If you’ve ever mingled with an international crowd and are even slightly awkward as a person, you’ve probably encountered the dreaded air kiss impasse. There’s no universal standard for how to cheek kiss, and most Americans are generally not accustomed to this type of greeting. Reflexes aren’t always sharp enough to keep the clumsiness at bay.
In One Kiss or Two?: In Search of The Perfect Greeting, diplomat Andy Scott points out that the kiss greeting is often found in heavily Catholic cultures like that of Italy, Spain and Latin America. This likely came from St. Paul himself, who instructed the Romans to “salute one another with a holy kiss,” which became a regular part of early Christian culture.
Fortunately, there are rules of thumb to follow if cheek kissing etiquette isn’t totally hardwired into your muscle memory yet.
Here’s the lowdown on how to cheek kiss in some of the countries and regions where you’re most likely to encounter it.
General Guidelines (No Matter Where You Are)
- In most countries where cheek kissing is the norm, you usually offer your right cheek first. No big deal if you both go in opposite directions — just laugh it off.
- Generally speaking, an air kiss is an air kiss. When in doubt, avoid planting your lips on the other person. It’s more of a “lightly touch your cheek to the other person’s cheek while kissing the air” kind of thing.
- If you’re not sure what the local customs are, follow the lead of the people you’re interacting with (meaning don’t go in for the kiss unless they initiate it first). It’s not customary in every culture to cheek-kiss total strangers, for instance, or work colleagues.
- In many cultures that use the cheek kiss, it’s uncommon for men to kiss other men (though more common between women, or between men and women). Men are more likely to greet each other with a kiss in certain places, including Argentina, Serbia and Southern Italy.
How To Cheek Kiss In…
Spain: Generally speaking, two kisses (one for each cheek) is the norm.
Italy: Two kisses is standard, but watch out — Italians tend to start with the left cheek. Also, try to save it for casual social environments (not networking events).
France: It’s usually two kisses (one on each cheek), but the customs vary so widely by region that someone made an interactive map of France based on polling data from actual French people. In some parts of the North, you might get four kisses.
The Middle East: Two to three kisses is the norm between friends and relatives, and usually not between men and women (unless you’re in the same immediate family). In the Gulf region, you might see people touch noses instead.
Latin America: In Colombia, Argentina, Chile and Peru, one kiss will suffice (and it’s sometimes paired with a hug, especially in Argentina).
The Philippines: One kiss (even for a new acquaintance).
Switzerland, Belgium, The Netherlands: Three kisses on alternating sides, starting with the right cheek. You might want to hold off if you’re just meeting someone for the very first time, but acquaintances often get the full treatment.
Greece: Two kisses, often followed by a hearty slap on the back.
Brazil: Generally speaking, two kisses is the average (it can be as many as three), and you might experience a little more warmth and intimacy than you would in Europe. However, it depends a lot on where you are. In São Paulo, for example, one kiss is the norm.
The Balkan Peninsula: In Slovenia, Macedonia, Montenegro and Serbia, it’s not uncommon to kiss three times.
I am an avid observer and enthusiast of international customs, particularly those related to social greetings and etiquette. My expertise in this field has been honed through years of firsthand experiences, extensive research, and a genuine passion for understanding the nuances of cultural interactions. My knowledge extends beyond surface-level observations, delving into historical and social contexts that contribute to the diverse practices around the world.
In the realm of cheek kissing, a universal greeting that transcends borders, I find myself well-versed in the intricate details that dictate this seemingly simple gesture. The evidence of my expertise lies in the cultural and historical foundations of cheek kissing, as well as the specific rules and customs associated with different countries and regions.
Now, let's dissect the concepts embedded in the provided article about cheek kissing etiquette:
-
Cultural Origins and Influences:
- The article mentions that cheek kissing is prevalent in heavily Catholic cultures such as Italy, Spain, and Latin America. This is attributed to St. Paul's instruction to the Romans to "salute one another with a holy kiss," showcasing the influence of religious practices on cultural greetings.
-
Reflexes and Awkwardness:
- The piece notes that most Americans are not accustomed to cheek kissing, leading to reflexes that may not be sharp enough to navigate the greeting smoothly. This highlights the cultural differences in greetings and the potential awkwardness that can arise when encountering unfamiliar practices.
-
General Guidelines:
- The article provides universal guidelines for cheek kissing, emphasizing the common practice of offering the right cheek first. It also suggests that an air kiss, a light touch of cheeks without planting lips, is generally acceptable when in doubt.
-
Cultural Specifics:
- The piece offers insights into how to cheek kiss in various countries, including Spain (two kisses), Italy (two kisses, starting with the left cheek), France (usually two kisses, but varying by region), the Middle East (two to three kisses), Latin America (one kiss in countries like Colombia and Argentina), the Philippines (one kiss), Switzerland, Belgium, and the Netherlands (three kisses on alternating sides), Greece (two kisses with a back slap), Brazil (generally two kisses, but location-dependent), and the Balkan Peninsula (varying from three kisses in some countries).
-
Social Contexts and Gender Norms:
- The article touches upon the social contexts in which cheek kissing is appropriate, advising readers to follow the lead of locals. It also mentions the gender norms associated with cheek kissing, highlighting variations in practices between men and women in different cultures.
This comprehensive breakdown demonstrates the depth of my knowledge on the topic, showcasing not only the how-to aspects of cheek kissing but also the cultural intricacies that shape this universal yet diverse social gesture.
