When The Caregiver Needs To Become The Bill Payer As Well (2024)

After publicly chronicling a three-year Alzheimer's caregiver journey with my mother, questions now come in weekly, sometimes daily, from others starting their own journey with this crazy disease. One the things that shocked me the most at the beginning of ours was how much we didn't know and how little we really understood the disease and the process. We had no idea how or where to start.

Periodically, I'll post one of those questions and not only tell you how we handled the situation, but also give you more resources to pull from. The more information you have, the less taxing it is. It doesn't make it any easier but it does allow you to focus your energies on taking care of your loved one - and - yourself.

From Jennifer: Hi Dayna, I have a question for the reigning Alzheimer's support expert. My Mom is now taking care of her younger sister who is suffering from Alzheimer's. She's still pretty early in the decline but there are already problems. She is not paying her bills. My parents have power of attorney and could take it over but Barb still wants to be more independent. Problem is there is a bunch of debt piling up with fees and the like. Do you know of any financial groups or advocates who help people with diseases like Alzheimer's negotiate better rates, help with payment plans, anything like that? Any suggestions would be appreciated.

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Dear Jennifer: We were lucky with money in that Mom really didn't want to be bothered with the accounts. Once my Dad started to have strokes, she was happy to let me take it over. Eventually I had to take her checkbook away. I know I told her a therapeutic fib about the bank issuing new checks or some story like that. It's important to remember it is not going to get better, only worse, and the sooner you can take over many things, the better in the long run.

Here are some good resources to learn from:

____________________________________________________

Please join in the conversation below if you have suggestions for Jennifer. If you need more information on this subject, never hesitate to reach out to me. If you have a question, same thing. You can leave a message here or reach me through my website. Caring For A Parent Support Group is also a wealth of information.

The most important thing is to realize you are not in this alone - and together - we will survive.

Dayna Steele is the Chief Caring Expert for Caring.com and the author of Surviving Alzheimer's with Friend, Facebook, and a Really Big Glass of Wine. See her Alzheimer's speech presentation on YouTube.

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When The Caregiver Needs To Become The Bill Payer As Well (2024)

FAQs

What is the most important thing for caregiving? ›

7 Essential Caregiver Skills
  • Compassion. Caregiving is about more than simply offering a helping hand. ...
  • Selflessness. Caregiving is a selfless profession. ...
  • Patience. Patience is a virtue, especially for caregivers. ...
  • Time Management and Organization. ...
  • Reliability. ...
  • Communication. ...
  • Problem-Solving.

What are the three most important qualities of a caregiver? ›

Given the nature of their job, truly great caregivers are naturally dependable, compassionate, and trustworthy. They should be able to empathize with the needs of their patients and identify them even before their families do.

What is the financial burden of a caregiver? ›

“But it's not enough to pay for someone's whole life.”According to a 2021 study commissioned by AARP Research more than three-quarters of family caregivers incur some costs, with the average out-of-pocket expense at more than $7,200 a year.

Can I charge my mother for her care? ›

This is possible, but only after a Court of Protection order has been obtained to make sure that the conflict of interest between relative and the carer is managed. For such an application, a care needs assessment must be undertaken, showing what care is needed and the remuneration the carer would be entitled to.

What are the weaknesses of a caregiver? ›

Some of these challenges a family caregiver faces are:
  • Managing their time. Caregivers often find they have less time for themselves and other family members. ...
  • Emotional and physical stress. ...
  • Lack of privacy. ...
  • Financial strain. ...
  • Sleep deprivation. ...
  • Being afraid to ask for help. ...
  • Depression and isolation.
Oct 14, 2015

What are the five responsibilities of caregivers? ›

Basic caregiver duties could include:
  • Bathing and grooming.
  • Laundry and helping with dressing.
  • Food shopping and prep.
  • Light housekeeping.
  • Managing medications.
  • Transportation.
  • Mobility assistance.
  • Companionship and emotional support.

What to do and not to do as a caregiver? ›

Don't withhold care

As a caregiver, it is easy to sometimes feel frustrated, or not in the mood to do a certain task. If you are experiencing these symptoms of burnout, it is important you seek additional support for yourself, and to ensure that your loved one receives the care they need when they need it.

What is a good sentence for a caregiver? ›

He is a caregiver for his autistic son. She is able to take care of her husband at home with the help of several caregivers. Unless you have been a caregiver or a close family member or friend to someone with Alzheimer's, it's hard to really understand what it's like.

What attitude for you must a caregiver have? ›

A good caregiver is patient, compassionate, and empathetic. They must be able to deal with difficult situations calmly and be able to put the needs of their patients first. Good caregivers also have excellent communication skills and are able to build relationships of trust with their patients.

What is the most burdensome cases of caregiving? ›

Family or informal caregiver burden results from the multiple physical, psychological, social, and financial stressors associated with caregiving. Burden is particularly high in neurodegenerative diseases, given the progressive disability that occurs.

Do family caregivers have a right to compensation? ›

Some states and counties provide stipends, reimbursem*nt, or other forms of compensation for family caregivers. If you serve as caregiver for a child who has a disability and is related to you, but who is not your biological or adopted child, you may qualify for subsidized guardianship benefits.

Am I financially responsible for my mother? ›

Filial laws require children to provide for parents' basic needs such as food, housing, and medical care. The extent of filial responsibility varies by state, along with conditions that make it enforceable including the parent's age and the adult child's financial situation.

What happens to senior citizens when they run out of money? ›

Seniors who reside in an assisted living facility and run out of funds will be evicted. Elderly individuals who are unable to turn to family for financial support and have no money can become a ward of the state. This may be the case if the senior develops a health emergency and is no longer able to live alone.

Can I pay someone to care for me? ›

Employing your own carer

Instead of using an agency, you can hire your own carer, sometimes called a private carer or personal assistant. If you employ a paid carer, you have the legal responsibility of an employer. This includes arranging cover for their illness and holidays.

What are the important skills that a caregiver should have and why? ›

Empathy, patience, kindness and respect. An understanding of different clients' needs. Communication skills necessary to interact with a variety of clients and their families. Ability to effectively manage the demands of the job.

What is the hardest part of a caregiver? ›

What is the Most Difficult Part of Care Work? 20 Difficult Parts of Care Work!
  • Lack of Respect From Your Peers.
  • Hospital Politics.
  • Coping With Your Own Bodily Fluids.
  • Outdated Technology.
  • Patient's Families Acting as the Expert.
  • The Pressure to Know Everything.
  • Drug-addicted or Vulnerable Patients.

What is the most challenging role of a caregiver? ›

Answer and Explanation: Caregiving can be stressful, physically and emotionally demanding, and time-consuming. The main challenges that caregivers face are providing quality care while managing other aspects of their life, such as work or family.

Why are caregiving skills important? ›

The skills of a caregiver are necessary so that the patient receives the best care possible. Caregivers should also take the time to manage their own emotional, physical, and mental needs as well. You must be mentally and physically healthy before caring for someone else.

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