I have yet to comment but I find this topic intriguing.
I support the article and pray that those “non-virgins” and tattooed women (and men) don’t have issues of shame or unforgiveness. This article is not for you. And this comment too may not be for you.
This article is for virgins unmarried that would get married to, possibly, their equal a virgin. And yes, they ought present their best selves with much self respect.
Here, I’ll be speaking of/for the 60 to 80 percent of men that do not act on sexual temptations with others (they masturbat* instead) while they study crafts and trades (or perhaps a college degree) and develop themselves for marriage. They often marry the 60 percent of women, roughly speaking, that do have some or vast sexual experiences or experience. Those women would be engaging sexually with the 20% of unscrupulous and swindling men.
Very often, in my experience in the UK and USA, its the case that the woman has had vast sexual experience(s) and the husband has had little to no experience. These girls often start at 18 years old and while not always the case, from a divorced family they start some a few years earlier.
These women get married at, perhaps, age 25 and after a brief 2 years they then withhold sex from their husbands. That is because they’ve had 7 to 10 years of sexual experience behind them with multiple partners. I feel the need to not get gratuitous in sexual description but consider that these women have had 5 or 8 Honey Moons in homes, apartments, cars and Hotels for days and hours where unscrupulous men pay for all the meals and the transportation, the housing. Then this woman finds herself trying to build a home, granted with stress, with a husband that desires sex from her, rightfully so every other day. Would you not say her “de-flowering” from a decade prior would have an affect of annoyance toward her husband?
A husband that had been a virgin or a non-virgin with mere “clumsy” unfulfilling sexual experiences of the past – this man wants to give up on his marriage because he would feel that she’s lived a lifetime without him and doesn’t care for him – that nothing could be special between them. As reported from my clients and the men I hear from.
This could be from the enemy or the devil but nonetheless they are extant feelings.
Scriptures say the devil comes to steal, kill and destroy.
I would say in Modern societies this less than ideal marriage situation can happen with rampant divorce and abandoned daughters left to be cared for by multiple boyfriends.
In many cultures there exist Arranged-marriages and/or there exist a No-dating policy through age 18 or 20 which by then a great foundation has been set up. This is often not the case in America where mothers and fathers are not even in the house when the kids are in their teenage years; those impressionable teenage years (with work and other priorities). I must say that public schooling does vast damage to boys and girls in regard to their sexuality and in these days, their sexual identity.
A young chap comes to realize, maybe some women too come to realize, that their partner has technically been in two or three marriages (so to speak) with the many Boyfriends or Girlfriends over the years prior to marriage. Again, it would appear that nothing is special for their partner.
The devil can use these past sins to wreak havoc and cause discord in a marriage.
As for dating and the current culture, could you imagine being a guy who has to spend money to merely date 3 women in search of his wife. He spends hours planning and comes to the table with 10s or 100s of euros/dollars over the span of weeks to date and, mind you, not to have pre-marital sex with a woman/women that has already had 10+ sexual partners?
Not too romantic, I’d say.
If made into a movie all people both genders would be repulsed to see a woman having sex with multiple partners then play coy for a earnest guy, yet this is the reality for many, its unspoken.
Once you marry, sure there is love and romance but it takes supernatural power from heaven and being washed/cleansed with blood.
Heb 9:22 “in fact, the law requires that nearly everything be cleansed with blood, and without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”
If you find yourself here as the unchastened Wife, again please don’t believe that a previously “uninformed” or unknowing groom sits around thinking about his wife’s ex-partners many hours per day. No, and there is love for their partner. You are loved so no need to fall into depression. Although every now and again this spouse can get pangs of painfully feelings of the past when situations are trying, as in say when there is an argument or upheaval in the family. His thought would be “could my wife be a different person with patience and understanding for me had she been a chaste (as in Chastity and celibacy) woman?”
In all this he can and likely still loves you.
Now you need to respect him. Eph 5:33.
You are loved and there are good times, many.
Young women and virgins, I say save yourselves to be the best that you can offer. This shows you understand and have self respect. To not be jaded, sexually satiated and scorned many times over before you even give marriage a chance.
When a man is going through trying times in his life and career, the last thing that he wants is a cagey/distrustful battle axe of a woman (even at age 25) with little patience, by his side. He wants a soft and gentle prudent virgin coming to him to bear children and endure the struggles life gives.
A man wants a woman that can cook and clean for him and the children. I submit, if a woman has spent 10 years having sex with strangers, she likely doesn’t sew and mend, cook, clean or give back rubs (bless her heart).
I challenge one to test the cooking culinary skills of young women age 18-25 at any university across the world today. Those female students would fail miserably. Yet they could consult on sexual topics and experiences that would disgust any traditionalist of today or past generations. You will always have corrupt people, please do not be one of those types.
Again, you are not worthless if you have a tattoo, were not a virgin or brought debt into a marriage from a worthless College degree. This is for the girls henceforth, going forward.
Some un-chastened Women get defensive and blame the innocent partner. Saying, “oh, its your fault for allowing the Devil to control your thoughts of my past sin.”
Or more corrosively saying “are you jealous?”.
The first part, we must take thoughts captive – yes those very thoughts of our partner in the back seats of cars or in living situations with others that didn’t find them special enough to marry.
But don’t blame the innocent harshly for not taking the many thoughts (your sexual past) captive; it is difficult. What with how many partners you’ve had and with little to no self respect. Thank God you are saved and redeemed. One ought make best attempts to not blame shift.
The second part, no he is not jealous. You miss the point, your Spouse would be disgusted – not jealous. He’s not pondering “I’d wished I had 18 known partners and 5 unknown partners due to alcohol” – no, not at all, else he’d have formed into a different person. Further, a chap is disgusted when he hears your past partners’ name(s) or, worse, meets them at, perhaps, a Family reunion bc the said “Boyfriend” is such a great friend to the family. It happens quite often, unfortunately. Most certainly there’s some feeling of discomfort and repulsiveness. It is not the chap’s fault, so be delicate, if at all possible.
These topics are not new ones, they’ve been discussed extensively if one knows where to find them. Philosophers for centuries have discussed the virtues of women (ie King Solomon thoughts) and men for generations. That this has gone viral, as they say, means you are excited likely due to being easily offended by such wholesome advice for young women that in good cultures was the very sustaining advice for that good culture, think for example, clean and decent western european cultures and/or clean and decent jewish cultures. Their women and men, both, would reflect this decency and respect for themselves and all.
Father God himself sought out that there would be a virgin birth (the need for a Virgin) hence there must be some meaningful message there. Selfishness and corruption in cultures of the World and within our marriages can end those dreams of virginity very quickly.
And quickly let us consider the widow. A man would glow to have a widow, would utterly fawn over her, even with 3 children if he could know that she was a virgin going into her one and only marriage and that she found it critically important to remain chaste or pure after her husband’s death.
With divorced women today, we find that their divorce is or can often be seen as a license to go to Las Vegas or Monte Carlo Monoco. Or they vacation on a cruise ship. There they acquire more sex partners. Or they simply choose sex partners from the Devil’s internet dating Apps. No commitments whatsoever. Don’t do it, it will corrupt your soul.
I pray to Father God in Heaven that this message is received well and by only those that ought read it.
