The latest Oreo creation has landed. It doesn't taste like Swedish Fish or cotton candy and it's not peppered with strange textural elements like "puffed millet pieces" or "soy nut inclusions." This time Oreo is giving people what they already love ... just a lot more of it.
The Most Stuf Oreos have hit store shelves just in time to obliterate your New Year's resolutions and shock your friends at upcoming Super Bowl watch parties. "Most. Creme. Ever.," the package promises next to a comically large cookie.
Admittedly, it is a bit of a shock when you first open the package — folds of that familiar white creme sit between Oreo's classic chocolate cookies like the shapeless mouth of a blobfish.The sandwiches are so fat with filling, in fact, that only 18 cookies fit in each package, compared to the 39 found in a pack of original Oreos.
But just how much creme is the Most. Creme. Ever.? Is it really more creme than we've ever seen before? Or is this more marketing trickery from the same company that has fooled us into eating doughycoins of artificial flavorings one (or two or three) too many times?
I had to find out. So I went to the store and bought all five levels of "stuf" that Oreo currently offers — Thin, original, Double Stuf, Mega Stuf and The Most Stuf.
Using a sharp knife, I scraped the filling from each cookie, taking care to keep every wad of goo in one piece for the most accurate, consistent results (an impossible task when it came to the Thin Oreos, despite multiple attempts). Then I weighed each gob on a food scale. Worth noting: Oreo creme is surprisingly sturdy without the cookie around it.
The Thin Oreo's offering, just a whisper of an ounce of creme, was barely recognizable by the scale. And I was heartened to see that Double Stuf Oreos, with six grams of creme, were literally double the traditional Oreo's three grams of creme. The name is not a lie!
That's when things got a little weird. The Mega Stuf Oreos, which have been around since 2013, offered up a whopping 11 grams of filling, nearly double that of a Double Stuf. The Most Stuf cookies certainly look like more ... a lot more! If I had to guess by appearance alone, I would place it somewhere around 18 grams or so, as it looks like it could be anywhere from 33 percent more of a Mega Stuf to double that of a Double stuf. That's a lot of stuf!
But nope.
A Most Stuf Oreo is just 13 grams of stuf.
Yes, when you pry open that packaging and see, for the first time, stacks of Most Stuf Oreos, it looks like a lot. And they are — it's more than four times the filling found in an original Oreo. But marketing be damned, Most Stuf Oreos are only two grams more than Mega Stuf Oreos. You know what else weighs about two grams? One dime. Two grams is nothing, and if you've eaten a Mega Stuf Oreo, you've basically eaten a Most Stuf Oreo — now it's just wrapped in fancy limited-edition packaging.It's a little softer, a little fluffier and therefore a little bulkier than other creme, and sure, technically it is the Most. Creme. Ever. But it's not the monument to creme filling I stacked like Jenga blocks as a child. It's doesn't continue the Oreo trend of being double (or nearly double) of the cookie that came before it.
And why not? If there is ever a time to release a cookie crammed with 20 grams or more of fat, sugar and vanillin, NOW IS THAT TIME. The President is (~allegedly~wink~wink~) a Russian spy, the ice caps are melting at a record pace and not a single woman was nominated for Best Director at the Oscars! GIVE US MORE THAN JUST TWO EXTRA GRAMS OF CREME, OREO.
That disappointmentwon't stop me from eating them, though. They're delicious.
