parents is because they think of their ‘rents more as friends than authority figures; 50% of millennials consider their parents to be their best friends, research suggests. They’re also living at home longer, so having their beau run into mom or dad is inevitable. Fifteen percent of 25- to 35-year-old millennials were living in their parents’ homes in 2016, a much larger share than the 8% of Baby Boomers (born 1946 to 1964) and 10% of Gen Xers (born 1965 to 1979) at the same age, according to thePew Research Center.

SEE ALSO: More than half of millennials say their parents are their best friends

But be warned that your parents’ opinion about a new BF or GF early on in the relationship could influence your perception of a partner in a negative way -- and sabotage a good thing before it even has a chance to start.

“Once you start introducing them to family, judgement starts happening, and it plants a seed of doubt,” Sussman says. “If it’s too early in the relationship, it can make you look at this person differently.”

Breaking the ice and introducing a love interest to friends and family is never easy, but here is some advice on how, when and where to do it.

Meet the friends, first.

Sussman suggests introducing your partner to your friends before your family, but says you should wait at least three months before doing it.

“Once you have determined if your boyfriend or girlfriend seems to be a keeper, you want to see how they’ll behave in a group setting,” she says, suggesting that you ask a partner to come to a casual event like a birthday party or a group dinner. “You want the blessing of your friends first before the parents, because they’ll be really honest. Plus, it’s more of a relaxed setting, so there’s not as much pressure and it feels more organic.”

Don’t first introduce your BF/GF at a family event.

Debuting as a couple to your family is nerve-wracking enough, so don’t pile on the stress by doing so at a major event like a wedding or a family function where extended relatives are invited.

And lay some groundwork before bringing him or her home (again, about four or five months in.) Sussman recommends briefing your immediate family first (mom and dad, and potentially a sibling) on who your partner is, what they do and what they mean to you. “Tell them why your partner is special to you, and that it means a lot that they are accepting,” says Sussman.

Then, choose a comfortable setting to have the first informal meet and greet -- either at home or a casual restaurant.

Don’t rush it.

The average relationship for a millennial lasts just two years and nine months, according to one survey, which found that 23% of people later felt they rushed into coupling too soon. So rocking the boat by getting your family involved too soon could make it end even sooner, warns Sussman.

“You’re really wanting to get to know this person on your own terms, on your own turf,” she says.

It’s worth noting that research shows it takes at least six months to really get to know someone and feel fully comfortable with them, according to Psychology Today.

And it usually takes at least five months of dating before “I love you” is said, a Match.com survey found.

When to introduce your significant other to your parents and friends (2024)

FAQs

When should you introduce your significant other to your family? ›

Research carried out by Slingo in March of this year found that one in three British people believe the 'best time' to introduce your partner to your parents is after three to six months of dating, while 19% think after one month is a better option.

When should you & your partner introduce your parents to each other? ›

While each romantic relationship moves at its own pace, Wyatt Fisher, a clinical psychologist in Boulder, Colo., recommends waiting about three months from when you first started dating to introduce your partner to family members.

How long should you leave it before introducing a new partner to your family? ›

Key points. Waiting until children are ready to meet a new partner improves the chances that the new relationship will succeed. When introducing their children to a new partner, parents should typically wait until the relationship is strong and has lasted 9-12 months. The integration should be gradual.

How long should you wait to introduce your BF to your parents? ›

But relationship experts say that's moving way too fast. “Don't introduce anyone to your parents unless it's a serious, committed relationship,” therapist and relationship expert Rachel Sussman tells Moneyish. “Usually, that's after at least four or five months.”

When should you introduce your partner? ›

Wait to make family introductions until you've been you for at least three to six months. At that point, you've gotten past the honeymoon phase. You're sharing Netflix passwords shou,d each other, you've met each other's introduce, and all signs point whn the potential for a serious relationship.

How long should you date before becoming official? ›

As a rough rule, two months in should be a safe amount of time to broach the subject, Stott said. But every relationship is different, so if it feels right earlier, go for it. If it doesn't feel right at that stage, there are a few steps you can take to build yourself up for the conversation.

What is pocketing in a relationship? ›

Stashing—sometimes referred to as pocketing—is when one person in a relationship makes the conscious decision to hide the other person from his or her inner circle, and yes, that includes both in real life and on social media.

When should I introduce my family to my girlfriend? ›

There's no exact date or time frame that's the most ideal for introducing your SO to the family. A general rule of thumb is that big gatherings like the holidays aren't the best because they're overwhelming, high-stress times for everyone.

How long is the honeymoon phase? ›

The honeymoon phase is an early part of a couple's relationship where everything seems carefree and happy. It usually lasts from six months to two years and can be marked with lots of laughs, intimacy, and fun dates.

What should you not do in early stages of a relationship? ›

The experts weigh in.
  • Coming on too strong. ...
  • Being too rigid in what you want. ...
  • Performing for them. ...
  • Not learning from past relationships. ...
  • Moving too fast. ...
  • Ignoring red flags. ...
  • Posting too much online. ...
  • Not establishing clear boundaries early on.
Nov 19, 2019

How often do new partners hang out? ›

He told Bravo TV, "It's important to stick to twice a week only so that you have plenty of time away from your new date to give your deepest feelings time to percolate up from your subconscious. "These deep feeling are important because they will help you see any issues or problems with your new love interest."

Why hasn't My BF introduced me to his parents? ›

There could be a lot of reasons why he hasn't introduced you, including but not limited to: he doesn't realize how much you want to meet them; he's not very close to his family; he actively loathes his family; his family lives far away or are otherwise inaccessible to an intro, especially during Covid Times; he doesn't ...

How many dates before you discuss a relationship? ›

According to a 2015 dating survey conducted by Time out of 11,000 people worldwide, most couples go on 5 to 6 dates before discussing a relationship, and some take even longer. On average, people need 5-6 dates to make it official.

How many dates before you meet a partner? ›

'' The study of 2,000 adults who say they have already met 'The One', found that women will also go on seven dates - as well as a further two blind dates and two dates with someone they met over the internet. But men will enjoy eight dates, three blind dates and meet three people online.

How many dates before you introduce them to your friends? ›

They say things like, “I really like him, but I think it's too soon to introduce him to my friends and family.” Many "dating experts" even say to wait three months before introducing your date to friends and family.

How many dates before exclusivity? ›

If a couple goes on one date a week, that's anywhere from 10 to 12 dates before they establish exclusivity, according to the survey. Say, schedules allow a couple to see each other more than once a week, that means it could even take 24 dates before exclusivity.

How soon is too soon to talk about exclusivity? ›

If you know they're seeing other people and you'd like them to stop, knowing when to ask to be exclusive can be more complicated. While there are no firm rules, experts suggest waiting at least three months after you start dating someone.

How do you know if your relationship is getting serious? ›

In the most basic sense, a serious relationship is one in which you're completely committed to your partner; you're totally open and honest with one another; you trust each other deeply; and you're on the same page, not only in terms of your values and ethics but about your future together as well.

What is Paperclipping in a relationship? ›

It's called "paperclipping," which describes when an ex reaches out intermittently, not because they're interested in you, but rather to keep you on the back burner as an option. It's similar to breadcrumbing, and it's intentional, often used by narcissists, according to relationship experts.

What is Kittenfishing? ›

What is kittenfishing? As mentioned, kittenfishing is catfishing's younger sister. Essentially, it involves tweaking small details about your appearance or your life to make you appear 'better' on dating apps, as opposed to claiming to be a different person entirely, as in catfishing.

What is cookie jarring? ›

'Cookie jarring' happens when an individual pursues a relationship to have as a back-up plan or security blanket — with no real intention of a long-term relationship.

What is the 3 month rule? ›

People in new relationships should wait three months before thinking long-term. Important discoveries about another are usually made in that three-month period. Don't bother worrying if a man is husband-material until you really know him.

How soon is too soon to say LOVE YOU? ›

Both Cosgrove and Ruiz agree that it's best to say those three special words once you have spent at least three to five months getting to know your partner, where you've likely also talked about future plans you'd like to experience together, whether that be marriage or even just a vacation.

What stage of my relationship am I in? ›

Stages of Relationships by Months

Stage 1: The euphoric stage - 6 months to 24 months (2 years) Stage 2: The early attachment stage - 12 months (1 year) to 60 months (5 years) Stage 3: The crisis stage - 60 months (5 years) to 84 months (7 years) Stage 4: The deep attachment stage - 84 months (7 years) and beyond.

How long does new relationship energy last? ›

New Relationship Energy (NRE) is the strong emotional, physical, and sexual response you have towards someone when you are in a new relationship with them. It starts from initial attraction and can last anywhere from three months to a year.

How long does being in love last? ›

Most couples stop being "in love" after six months, says a recent study. According to Harvard researcher Katherine Wu, PhD, our hormones and brain chemistry are very much altered during the early bonding stages of a relationship, which can be roughly broken down into three categories—lust, attraction, and attachment.

What is the hardest period of a relationship? ›

The first year of the relationship is the hardest stage, and even when you're living together, you still discover new things about each other every day. How to Survive: The key to getting past the discovery stage is also discovery. The discovery of your partner's imperfections and your imperfections as well.

What is 1 thing that destroys a relationship? ›

Relationship Destroyer #1: Keeping Your Attention on What's Wrong. Many people habitually keep their attention on everything negative that their partner does. By focusing on what's wrong, we create thinking habits that generate a sense of unrest and dissatisfaction within ourselves and the relationship.

What are some red flags in an early relationship? ›

15 Dating Red Flag Examples
  • Lovebombing. ‍ ...
  • They Don't Respect Your Boundaries. Everyone has different physical, sexual, and mental boundaries. ...
  • They Check in Frequently. ...
  • They Want You to Always Prioritize Them. ...
  • They're Jealous. ...
  • They Make Fun of You. ...
  • All of Their Exes are Crazy. ...
  • They Don't Have Many Friends.
Aug 24, 2021

What is Breadcrumbing in dating? ›

Breadcrumbing is the act of sending out flirtatious, but non-committal social signals (i.e. "breadcrumbs") in order to lure a romantic partner in without expending much effort. In other words, it's leading someone on.

Should new couples talk everyday? ›

While it's totally fine if you and your boo chat on a daily basis, experts say that — in a healthy relationship — you shouldn't feel obligated to chat seven days a week.

What defines a situationship? ›

A situationship is an uncommitted, undefined romantic relationship between two people—meaning that those in this type of relationship have not established what they are to each other. While it may share some similarities with a friends-with-benefits relationship, the two terms do not mean the same thing.

Do you introduce the man or woman first? ›

First, introduce men and boys to women and girls; and younger people to older people. In translation, this means to mention first the name of the person to whom you're making the introduction. (When the introduction involves two people of the same sex and approximately the same age, the order doesn't matter.)

Is it rude to not introduce your partner? ›

Not introducing yourself or other people is rude and it is uncomfortable for the ignored parties. Making introductions is an important aspect of social and business interactions. It shows respect to the people around you.

Do you introduce a woman to a man or a man to a woman? ›

Abbott.” Tradition dictates that if introducing a man and a woman of equal status (either in business or social situations) you speak to the woman first. Likewise, age takes precedence—speak to the older person first.

What is the talking stage before a relationship? ›

Even if you've never heard of the “talking stage,” there's still a not-small chance you've been in one. The apparently Gen-Z-coined phrase is a vague descriptor for an early pseudo-relationship full of texting and talking—and maybe even full-blown dates and hookups—but no commitment.

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