Your 3 Most Important Financial Steps AFTER Divorce (2024)

Did you know that female senior citizens are 80 percent more likely to live in poverty than males? I found that sobering statistic and others about women, retirement, and money in a New York Times article. As a divorced (or divorcing) woman, wouldn’t you appreciate a road map so you don’t spend your “golden years” being broke?

My clients freak out at the thought that one day they might have to rely on their children or other family members for money. To avoid that, they want to know what they should be doing, what are the most important financial steps after divorce.

I’ll cut right to the chase: the most important practice is to create a plan for how not to run out of money. This practice involves three critical steps.

Step #1: Secure what’s yours and protect what you have

After your divorce is final, the last thing you feel like doing is more financial tasks, I know. But now that you are independent, there are important steps you must complete. Failure to do so could cost you a lot of money.

Case in point: I was managing a brokerage account for a divorced client who was waiting on her ex-husband to complete paperwork in order to transfer half of his retirement assets to her. Because it wasn’t his priority to meet his ex-wife at the Fidelity office to sign papers, it took over a year for those assets to transfer to her ownership. I calculated that the delay cost her over $12,000. Why? Because her ex-husband had his retirement plan sitting in a conservative portfolio that wasn’t growing much due to the large bond exposure. Had that money been invested in the same manner that I had managed her brokerage account, her individual retirement account (IRA) would have been worth $12,000 more!

Elsewhere, it’s important that you protect what you have by updating the beneficiaries on your accounts. If you were to die, you’d probably prefer your money go directly to your kids or siblings instead of your ex-husband, right?

You don’t necessarily need an attorney to help you with most post-divorce steps. You may want to consult with a certified divorce financial analyst (CDFA) or follow a post-divorce checklist like the one I provide my clients and financial students. (More on that soon.)

Step #2: Pay your bills and pay yourself

The mortgage, property tax, utilities, Internet, cell phone …those darn, pesky bills! If we don’t have enough money each month to pay our bills in full, sometimes interest accrues on our credit cards. I teach women how to reverse that situation. Instead of paying income to the credit card companies, consider how you might pay income to yourself! That may sound strange, but each month you should have an expense line in your budget in which you are paying yourself, ideally in the form of contributions to a tax-deferred or tax-exempt retirement account. You want that money to be invested so it builds up over time to replace your child support or alimony (assuming you receive one or both) or your employment income when you are too old to work.

Is a budget really important? The short and long answer is YES. If you don’t know how much you spend, you don’t know how much it costs you to live now or in the future. And thus, you have no idea if you will or will not run out of money later on.

If you have never created a budget, don’t despair. You can search the web for various templates that you could use. I will also tell you about another resource in a moment.

Step #3: Invest your money now to create financial abundance later

Once you start building a nest egg for your future, you need to invest the money so it at least keeps up with inflation. We don’t like to think about it, but it will cost a heck of a lot more money to pay for necessities and luxuries in the future than it does today. That’s because the cost of goods and services rise over time. It’s called inflation.

You need to spend years building a nest egg that is large enough so you can withdraw money each month to pay your bills. Think social security will cover you? Please keep reading.

Many divorced women I encounter are overwhelmed by the choices they have when it comes to investing. There are robo-advisors on the Internet, people trying to sell you insurance as an investment, and financial advisors on every corner. If you don’t have a solid foundation of financial literacy, how are you going to evaluate which financial or investment advisor is right for you?

If all of this sounds complicated to you, it’s okay. It did for many, now high functioning, financially savvy women I know, too. What they did to turn their lives around was to frame this new chapter in their lives as a start over. And then they got educated.

You can do this too in a number of ways. You could buy a book. You could have a smart, patient friend teach you – if you are comfortable with that. You could also hire a professional to help you take responsibility for your financial empowerment. Or you can take my online course, for less cost than it is to visit a lawyer for an hour.

Based on what I know women need in their divorce recoveryto become financially literate and to move forward to plan and protect their lives, I teach you the language of investing and the right actions involved.

Through more than 2 dozen educational modules (often done in easy to absorb videos), my course, How Not to Run Out of Money: Recently-Divorced Woman’s Guide to Financial Independence, is designed to show you how to do everything I’ve mentioned above, step by step:

  • Secure What’s Yours and Protect What You Have
  • Pay Your Bills and Pay Yourself
  • How to Invest Your Money Now for Abundance Later

In this course, you will learn how to create a budget (using a template I developed for women and considerate of women’s expenses and needs) and how to use it; you’ll learn if you can rely on social security in the future (I have a module helping you understand social security and what you must know). All this so that by the end of the course, you’ll know if you need to increase your income (and by how much) or cut your expenses. Or, if you are fortunate, you’ll conclude that your divorce settlement is large enough to cover your expenses throughout your lifetime.

Knowledge is power, isn’t it? Let’s put your growing knowledge and past experience to use protecting you and your future

Laurie Itkin is a financial advisor, certified divorce financial analyst (CDFA) andthe Amazon bestselling author of “Every Woman Should Know Her Options.” In her comprehensive online courseshe provides affordable education for divorcing and divorced women.You can write Laurie or learn more about her by visitingTheOptionsLady.com.

Full disclosure: SAS for Women feels so strongly about this course, having tried it out and learned through it, that we officially endorse it and wish you to know that SAS receives a nominal fee if you purchase the class, too. Thank you for supporting the work of other women in your support of self.

Share these insights

Your 3 Most Important Financial Steps AFTER Divorce (2024)

FAQs

How to be financially ok after divorce? ›

21 Divorce Financial Tips You Must Do After Divorce
  1. Cancel joint accounts. ...
  2. Open new accounts after a divorce. ...
  3. Change beneficiaries. ...
  4. Update your personal insurance coverage. ...
  5. Create an emergency reserve after a divorce. ...
  6. Create an income safety net. ...
  7. Check your credit score. ...
  8. Create a new estate plan.

How do people afford to live after divorce? ›

Starting over after divorce with no money might seem daunting, but it's possible with careful planning and smart financial decisions. Start with building your support system, finding an affordable place to live, and seeking alimony or child support. Then evaluate your income and expenses and adjust where necessary.

Who suffers more financially after divorce? ›

Forbes also pointed out that women suffer a much more significant drop in their standard of living after divorce – a direct reflection of their decreased financial wealth. One study showed that their standard of living can drop by almost 50%, while a man's standard of living typically only drops about 20%.

How to protect yourself financially during separation? ›

How Do I Protect Myself Financially From My Spouse During a...
  1. Create a Financial Plan for Your Divorce. ...
  2. Open Your Own Bank Account. ...
  3. Separate Your Debt. ...
  4. Monitor Your Credit Score. ...
  5. Take an Inventory of Your Assets. ...
  6. Review Your Retirement Accounts. ...
  7. Consider Mediation Before Litigation. ...
  8. Popular Family Law Articles.
Aug 9, 2023

Does my husband have to pay the bills until we are divorced? ›

During the divorce proceedings, the couple is still legally married, and as such, they may need to continue contributing to household expenses and bills to maintain their shared living situation. This can include costs related to housing, utilities, groceries, and other day-to-day living expenses.

How long does it take a man to financially recover from divorce? ›

- While emotional stress may feel harder to handle, recovering financially takes longer — and more than one-third have yet to fully do so up to five years following the divorce.

Can divorce ruin you financially? ›

To put it simply, regardless of your financial position during a marriage, you'll likely have less money coming into your household after a divorce, and you may not be able to afford all the things you used to when you were married.

How financially damaging is divorce? ›

About one in five women fall into poverty as a result of divorce. About one in four women lose their health insurance for a period of time after divorce. About one in three women who own a home and have children at home when they divorce lose their homes.

What is a silent divorce? ›

A silent divorce, also known as emotional divorce, is a gradual and often unnoticed separation between couples. It's where the intimacy, love, and connection that once bound two people together slowly erodes, leaving them feeling more like roommates than romantic partners.

What do men lose in divorce? ›

Men Often Experience a Loss of Identity

But when a divorce happens, men lose most of it – the spouse, the children, the familial bond, and the happiness. The custody of the children is often given to the mother, while the father only gets the visitation rights.

What will I lose if I get divorced? ›

Marital property is generally defined as all income, property, and debts acquired during the marriage. That property is seen as owned equally by both spouses, and therefore will be distributed equally after the divorce, with a couple caveats.

Who is more likely to remarry after a divorce? ›

Men tend to remarry sooner (3 years after divorce on average vs. 5 years on average for women). Many women do not remarry because they do not want to remarry. Traditionally, marriage has provided more benefits to men than to women.

Can I empty my bank account before divorce? ›

That means you cannot empty your joint account unless your spouse consents or you get a court order first. If you are considering divorce, it's important to prepare financially. Our attorneys can advise you regarding what information you need to gather and how to address your fears of having no funds.

How to financially prepare to leave your husband? ›

Here are a few things to consider:
  1. Determine whether you will retain or close joint or individual accounts.
  2. Identify where name or address changes may be needed.
  3. Determine if you need to establish any new individual accounts. ...
  4. Review beneficiaries on all accounts for updates that may be needed.

Why won't she file for divorce? ›

Understand Why They Aren't Signing

Sometimes spouses may be thinking about working things out, or they may want to discuss how the divorce affects the kids. Other times, your spouse won't sign as a form of leverage for the relationship or because of anger.

How do men financially survive divorce? ›

Financial Divorce Recovery Strategies

First, consider creating a post-divorce budget that takes into account your new single income. You may have some debt to pay off from the divorce, and a budget will help ensure you don't accrue additional debt.

Why is moving out the biggest mistake in a divorce? ›

Why Leaving the Home Voluntarily is a Huge Mistake. If you and your wife have children, your voluntary move away from the home – even if intended to be temporary – sends a signal to the court that interacting daily with your children is really not that important to you.

Top Articles
Latest Posts
Article information

Author: Kieth Sipes

Last Updated:

Views: 5922

Rating: 4.7 / 5 (47 voted)

Reviews: 94% of readers found this page helpful

Author information

Name: Kieth Sipes

Birthday: 2001-04-14

Address: Suite 492 62479 Champlin Loop, South Catrice, MS 57271

Phone: +9663362133320

Job: District Sales Analyst

Hobby: Digital arts, Dance, Ghost hunting, Worldbuilding, Kayaking, Table tennis, 3D printing

Introduction: My name is Kieth Sipes, I am a zany, rich, courageous, powerful, faithful, jolly, excited person who loves writing and wants to share my knowledge and understanding with you.