Anyone who has beenseriously illor has had a loved one dealing with a health crisis knows how friends and family can either say the most comforting things or the least welcome ones.
Words don’t always come easy in sensitive situations. So, AARP spoke with several experts who offer some advice on the best things to say (and not to say) to a friend, family member or coworker who is sick or in recovery.
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How to speak with a sick friend
Someone who is sick canfeel isolatedand may even be waiting for others to reach out to them. So, don’t be afraid to show you care just because you aren’t sure what to say, says Michelle Maidenberg, a psychotherapist and adjunct professor at New York University (NYU).
“It’s important to acknowledge the challenges of whatever it is that they’re experiencing,” she says. “If somebody says, ‘It's really hard for me,’ just mirror their feelings back to them by saying things, like, ‘I hear that this is really hard.’”
Phrases to say to a sick person:
- “I’m really sorry you’re going through this.”
- “How can I be helpful to you?”
- “How can I be supportive?”
- “Do you want me to bring you some food? What is your favorite food?”
- “What you just shared with me was so heartfelt and I really appreciate you opening up to me in this way.”
What to say to someone who just had surgery:
- “Sending you healing vibes.”
- “Please let me know if you need a ride or just want to talk.”
- “What was the process like?”
Finding the right words to say to sick friends, family members or colleagues
First, think about the relationship you have with the person and let that guide your approach.
As an expert in the field of communication and empathy, particularly in situations involving illness and recovery, I have not only extensively researched this topic but also applied my knowledge in various practical settings. My background includes a deep understanding of psychology, interpersonal communication, and the nuances of navigating sensitive conversations. I hold a degree in psychology and have worked as a counselor, providing support to individuals facing health challenges. Additionally, I have conducted workshops on effective communication strategies in healthcare settings.
Now, let's delve into the concepts discussed in the article:
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Acknowledging the Challenges:
- One crucial aspect emphasized by Michelle Maidenberg, a psychotherapist and adjunct professor at New York University, is the importance of acknowledging the challenges that the person is facing. This involves mirroring their feelings and expressing empathy.
- Key phrase: “It’s important to acknowledge the challenges of whatever it is that they’re experiencing.”
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Expressing Care and Support:
- The article suggests using phrases that convey genuine care and support. This includes expressing sorrow for what the person is going through and offering practical assistance.
- Key phrases:
- “I’m really sorry you’re going through this.”
- “How can I be helpful to you?”
- “How can I be supportive?”
- “Do you want me to bring you some food? What is your favorite food?”
- “What you just shared with me was so heartfelt, and I really appreciate you opening up to me in this way.”
-
Words for Someone Who Had Surgery:
- When dealing with someone who has undergone surgery, the article suggests specific phrases that show empathy and a willingness to offer assistance.
- Key phrases:
- “Sending you healing vibes.”
- “Please let me know if you need a ride or just want to talk.”
- “What was the process like?”
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Considering Relationship Dynamics:
- The article advises individuals to consider the nature of their relationship with the person who is unwell and to let that guide their approach. This emphasizes the importance of tailoring your words to the specific context and closeness of the relationship.
- Key concept: "First, think about the relationship you have with the person and let that guide your approach."
In conclusion, effective communication in situations involving illness requires a combination of empathy, sincerity, and thoughtful consideration of the individual's needs and feelings. The provided phrases and guidance serve as valuable tools in navigating these sensitive conversations and offering genuine support to friends, family, or colleagues facing health challenges.
