Buttonhole etiquette — Lavender + Rose (2024)

If there’s a message we want to hammer home even more this year it’s that flowers are for fellas too. Not that a buttonhole can have a gender preference, but these pretty mini arrangements are usually used for the boys to smarten up their suits. If you’re planning to include some of these little beauties at your wedding then you might be confused about buttonhole etiquette. We. Hear. You. It can be a little unclear who should get one and who shouldn’t. In the name of *doing* you, anyone can of course have a buttonhole, but below we’ve shared who traditionally receives one. The unconventional bit can then be left up to you if you decide to be a mini rebel and break the wedding rules.

Who gets a buttonhole at a wedding?

Buttonhole etiquette — Lavender + Rose (1)

If there’s a groom or grooms at your wedding, then they typically are first in line for a buttonhole. Following that the best man, any ushers, page boys and fathers of the bride and groom who are in attendance typically receive one. After that it’s anyone’s game. Would you like you brother to have one? Or maybe your close friends, cousins or your dog (joking, dogs don’t wear jackets silly, but they do wear floral collars fabulously well)? If there are mums, step-mums, godmothers, grandmothers or aunties to consider, you can give them a corsage or a buttonhole too, to make them feel special and included in your plans for the big day.

How to attach a buttonhole

Buttonhole etiquette — Lavender + Rose (2)

We usually attach buttonholes when we drop them off, but if we’re leaving them at the venue or the boys aren’t ready by the time we see them, we always leave instructions for how to best secure them to jackets. Your buttonhole will be delivered with two pins (just in case!) but you should only need one. Take your pin and push it through a small piece of fabric on your lapel, near or beside your buttonhole. You want to just skim the fabric so that the pin is in securely but most of the length of it is still free, then slide your buttonhole – with flowers facing forward – onto the pin about two third of the way up the stems. You want the main bulk of the weight supported on the pin, so it doesn’t flop forward. Finally, you nick another piece of your lapel with the end of the pin, leaving it facing out the way. You’re essentially wiggling your pin through your fabric, then the buttonhole, and then the fabric again. Much easier than we’ve made it sound, we promise.

Image: Tub of Jelly

Buttonhole styles

There are a few different styles when it comes to buttonholes. We favour the rustic, old fashioned way which sees a mini bunch grouped together and tied up with a little twine or a flourish of hand-dyed silk ribbon. Alternatively, some florists tape and wire theirs to make them last longer, this gives a more traditional look. When it comes to our technique all styles are possible, we can do all greenery bunches, textural arrangements of seedpods and grasses, classic Scottish serves of roses and thistles or anything else you can dream of. We keep our buttonholes cool and hydrated in a chilled, damp environment right up until they’re dropped off to you, so you know they’re going to be super fresh and withstand a whole lot of hugging.

How much do buttonholes cost?

Buttonhole etiquette — Lavender + Rose (4)

Good question, we’re always keen to be open and honest about pricing because there’s nothing more infuriating than trying to keep to a budget when everyone is keeping prices a secret. Our buttonholes start from £9 and go up from there, depending on what flowers are required.

We love working to new, creative briefs and interpreting a feeling or vibe our clients want to bring to their wedding. If you’re getting hitched and would like to chat flowers, please do get in touch.

Rosie Conroy

Buttonhole etiquette — Lavender + Rose (2024)

FAQs

Do female wedding guests wear buttonholes? ›

Who Wears Buttonholes at a Wedding? Usually, only the main people involved in the wedding such as the groom or bride get the honour of wearing buttonholes but sometimes the option is extended to VIP guests like the parents, groomsmen, bridesmaids and the officiant.

What are the best flowers for buttonholes? ›

If choosing fresh flowers choose flowers such as carnations which hold up brilliantly, the traditional rose will also tolerate being wired and is still the most popular flower to use for buttonholes, take a look at dainty gypsophilia and waxflower with hardy foliage such as euculptus, soft ruscus or ivy.

Who traditionally has buttonholes at a wedding? ›

A buttonhole, sometimes called a boutonnière, is a little flower worn in the lapel of a suit. They're normally worn by the groom, ushers, fathers, stepfathers and any other male members of the couple's immediate family.

What Colour should wedding buttonholes be? ›

The colour of your buttonholes can either contrast or complement the colour of the groom's outfit. For instance, a grey suit with a lilac cravat could be complemented by a buttonhole made from a deep purple tulip or anemone, a silvery 'metalica' rose or a sprig of lavender.

Who should have buttonholes flowers at a wedding? ›

You are probably aware that (typically) the groom and groomsmen will wear a buttonhole. Some couples also choose to honour their parents, grandparents, close friends or relatives, ushers, celebrant or friends helping with the wedding by giving them a 'wearable' flower.

Who pays for buttonholes at weddings? ›

Groom's Family

Here are some things that you could ask them to contribute towards: The rehearsal dinner, including food, decorations, and entertainment. A wedding gift for the couple. Corsages and buttonholes for both the bride and groom's parents.

Do buttonholes have to match bridal bouquet? ›

The buttonholes should match or compliment the flowers of the brides bouquet or the bridesmaids dresses, The groom may also decide to wear a corsage. The Groom's buttonhole or corsage should be more fuller than the rest of the party, What side do men wear buttonholes? Men will wear there buttonhole on the left side.

Do you still wear buttonholes at weddings? ›

It is becoming increasingly popular to have buttonholes for all of the wedding guests. Typically these would be a more simple version of the wedding party buttonholes, for example a single rose with a ribbon and may differ in colour to ensure the wedding parties buttonholes stand out.

Does the mother of the bride wear a button hole? ›

From my experience, a lot of couples and their bridal parties often are not aware of the traditional wedding etiquette in wearing a buttonhole (for groomsmen) or a corsage (typically for the mothers of bride and groom).

Do mother of the bride and groom wear corsages? ›

Tradition calls for corsages to be given to mothers of the bride and groom. For a different approach, pin a flower in her hair or give her a small nosegay to carry. While lilies and roses are classics, incorporating each mother's favorite flower or one that complements her ensemble is a thoughtful gesture.

What is a ladies buttonhole called? ›

The Ladies buttonhole is an important status symbol for the mothers of the bride and groom and sometimes even the grandmothers. They can be worn directly on their clothes or on their wrist, called a corsage. They are more ornate than the gents buttonholes.

How do you pick a boutonnière color? ›

Matching. One of the most common ideas when it comes to prom corsages and boutonnieres is to make sure they match your date's outfit. If you know what color dress, suit, or vest/tie colors he or she will be wearing, this can be a great option.

Do corsages and boutonnieres have to be the same color? ›

It is common to have the boutonniere and corsage matching and this color scheme is determined by the woman's dress color.

Can I make buttonholes the day before the wedding? ›

Buttonholes and corsages have to be made the day before or in the morning of your wedding to stay alive. Allow half an hour per buttonhole. Store your flowers in a cool and shady place, and out of a draft. Also give them a spray regularly with water to keep them fresh and hydrated.

What flowers should not be in a wedding bouquet? ›

The 3 Flower Foes

Lilacs: “I typically avoid these in bouquets because they wilt easily.” Hydrangeas: “Imported hydrangeas require 24/7 hydration. These are a no unless they're constantly in water.” Lilies: “Most varieties have pollen that can stain and a fragrance that is too overwhelming.”

Is it OK not to have a flower girl and ring bearer? ›

4. Breaking tradition is okay. When it comes to choosing your ring bearer and flower girl, it's important to remember that this is your wedding, and breaking tradition is okay if it's what suits you and your partner best. For instance, you don't even have to have a ring bearer or flower girl if you don't want to!

Who gets buttonholes at wedding UK? ›

The little flowers worn in the lapel of the men's suits at a wedding are known as buttonholes. Sometimes referred to as boutonnières, they are usually worn by the men in the bridal party: the groom, best man, ushers, father-of-the-bride, father-of-the-groom, and sometimes the page boy.

What should the mother of the groom not do? ›

Here are a few things a mother-of-the-groom shouldn't do.
  • Don't overshadow the bride's mother. ...
  • Don't act (or dress) like a bridesmaid. ...
  • Don't get too critical. ...
  • Don't steal the bride's spotlight with your mother-of-the-groom outfit. ...
  • Don't try to invite extra guests. ...
  • Don't skip the pre-wedding events.
2 Jul 2019

What do groom's parents typically pay for? ›

What Does the Groom's Family Pay For, Traditionally? The groom's family is responsible for corsages and boutonnieres for immediate members of both families, the lodging of the groom's attendants (if you have offered to help pay for this expense), and sometimes the costs of the rehearsal dinner.

What flowers does mother of groom pay for? ›

The Bridal Bouquet

The groom's family provides the flowers involved in a wedding ceremony. That includes the bride's bouquet, the groomsmen and usher boutonnieres, and the corsages and mini bouquets for the both mothers and grandmothers.

Do the flower girls in a wedding use the same color as the brides? ›

3 – Do flower girl dresses have to be white? Since the tradition goes that flower girl dresses usually bear resemblance to the bride's, often they will be some shade of white, cream or ivory since this is what the bride's dress will be.

What color bouquet should bride carry? ›

White wedding flowers - a classic choice for your big day. White symbolizes purity and innocence. White flowers go great with all dress colors. If your gown is white and you don't like the look of white-on-white, add a collar of dark green ruscus leaves to make the bouquet stand out beautifully.

Should buttonholes be vertical or horizontal? ›

Therefore, you want your buttonholes to sit horizontally as well. The button will get pulled to one end of the buttonhole and hold the garment together. If the buttonhole was sitting vertically, then that strain on the waistband would encourage the buttonhole to open up and then the button might just slip out!

What is the corsage etiquette? ›

Etiquette and tradition state that a corsage should be worn on the left side (either the left wrist or left shoulder strap), but ultimately, placement and how you wear is up to personal preference. Many left-handed people prefer to wear their corsage on their right hand.

Who needs a wrist corsage at a wedding? ›

The bride's mother, groom's mother, all the grandmothers, and any female readers during your ceremony traditionally wear a corsage on their wrist, or a pinned corsage to their clothing. If you have a female officiant that you really connect with, you could even consider giving them a corsage as well.

Are wedding corsages outdated? ›

Additionally, “Boutonnieres and corsages are no longer necessary—they are a little outdated—corsages more so than boutonnieres.

What is the most popular color for mother of the bride dresses? ›

When it comes to color choices, navy is the number-one most requested color for the mothers of the bride and groom. Other popular colors include blush and shades of nude. Traditionally, you want to avoid white, black and red.

Who buys the mother of the bride dress? ›

Time It Right and Communicate Your Choice

It is customary for the mother of the bride to buy her dress first and then share her choice with the mother of the groom. The mother of the groom might also need special orders and alterations, so be sure to give her ample time to accomplish this before the wedding.

Are mother of the groom dresses different than mother of the bride? ›

Mother of the bride dresses and mother of the groom dresses and outfits are the same, it's all down to individual style. Whether it's a black-tie or a casual affair, the style rules for wedding party guest outfits are similar.

What color does mother of the groom usually wear? ›

If your wedding is a formal one, some mothers of the groom might prefer to wear shades of gold, dark silver, or even black. Other darker colors that might be worn include shades of : Navy.

Who walks down the aisle with the mother of the bride? ›

The most traditional choice is for a groomsman to walk the bride's mother down the aisle. This can be an especially good choice if the two sides of the wedding party are uneven or if you'd like to give this gentleman some additional spotlight.

Does mother of groom wear same color as bride? ›

The mothers of the bride and groom don't need to match on the wedding day. Both are encouraged to wear outfits that represent their personal style. If the couple does prefer to have the moms wear complementary outfits, try to find colors or silhouettes that look great together.

What does it mean to buttonhole someone? ›

verb (2) buttonholed; buttonholing; buttonholes. transitive verb. : to detain in conversation by or as if by holding on to the outer garments of.

Why are buttonholes different colors? ›

Traditionally, when shirts were still made by humans, this meant reinforcing the button and the buttonhole with a thicker thread, which was either done on a second sewing machine, or as a last step when finishing a job. Hence, the different thread and different color.

Are corsages still a thing for prom 2022? ›

Prom Season 2022 is shaping up to be quite a busy one! Though the traditional corsages and boutonnieres are still extremely popular, we're seeing the addition of more bouquets and softer colors.

Are corsages still a thing? ›

Today, corsages are most commonly seen at homecomings, proms, and similar formal events.

Who wears a flower at weddings? ›

Traditionally the Groom is expected to pay for the flowers in the church and for the wedding party With the bride's parents pay for the flowers at the reception venue. The men should be given buttonholes, bridesmaids require a bouquet and the respective mothers receive a corsage.

Should the boutonniere match the girls dress? ›

By tradition, most couples match the boutonniere and corsage to the color of the girl's dress. Take a look at the color wheel below and find the color of your date's dress. For a perfect complement, choose the color on the opposite side of the wheel.

What does boutonniere match with? ›

Today, boutonnières are still a part of a man's formal attire, chiefly used on special occasions such as weddings, proms, or ceremonies. When worn at prom or weddings, they often match the flowers (corsages) of the bride or date. There are many types and styles of boutonnières to choose from.

Who gets the corsage and who gets the boutonniere? ›

Traditionally the groom's family buys the bridal bouquet, corsages, and boutonnieres. Corsages usually go to mothers and grandmothers of the bride and groom. Boutonnieres are won by the groom, groomsmen, fathers and grandfathers. Other members of the wedding like the ring bearer or ushers may also receive boutonnieres.

How many roses go on a corsage? ›

Corsages and boutonnieres can have 1 or up to 5 flowers. They can be of any color and a combination of colors.

Does groom's boutonniere match bride's bouquet? ›

The Groom. Most grooms will wear a boutonniere that matches the style or color of the bridal bouquet. The groom's arrangement is an important part of creating your wedding flower list!

Who normally has buttonholes at a wedding? ›

A buttonhole, sometimes called a boutonnière, is a little flower worn in the lapel of a suit. They're normally worn by the groom, ushers, fathers, stepfathers and any other male members of the couple's immediate family.

Do ladies wear buttonholes weddings? ›

Ladies wear a button hole / corsage on their right

And this is the bit most people don't know. Ladies wear the flower differently to the men, on the opposite side. But it doesn't stop there – a lady should have the flowers pointing downwards. So the stem should be pointing towards her shoulder.

Do people still wear buttonholes to weddings? ›

It is becoming increasingly popular to have buttonholes for all of the wedding guests. Typically these would be a more simple version of the wedding party buttonholes, for example a single rose with a ribbon and may differ in colour to ensure the wedding parties buttonholes stand out.

What should a woman not wear to a wedding? ›

Steer Clear of Anything Too Casual

No one wants to quit their coziest clothing like yoga pants, slippers, and jeans. But these have no place at a wedding. Even if a wedding is casual and relaxed, still dress with respect. No flip, flops, shorts, or jeans should be on your list of options to wear.

Who wears a wrist corsage at a wedding? ›

Mothers and Grandmothers

It's important to remember family members on your wedding flower list. Traditionally, mothers and grandmothers will wear a corsage with two or three blooms, worn either on the wrist or pinned to their left lapel. Alternatively, they can carry a miniature bouquet or a single stem.

Who gets corsages at a wedding? ›

The bride's mother, groom's mother, all the grandmothers, and any female readers during your ceremony traditionally wear a corsage on their wrist, or a pinned corsage to their clothing. If you have a female officiant that you really connect with, you could even consider giving them a corsage as well.

Does Father of the bride get a button hole? ›

Who gets a buttonhole at a wedding? If there's a groom or grooms at your wedding, then they typically are first in line for a buttonhole. Following that the best man, any ushers, page boys and fathers of the bride and groom who are in attendance typically receive one. After that it's anyone's game.

Who decides what the mother of the groom wears? ›

Traditionally, the mother of the bride selects her dress first and then tells the mother of the groom what style of dress she chose so the mother of the groom can pick accordingly.

What happens if a woman catches the flowers at a wedding? ›

The Modern Bouquet Toss:

The bouquet toss in modern times is a symbol of good luck. It is said if you catch the bouquet, then you will have good fortune and you will be the next to get married.

Is it better to be overdressed or underdressed for a wedding? ›

Being overdressed is more appropriate AND, to be honest, it will draw people to you making it easy to make new friends, allowing you to feel a little more comfortable whereas being underdressed would do the opposite. So, in general, it's a good rule of thumb!

What is disrespectful to wear to a wedding? ›

It doesn't matter if the dress code requests "casual" attire; jeans, T-Shirts, shorts, and sneakers are never appropriate to wear as a wedding guest. Show respect for the bride and groom by dressing formally.

Why can't you wear pink to a wedding? ›

While dark pinks and light reds are appropriate, blush and other shades of light pink have a chance of looking too similar to the bridesmaids, or getting washed out and looking white in photos. If you're set on wearing light pink, break up the color with patterns or vibrant accessories.

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