Sympathy Card Etiquette - Plant Memorial Tree (2024)

There are a few simple rules regarding the sending of sympathy cards that you should follow, in order to avoid a social faux pas or worse, hurting someone’s feelings.

Timing of Sympathy Cards

You should send a note of condolence as soon as possible after someone dies, or at least as soon as possible after you have received notification of it. Do not allow too much time to elapse or you will appear to be callous or insincere.

Where to Send a Sympathy Card

You should normally send a sympathy card to the person who is most closely related to the deceased. If uncertain, send it to the first person who is listed in the obituary, after the words “survived by.” If, however, you did not know the person who died, then simply send it to the family member or friend that you do know.

This is often the case when a friend or co-worker’s family member who you did not know or maybe only met once passes on. It’s best to send card to that friend or co-worker, since they are the one you are showing your concern for; not some stranger you have never met who won’t even recognize the name on the envelope.

Even though you will most likely want to send a pre-printed card that already has some sort of expression of condolences, it is customary to add a personalnote inside. However, when signing the sympathy card, always useyour full name, even though you may know the recipient very well. They may get so many cards that it can become confusing for them, especially in their time of grief.

Situations to Avoid

If the loss has left the family in a financial bind and you want to help out, that’s quite admirable. However, sending a check or any kind of money with a sympathy card is a big no-no. Quietly inquire as to whether a fund has been set up where you may make a donation. If one has not been set up yet and you are close to the family, you can be very helpful by assisting in setting it up for them.

If you had any sort of dispute or disagreement with the deceased, let bygones be bygones, and by all means, don’t bring it up in your sympathy note.

Avoid bringing up any details around the person’s death, like saying “I always knew that car would be the death of him” or “I can’t believe that driver didn’t even stop,” as this will only serve to open fresh wounds. Concentrate on the positive things about the person’s life and your good memories of them.

When picking out a condolence card, be aware of the family’s religious preferences and be respectful of them. Unless you share the same faith, avoid cards with strong religious overtones attributable to one faith or another.

Sympathy Card Etiquette - Plant Memorial Tree (2024)

FAQs

What do you say when giving a memorial tree? ›

Memorial Message Suggestions
  1. May this serve as a living tribute to {her/his} memory.
  2. Who left this world a better place.
  3. To a life well lived.
  4. 'til we meet again, my friend.
  5. Your memory will live on as this tree blossoms and grows.
  6. Praying for your strength and resilience. ...
  7. We are so sorry for your loss.

What should not be in a sympathy card? ›

What not to write in a sympathy card
  • “You will…”
  • “You should…”
  • “I know exactly how you feel.”
  • “He was too young…”
  • “It's for the best.”
  • “They're in a better place now.”
  • “You can always remarry” or “You'll meet someone else.”
  • “At least they lived a long life.”

What is the proper etiquette for addressing sympathy cards? ›

Use formalities. Show respect by using Mr., Miss, Mrs., or other appropriate forms of address. Be sure to also include proper grammar and spelling throughout the card. Your condolence message can also be more meaningful by recalling a fond memory of the deceased.

What can I put in sympathy instead of flowers? ›

10 Perfect Alternatives to Sympathy Flowers
  • Ideas for meal help after a loved one dies. ...
  • Donating a memorial book to a library. ...
  • Housekeeping Service. ...
  • Gift Card for a Spa Service. ...
  • Grief Support Book. ...
  • Journal for Grief. ...
  • Memorial Candle. ...
  • Personalized Memorial Ornament.
Jan 5, 2022

Is a tree a good sympathy gift? ›

Planting a tree as a memorial gift is a thoughtful way to express your sympathy and allow the memory of someone special to live on.

What does it mean when a memorial tree is planted? ›

A memorial tree is a physical reminder that their legacy continues even after their physical body is gone. Whether you're planting a tree for your own friend or family member or for someone close to you who has lost a loved one, The Gifted Tree is a meaningful tribute to a life well lived.

Should I send flowers to someone grieving? ›

There is no wrong time to send sympathy flowers to a grieving family. Even if you only found out about the news after funeral services have already taken place, you can still send a thoughtful arrangement to the family's home, no matter how much time has passed.

Is it rude to put money in a sympathy card? ›

How do you properly give money to a grieving family member? Tucking cash or a check inside a sympathy card is a great way to offer support. Include a check if you mail the card. You may only want to include cash if you present the card to the family at the visitation or funeral.

What is the difference between a sympathy card and a condolence card? ›

“Condolence” is an expression of sympathy as a whole, whereas “sympathy” is the feeling of sorrow you experience when learning of a death that impacts someone you know. While you send condolences or messages of sympathy, your sympathy message should highlight your feeling of sorrow for the person's loss.

When should you not send a sympathy card? ›

Is it ever too late to express your sympathy to someone who has suffered a loss? If you're trying to follow proper etiquette, it's best to send a note, gift or flowers within two weeks of the funeral. However, you can do it later, as long as you feel it would be helpful rather than painful.

Should a sympathy card be addressed to both Mr and Mrs? ›

Answer: You are absolutely correct. The card and envelope should be addressed to both.

Do you put your name on a sympathy card? ›

When signing the sympathy greeting card, be sure to always include your last name. No matter how close you are, there could be others who have your same first name.

What color flower means sympathy? ›

White - White is the traditional color of funeral flowers, as well as sympathy flowers. The color white evokes feelings of peace, innocence, and honor. White flowers are suitable for any funeral occasion.

What is a grief flower? ›

Chrysanthemums. The chrysanthemum, or mum, makes a wonderful choice when mourning with a family that has ties to Europe or Asia. China, Korea and Japan use white chrysanthemums to symbolize grief.

What happens when you plant a tree in memory of someone? ›

Yes, planting trees can honor an individual, commemorate an event, memorialize a loved one or even a pet. Every tree is a living legacy – a gift which will grow stronger year after year – and a unique way to express your feelings. No other gift lasts as long, and yields so many benefits.

Why do people plant trees when someone dies? ›

One special way is to plant a tree in their memory. Planting a tree helps us fill the void left after the funeral and Shiva period has ended. Symbolic and heartfelt, this ceremony is a powerful way to remember someone—both now and into future generations.

What is a nice tree to plant in memory of someone? ›

One of the most popular remembrance trees is the oak tree. The oak is a symbol of strength and longevity. It can live for centuries and is considered the king of trees! The oak shows off its lively red and burgundy leaves in the Fall and is a beautiful site to see.

Why is planting trees considered to be a blessing? ›

Planter's work is a blessing because the human beings can get food from the plant's sap and leaves. Answer: The man's hand holds the future progress of mankind. Our land will become barren without trees. The growth of the universe is possible only by planting trees.

Why do we plant a tree as a gift? ›

By gifting a tree, you will help to: Provide jobs to minimize poverty in local communities. Improve climate change resilience & mitigation. Restore forest cover to improve food security.

Do you need permission to plant a memorial tree? ›

Whether you choose private or public land to plant a memorial tree, you'll need the permission of the landowner.

Is it better to send flowers or a plant for a funeral? ›

While most people choose to express their condolences by sending sympathy flowers to the family of the deceased, some types of gifts can also be appropriate. Potted plants, such as orchids, peace lilies, and dish gardens, are a welcome and suitable choice.

What is the etiquette for sending sympathy flowers? ›

There are no rules for timing the delivery of flowers, but it's good to get them to the bereaved as soon as possible—either at home, to the house of worship, or to the funeral home in time for the visitation or funeral.

Do you put money in a card for a memorial service? ›

Many surviving loved ones and attendees place cash in sympathy cards and then drop off those cards at the funeral or memorial service. If the immediate family requested donations for a specific charity, cause or organization, you should not make your gift in cash directly to the family.

Do you address sympathy card entire family? ›

If you know the deceased, then address your condolences to the closest living relative such as their wife/husband or eldest child. If you do not know the deceased but your friend or relative was a close friend or relative of them, then address your condolences to them.

How much money should you give for condolences? ›

A general rule of thumb is that donations should be in line with the cost of a bouquet of funeral flowers. Even just a nominal donation for people on tight budgets is a welcome gesture. Funeral flowers tend to cost in the range of $50 to $80 for a moderate to well-sized bouquet, and $100 or more for a large wreath.

Do people still give money in sympathy cards? ›

Although it may seem too easy to give money since you don't have to spend time picking out something special, it is often the most appreciated gift of all. In addition to funeral expenses, there may be other things that the survivors need, particularly if the deceased was a primary or partial breadwinner in the family.

Is it better to say sympathy or condolences? ›

Condolences is the more common form of the word, and should be used when expressing your sympathy at someone's loss. pity, compassion, commiseration, condolence, sympathy mean the act or capacity for sharing the painful feelings of another.

How long after a death is it too late to send a sympathy card? ›

While proper etiquette dictates that sympathy cards are ideally sent within two weeks after a death, it is never too late to send someone a sympathy card or note to express your heartfelt feelings of condolence for their loss.

How long do you leave sympathy cards up for? ›

There are no expiration dates on sympathy cards, but sending one more than a month after the death may not be the best choice.

Do you include the spouse on a sympathy card? ›

If you are writing the card to a friend, you may address it to your friend and their spouse or your friend and their family as in: John and Mary Smith or Mary Smith and family.

How much money do you give at a funeral? ›

How Much Should You Give? The traditional gift is the amount you would have spent on flowers for the service, generally between $50 and $100.

What flower symbolizes remembrance of a loved one? ›

Poppy. Poppies are recognized worldwide as a symbol of respect and remembrance. They are often used to honor and remember those who have served their countries.

What does 3 white roses mean? ›

Three roses symbolizes the three words everyone loves to listen, “I love you”. Perfect for: Anniversary, birthday or just a simple surprise to your significant other. 6 ROSES. Six roses signify an infatuation, a need to be loved or cherished.

What flower symbolizes peace after death? ›

The Peace Lily has been long thought to promote harmony, innocence, peace, and purity after death. In Latin, the term Spathiphyllum translates to "peace and prosperity." Peace Lilies can be described as having star-shaped white flowers with rich green leaves.

What plant represents the death of a loved one? ›

Chrysanthemums are widely noted to be a flower symbolic of death. They are flowers that you can include in an arrangement for a funeral service or send a bouquet of for someone who is grieving.

What is a remembrance flower? ›

The poppy was adopted as the official memorial flower of the VFW at its national convention in Seattle, Wash., in August 1922, following the first nationwide distribution of poppies ever conducted by any Veterans organization.

What is the classic funeral flower? ›

The lily is the flower most commonly associated with funeral services as they symbolize the innocence that has been restored to the soul of the departed. The white lily expresses majesty and purity, where as white stargazer lilies specifically symbolize sympathy.

What is a good donation message? ›

Dear [Donor Name], Today, I'm writing to ask you to support [cause]. By donating just [amount], you can [specific impact]. To donate, [specific action]. Thank you for joining [cause's] efforts during this [adjective] time—It's supporters like you that help us change the world every day.

What do you say when making a donation in someone's name? ›

I made a donation to [organization name] in your name — I know how much this means to you!” “You inspired me to make a gift to [organization name] in your name this year.

How do I give a tree as a gift? ›

With Give-A-Tree® Cards, you can give a gift that lasts a lifetime. Each card you purchase plants a tree in honor of your family, friends, customers or associates—helping to bring our Nation's Forests back to life.

What is a quote for trees? ›

"Trees are poems that the earth writes upon the sky." "On the last day of the world I would want to plant a tree." "All our wisdom is stored in the trees." "In a forest of a hundred thousand trees, no two leaves are alike.

What else can I say instead of in loving memory? ›

"Forever in our hearts." “Gone but never forgotten.” 'Finally at peace." “The best is yet to come.”

What do you write in a donation card in memory of someone? ›

Your card to the survivors should express sympathy, a comment about a positive memory of the deceased, and a message that you contributed to the requested charity. You might want to consider adding a tree or other living thing that the surviving family members can plant in honor of their loved one.

Can you plant a tree in memory of someone? ›

Planting a tree in memory of someone is becoming an increasingly popular way to remember the loved ones we've lost. They're a beautiful, long-lasting representation of a life once lived and can be planted in a place close to home or somewhere more sentimental where it can be visited by friends and family.

What does a tree symbolize as a gift? ›

As noted, trees are deeply symbolic, often used to represent life, beauty, growth, family, strength, renewal, abundance, and much more. The rich meaning combined with the natural beauty of the tree make it a truly unique wedding gift.

What are some plant quotes? ›

"Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant." "A beautiful plant is like having a friend around the house." "A man doesn't plant a tree for himself. He plants it for posterity."

What is the saying on tree of life? ›

I'm planting a tree to teach me to gather strength from my deepest roots.” “Sorrow is knowledge: they who know the most must mourn the deepest o'er the fatal truth, the Tree of Knowledge is not that of Life.” “I see You, Every time I look into Buddha's eyes.

What is the slogan of planting trees? ›

4 Best Slogans on Trees

Plant a green tree and live younger. Save a tree and save the air from pollution. Protect your Earth, Protect the Greenery. Help the birds build a nest, plant a tree.

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