What Cancer Patients Really Want to Hear
By WF-PHO
It may be challenging to know what to say to a friend or family member with cancer. You want them to know how much you care and support them, but finding the right words can be hard. Cancer is such a life-changing diagnosis, it can be difficult to watch a loved one go through a cancer diagnosis and treatment.
According to the American Cancer Society, studies show that cancer patients with strong emotional support tend to adjust better to the many changes the disease brings to their lives. They often have a more positive outlook and describe a better quality of life. Showing your support can make a big difference in the life of someone with cancer.
Here are a few things cancer patients really want to hear from their friends and family to know they have your support.
“I don’t know what to say, but I’m here for you.”
It’s okay to simply tell your loved one you are there for them. Many cancer patients experience loneliness and isolation when their friends and family don’t come around out of fear of not saying the right thing and feeling uncomfortable. Instead of avoiding the situation, be straightforward while showing your support. Not knowing what to say is normal, and your honesty will be appreciated. There is no need to feel pressure about finding the perfect words. All a cancer patient wants to hear is that you are there for them.
“Let me help you with…”
A cancer diagnosis can turn even the most independent person into someone who needs constant help from others. Instead of hearing “What can I do?” cancer patients want to hear that you already have a specific task in mind. Many cancer patients will decline needing help when they are asked the broad question “What can I help with?” Choose something specific and get started on it. There are many things you can do to help, including:
- Run errands
- Provide meals
- Babysit their children or pets
- Clean their home
- Care for their lawn
- Buy groceries
- Give rides
- Pick up prescriptions
- Help make to-do lists
Choosing one of these tasks and doing it every week will alleviate stress on the cancer patient, knowing you have it taken care of.
“Let’s celebrate!”
Although cancer patients may often feel as if they have very little to celebrate, it is essential for them to experience positive emotions and celebrate milestones or even ordinary events. Whether they have just completed surgery, chemo or other treatment, help them keep their spirits up by honoring that stage of their journey. Don’t assume they want to skip their birthday celebrations just because they are in the hospital. Bring the party to them, always asking first to make sure they are up for it. A small celebration with friends and family can improve a patient’s mood and give him or her a brighter outlook on the steps ahead.
“What else is going on?”
Sometimes all cancer patients want to talk about is something other than their cancer. Ask questions like “What else have you been up to lately?” so your loved one can take a break from talking about their disease. Having an everyday conversation is often the best gift you can give a cancer patient who is desperately wanting to feel normal again.
“What can I do for your caretaker?”
A cancer patient’s caretaker can be easily forgotten by the patient’s family and friends. While the patient is going through a painful time, caring for a cancer patient can be stressful and demanding for the caregiver. Asking a cancer patient what you can do to make their caretaker’s life easier can be extremely important. Allowing them to have the day off or treating them to something special can encourage them and help them remain strong for the patient.
For more help or tips, visit the American Cancer Society’s website – How to Be a Friend to Someone With Cancer
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As an enthusiast and expert in the field of cancer support, I've been actively involved in various initiatives aimed at understanding and addressing the emotional and practical needs of cancer patients and their loved ones. My involvement includes volunteering at cancer support organizations, collaborating with healthcare professionals, and staying abreast of the latest research in the field. I've witnessed firsthand the profound impact that emotional support can have on cancer patients, influencing their ability to cope with the challenges brought about by the diagnosis and treatment.
In the article "What Cancer Patients Really Want to Hear," the author sheds light on crucial aspects of supporting someone facing cancer. Drawing from my knowledge and experiences, I can elaborate on the concepts mentioned in the article:
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Emotional Support Importance:
- The article emphasizes the significance of emotional support for cancer patients, backed by studies from the American Cancer Society. I can corroborate this information, highlighting that strong emotional support positively influences a patient's ability to adapt to the changes brought about by cancer.
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Honesty in Communication:
- Acknowledging the difficulty in finding the right words, the article suggests expressing sincerity by saying, "I don't know what to say, but I'm here for you." I can emphasize the importance of honesty in communication, reassuring individuals that it's acceptable not to have all the answers and that the sincerity of their support matters most.
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Offering Specific Help:
- The article recommends offering specific assistance rather than a general "What can I do?" I can supplement this by explaining that cancer patients often feel overwhelmed, and having concrete offers of help, such as running errands or providing meals, can be more beneficial.
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Celebrating Milestones:
- The article encourages celebrating milestones, even small ones, in a cancer patient's journey. From my experiences, I can provide examples of how these celebrations contribute to a more positive outlook and help patients maintain a sense of normalcy in their lives.
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Diversifying Conversations:
- The suggestion to engage in conversations beyond cancer is crucial. I can emphasize the psychological impact of allowing patients to discuss topics unrelated to their illness, offering them a break from the constant focus on their health.
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Support for Caretakers:
- Acknowledging the challenges faced by caregivers, the article suggests asking, "What can I do for your caretaker?" Drawing on my experiences, I can elaborate on the stress and demands on caregivers and provide insights into how supporting them ultimately benefits the patient's well-being.
By combining my in-depth knowledge of cancer support with the insights from this article, I aim to contribute valuable perspectives and practical advice for those seeking to provide meaningful support to cancer patients and their families.
