A great first date can make you feel ecstatic, like you can throw all social boundaries and rules right out the window and start texting in the middle of the night. But sending follow-up texts is a subtle art that you might want to practice and master.
While most people are more preoccupied with “when” to contact the person they are interested in, the focus should rather be on “what” to text after a first date. As long as you are not taking too much time with that first text, you have nothing to worry about.
In general, you should go with your instinct and don’t overthink this process. Still, the following ideas might be useful when in doubt.
Who should be the first to text after your date?
There are no rules about who should make the first move after a date. The nice thing to do is to send a text, no matter how your date went. After all, you both took the time to meet with each other and did your best to have a good time.
If you receive a text, don’t forget to reply. If you don’t, feel free to take the lead, especially if the other person set up the date. You don’t need to stress yourself over what to text after a first date, a simple, short message would do. You can say “ Thank you for today/tonight/last night. It was great to meet / talk to you.”
When to text after a first date?
Usually, you could consider texting on the same day of your date, as a courtesy. It is considerate to say something, even if you keep it short.
- For evening or night dates, wait until the next morning to send a message:
“ Thank you for last night, I had a great time! Have a good day!”
- If you met in the afternoon, before 5 pm, you could text that same evening or the following morning: “ Thanks for a great date! Have fun at (whatever they said they were doing) this evening.”
- If you went on a morning date, texting later that afternoon or evening is appropriate: “ How was the rest of your day? Did you… (mention whatever plans they said they had to show you listened)?”
- Text when you find something interesting to say. Otherwise, your date might find it annoying to answer all your trivial messages.
Set your own pace and don’t feel compelled by any so-called “rules”. Just be honest and natural about it and the other person will be glad to hear from you.
How often should you text after the first date?
Texting someone excessively could become irritating and tiresome, especially for people you’ve only met once. Wait for the recipient of your message to respond before you consider sending another one. You wouldn’t want to seem desperate or annoying, particularly if you are planning to go on a second date.
Exchanging texts after your first date should be a fun experience for both participants. Whenever you are uncertain about texting too much, you could check and see how many messages you sent without getting a reply. Allow your date to answer so you could have a conversation, not a monologue.
What to text after a first date?
It’s only natural to feel nervous about texting a person whom you connected with and would like to see again. Here are some helpful examples for follow-up options after your first date.
- Be cool about it
When you text after a first date, keep it fun and simple. Try not to be too intense or overwhelm the other person with compliments.
Keep the strong feelings to yourself, but feel welcome to say you enjoyed spending time with them. Try, for instance, “ It was great to meet you today. Would be great to see you again. “
Moreover, wait for replies and let the conversation flow freely.
- Be aware of the message length
The length of exchanged messages is an easy way to determine if the interest is mutual.
When you receive short replies to long, complex texts it’s time you changed the tone.
Use casual style and language, especially when it comes to what to text a guy after a first date. And if you chose a speedy coffee date, then go for a brief follow-up text, too.
“I had a great time yesterday. Would love to hang out again sometime soon. Interested in going to that Thai place you mentioned?” could work quite nicely.
- Rely on your sense of humor
Making each other laugh is a great way to connect and a powerful tool in the dating world. In your texts, you could joke about something that came up in your conversations during the date.
“ Last night was super fun.” (use an inside joke from your date)
“ That was so funny when… “ (recount something that made you both laugh)
- Casually suggest a second date
Modern dating doesn’t really leave room for hesitations, so if you actually hit it off, don’t waste any time before you lock in a second date. Rather than playing games, show initiative and let your potential partner know that you would like to go out again.
And if you don’t feel inspired, you could always opt for classic dates or go on some fun virtual dates that take the pressure off. Either way, make sure to suggest both an activity and a date, something like:
“I’ve been meaning to check out that new Italian restaurant. Why don’t we head over there Thursday night?” or
“Are you free this Friday? I’d love to take you to this wonderful street food festival.”
- Text according to the situation
- Your first date went well - you can be funny and flirty at the same time. Use what you learnt during your encounter.
Try texting “Well that was fun. Thanks for such a great night. Love that you… “ (relate to something you remember from your time together)
- You don’t know exactly how you feel - don’t bring up the date, don’t lie and keep an open mind about a second date. You can make a decision afterwards.
Be sweet, but brief: “ Great to meet you. Looking forward to getting to know you more. Catch a movie next time?”
- You are not sure how your date feels - consider being honest, yet not too pushy. Don’t ask what they think of your first date. Practice a light, neutral tone:
“ Thank you for tonight. I enjoyed getting to know you.”
- Text even if you don’t want a second date - rejection is not very pleasant, but ghosting is worse. Be sincere, but polite:
“ Thank you for taking the time to meet up, but don't think this feels like the best fit for me. I wish you well!”
What you should definitely NOT text after a first date
Being aware of the DON’Ts is as important as knowing what to text after a first date.
- Don’t text or ask the other person to send you a message to know they got home safely. This can come off a bit parental, which is a mood killer.
- Avoid texting “ Good night” or “Good morning”. It is way too early for such an adorable behavior.
- Don’t use pickup lines if you decide to text after your first date. Playing hard to get is not always as attractive as you might think. If you have something to say to your date or want to meet up again, be honest and clear in your message.
- Last, but not least, don’t even consider sexting. It will make you look desperate or like you’re moving too fast.
