Husband Mad At Wife For Not Giving His Parents Money, Gets Wake-Up Call From The Internet (2024)

Husband Mad At Wife For Not Giving His Parents Money, Gets Wake-Up Call From The Internet (1)

Relationships

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Mo’ money, mo’ problems,” The Notorious B.I.G sang in 1997, which may have seemed ludicrous to anyone with financial issues. But as many adults have quickly learned, family finances and managing who is the breadwinner has its own deep set of pitfalls.

One man asked the internet if he really was in the wrong for demanding that his highly-paid wife take care of his parents. She earns a lot more than he does and already gives her own parents some extra cash, so it wouldn’t be too hard, he reasoned. The people of the internet instead had no sympathy, as he quickly learned.

Talking about money with your spouse can be a touchy topic

Image credits: Prostock-studio (not the actual photo)

A husband wanted his well-paid wife to financially take care of his parents, as he thought it was her responsibility

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Image credits: KostiantynVoitenko (not the actual photo)

He gave a few more details after some reader questions

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Husband Mad At Wife For Not Giving His Parents Money, Gets Wake-Up Call From The Internet (2)

Husband Mad At Wife For Not Giving His Parents Money, Gets Wake-Up Call From The Internet (3)

Justin Sandberg

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Justin Sandberg

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I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

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Husband Mad At Wife For Not Giving His Parents Money, Gets Wake-Up Call From The Internet (4)

Husband Mad At Wife For Not Giving His Parents Money, Gets Wake-Up Call From The Internet (5)

Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Author, BoredPanda staff

I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.

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LooseSeal's $10 Banana

LooseSeal's $10 Banana

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7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017
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I'll never understand people who get into marriage and continue to view things (especially money) as mine/yours. My wife and I together own our house and our cars. Our money is in our bank accounts. If and when the time comes to help our parents we'll do what needs to be done. Too many people today take the step of marriage too lightly.

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Desiree Meredith

Desiree Meredith

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7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017
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I know ... They're like legally bound roommates, not partners.

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DrBronxx

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7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017
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I'd say ESH. He sounds entitled, she comes off as heartless. I feel so bad for his parents.

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7 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017
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I'm on the fence, here, too. It sounds as if they have separate accounts, which may protect her money, but it puts a strain on him. For example, he has to save up for her expensive gifts. Some couples have three accounts: individual and a joint one for household expenses. I've been in both situations (individual vs joint accounts) and found it much easier to discuss our money with a joint account. My spouse's occasional grumbling is way less stressful than my worrying about my money. Joint accounts don't work if one is a spendthrift (sometimes it's both!), but it sounds as if he's not careless with money.

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R Dennis

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7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017
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This whole separate finance thi g has just never made sense to me... no matter who makes more, it creates an ugly power dynamic. My wife and I started from nothing - I had a low income job, she was divorced with three kids by the time she was 22. We sacrificed for each other and our family unit. Eventually we moved firmly into upper middle class... we help both of our families and are just grateful we can.

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MurderMittens

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7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017
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In my family, my husband spends until the account is empty. He spent all of the retirement money before i had the sense to check up on him. I'll be working until the day i die, thanks to him.

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Husband Mad At Wife For Not Giving His Parents Money, Gets Wake-Up Call From The Internet (18)

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LooseSeal's $10 Banana

LooseSeal's $10 Banana

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7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017
  • Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report

I'll never understand people who get into marriage and continue to view things (especially money) as mine/yours. My wife and I together own our house and our cars. Our money is in our bank accounts. If and when the time comes to help our parents we'll do what needs to be done. Too many people today take the step of marriage too lightly.

Vote comment up

16points

Vote comment down

reply

Desiree Meredith

Desiree Meredith

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7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017
  • Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report

I know ... They're like legally bound roommates, not partners.

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4points

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reply

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DrBronxx

DrBronxx

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7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017
  • Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report

I'd say ESH. He sounds entitled, she comes off as heartless. I feel so bad for his parents.

Vote comment up

14points

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reply

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-

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7 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017
  • Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report

I'm on the fence, here, too. It sounds as if they have separate accounts, which may protect her money, but it puts a strain on him. For example, he has to save up for her expensive gifts. Some couples have three accounts: individual and a joint one for household expenses. I've been in both situations (individual vs joint accounts) and found it much easier to discuss our money with a joint account. My spouse's occasional grumbling is way less stressful than my worrying about my money. Joint accounts don't work if one is a spendthrift (sometimes it's both!), but it sounds as if he's not careless with money.

Vote comment up

12points

Vote comment down

reply

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R Dennis

R Dennis

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7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017
  • Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report

This whole separate finance thi g has just never made sense to me... no matter who makes more, it creates an ugly power dynamic. My wife and I started from nothing - I had a low income job, she was divorced with three kids by the time she was 22. We sacrificed for each other and our family unit. Eventually we moved firmly into upper middle class... we help both of our families and are just grateful we can.

Vote comment up

11points

Vote comment down

reply

MurderMittens

MurderMittens

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7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017
  • Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report

In my family, my husband spends until the account is empty. He spent all of the retirement money before i had the sense to check up on him. I'll be working until the day i die, thanks to him.

Vote comment up

1point

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reply

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Husband Mad At Wife For Not Giving His Parents Money, Gets Wake-Up Call From The Internet (2024)

FAQs

What to do if your husband is not giving you money? ›

You can file a petition and claim maintenance from the husband under section 125 of the criminal procedure code and also you can claim the same for your child. You will have to approach the court to claim your rights.

How do I deal with a financially irresponsible husband? ›

Sit down with your husband and talk with him about his attitude toward money, your family's financial situation, and his self-image. Spell out what you need to have happen to keep this marriage alive. For one thing, you are not to be the sole bill payer.

What to do if your wife doesn't contribute financially? ›

Seeking the help of a financial advisor who understands your goals and financial situation is a great way for you and your partner to confront the issues plaguing your marriage. An advisor can help you develop a budget and a plan to pay down any debts that need attention.

What to do when your husband is not supporting you financially? ›

If you're feeling overwhelmed, it's essential to talk to your partner. They may not know how much you're doing, and they may be willing to help more. By communicating openly, you can figure out a plan that works for both of you, avoid non-constructive arguments about money, and instead focus on finding a solution.

What is financial infidelity in a marriage? ›

Financial infidelity occurs when one partner hides or misrepresents financial information from the other, such as keeping secret bank accounts or hiding purchases. It does not necessarily involve marital infidelity, though it can lead to divorce.

How much should a wife contribute financially? ›

Make a list of all your combined expenses: housing, taxes, insurance, utilities. Then talk salary. If you make $60,000 and your partner makes $40,000, then you should pay 60 percent of that total toward the shared expenses and your partner 40 percent.

How do you deal with an overspending spouse? ›

What to Do If Your Spouse Spends Too Much Money?
  1. Sensitively Deal With the Issue. ...
  2. Avoid Comparing Your Spending Habits. ...
  3. Discuss Big Purchases Beforehand. ...
  4. Create Separate Budgets. ...
  5. Get Rid of Credit Cards. ...
  6. Seek Professional Help.

Is it legal for my husband to cut me off financially? ›

The law states that half of their income is yours. But if your spouse chooses to ignore this law and cut you off financially you will need a court order to force a spouse to share the income. It will take 90 days to see a judge and to get such a court order. 90 days of no income can feel like a lifetime.

Should a husband give his wife spending money even if she works? ›

It may also depend on how much she actually earns and where she spends her earnings on. If your wife is working, then in most cases, it is expected that she will contribute to family expenses. If her income is not that high, then husband may choose to provide extra spending money.

Is a husband supposed to support his wife financially? ›

As the Family Law Act puts it: …a person has a responsibility to financially assist their spouse or former de-facto partner, if that person cannot meet their own reasonable expenses from their personal income or assets.

Is my wife taking advantage of me financially? ›

Here are some examples of this exploitation: Controlling or spending your money: This may involve trying to control your use of or access to money you have earned or saved. They may also use your assets for their personal benefit without asking, including taking money or using credit cards without permission.

How do you deal with financial conflict in a marriage? ›

Carve some time out with your partner for a judgement- and criticism-free discussion and do it regularly. Different people have different habits and priorities, so it's important that both partners communicate openly and be open to compromise. Be honest, and work through it with your partner.

How to handle a financially irresponsible spouse? ›

It's important to talk about finances as soon as possible. Even routine financial matters should be discussed. If you feel your spouse isn't taking your finances seriously, share your feelings and what you think could change. This isn't a time to point blame or make one another feel bad.

What is the walkaway wife syndrome? ›

There's a term for this: walkaway wife syndrome. This term is sometimes used to describe instances where a spouse – often the wife – has felt alone, neglected, and resentful in a deteriorating marriage and decides it's time to end it.

Who should be financially responsible in a marriage? ›

It may seem old-fashioned, but many couples today divide financial responsibilities along gender lines, according to financial professionals. Yet even if the division isn't by gender, there's often still a division: One partner takes on the role of money manager while the other just follows along.

How to deal with a man who doesn't give you money? ›

How To Handle Financial Problems in a Relationship
  1. Have an authentic conversation with him.
  2. Break it down for him.
  3. Make it clear that you don't resent him because he makes less than you.

Can a husband withhold money from wife? ›

Withholding access to marital funds without cause may constitute financial abuse. This can be considered illegal, especially when used for control or punishment.

How can I get my husband to give me money? ›

Leverage reciprocation principle. One effective strategy to get your man to give you money is to start by giving something small that can leverage reciprocation. You can treat him to something he likes, like a meal at his favorite restaurant, and he'll feel the need to respond to maintain his sense of dominance.

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