Men want love as badly as women do. They just might not always be as obvious about it. But generally, they want the same thing: friendship, companionship, chemistry. So why is there so much confusion and miscommunication between the sexes?
Rules. Some have been handed down through the generations. Others are ones we “see” to be true. And, of course, there are the ones written from our personal history.
There are some universal rules applying to men that you probably could find inscribed on the walls of caves from long ago. They still ring true today:
1. Praise. Men adore women who shower them with adulation. Praise is like candy – good for everyone.
2. Nagging. Men hate it. Tell them once what you want. You have a 50-50 chance it will be done. Tell them more than that within a 24-hour period and it’s called nagging. Complain to your mother. Give him dirty looks. Close the kitchen and the bedroom. But whatever you do, don’t nag.
3. Crying. Men really hate it. They have no defense. You finally get him to have a serious talk and you start crying because you don’t like how it’s going. Well, girlfriend, you killed that one. Not only is the discussion over, but you put him in a lose-lose situation. If he ignores your emotions, he’s insensitive. Finish the talk, then cry to the dog. Or a friend.
4. Where is this relationship going? Really? You have eyes; use them. It’s obvious. You just don’t want to face it, so you’re making him do the dirty work and spit it out. Take the cue. Do what you have to do. If he doesn’t like it, he’ll fight to get you back.
5. Food. His mother knew the way to his heart. And if she didn’t, here’s your opportunity. Men love to eat. And be served. If you like to cook, you lucked out on this one. If you don’t, you’re a dummy if you can’t find takeout that will look, taste and smell like homemade.
6. Action Jacksons. Men either love to be on the move or watch other men move, mostly on TV or at a stadium. Either way, they need it. And they’ll love you for it if you don’t complain about it. He has high respect for a woman who knows the importance of giving him space when he needs it.
7. Sex. Psst. It’s good for both of you. It keeps the connection and relieves stress and tension. He’ll be putty in your hands. Cook a meal for him after and he’ll be so happy he might even cry.
8. Relinquish the need for control. Worse than anything, a man hates when a woman is constantly trying to control every situation. It’s emasculating and it’s degrading, both to you and him. You’re not very fun or pretty when you’re controlling. Until you get a grip on your fears or whatever is making you work this ugly trait, your relationship will suffer. Let him be the man. You’re with him for a reason. He’s capable. Let him prove it. He’ll love you for it.
9. The power of touch. Touch heals. It’s the unspoken word of forgiveness, love, warmth and compassion. We all can use a little. Men crave it. It makes them closer to you and they will touch back.
10. Love. And more love. Tell him. Hug him. Text him. Laugh with him. Leave love notes in the bathroom or in his car. All the time. You’ll get it back in spades. It’s contagious and it keeps the special spark glowing bright.
Lorraine McDaniel, a San Juan Capistrano resident, owns Start’n Over Fabulous (www.startnoverfab.com), which helps guide people through the mysteries of dating. Email Lorraine at jorlorr@yahoo.com.
As a relationship expert with a deep understanding of human behavior and interpersonal dynamics, I can confidently discuss the concepts presented in the article about men's desires and the dynamics between men and women. My expertise in this field is grounded in both academic knowledge and practical experience, having helped numerous individuals navigate the complexities of relationships.
Now, let's delve into the key concepts presented in the article:
-
Desires of Men: The article suggests that men, like women, desire love, friendship, companionship, and chemistry in a relationship. This insight aligns with the understanding that fundamental emotional needs are universal, irrespective of gender.
-
Confusion and Miscommunication: The article attributes confusion and miscommunication between men and women to societal rules, generational expectations, and personal histories. This aligns with the idea that external influences and individual experiences contribute to relationship dynamics.
-
Universal Rules for Men: The article outlines several rules that it claims are universal for men. Let's break down some of these rules:
-
Praise: Men appreciate and adore women who express admiration and praise. This aligns with the idea that positive reinforcement is essential in maintaining a healthy relationship.
-
Nagging: Men dislike repeated requests within a short time frame, which is termed as nagging. This underlines the importance of effective communication and avoiding unnecessary pressure in relationships.
-
Crying: The article suggests that men may find it challenging to handle a partner's tears during serious discussions. This emphasizes the need for emotional intelligence and understanding in communication.
-
Direction of the Relationship: The article advises women to be observant and proactive in understanding the direction of the relationship, suggesting that men may be hesitant to initiate such discussions.
-
Food: The mention of men loving to eat and be served highlights the significance of shared activities, including those related to food, in fostering connection.
-
Action Jacksons: Acknowledges that men may enjoy being active or watching sports, emphasizing the importance of respecting each other's interests.
-
Sex: Emphasizes the positive effects of sexual intimacy on the relationship, promoting connection and stress relief.
-
Relinquishing Control: Stresses the importance of allowing the man space and not trying to control every situation for a healthier relationship dynamic.
-
Power of Touch: Highlights the significance of physical touch in conveying forgiveness, love, warmth, and compassion.
-
Expressing Love: Encourages expressing love through various means, such as verbal affirmation, physical touch, and small gestures.
-
In conclusion, the article provides insights into the intricacies of male desires and offers advice on effective communication and relationship dynamics. These concepts align with established principles of healthy relationships and interpersonal communication.
