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As a young wife, married for 14 years at the time of this post, I wanted to share a few money lessons that my husband and I have learned over the years either from trial and error or from more seasoned married couples. In this post, I will be discussing the top 10 lessons on money and marriage from couples married at least 10 + years. I can honestly say that these lessons have really helped my own marriage to grow.
So, here is a quick overview of the top 10 lessons on money and marriage from couples married at least 10 + years:
1. Be open and honest
2. Stay in the know
3. Budget together
4. Automate bills
5. Combine your accounts
6. Identify Saver vs. Spender
7. Sleep on It
8. Designate fun money
9. Live on less
10. Earn more
Top 10 Lessons on Money and Marriage
1. Be Open and Honest
Money discussions happen almost every day in our household. Each spouse should be contributing something to the money conversation all the time. Don’t lie or make purchases and hide them. Dishonesty will come to the light!
2. Stay in the Know
Each spouse should know passwords, due dates, bill payments, location of important documents, etc. Create a password-protected spreadsheet with this information so that the partner who is less involved with the monthly finances will know where to pick up if something was to happen to the other spouse.
3. Budget Together
Each month (before the money comes in), each spouse should sit down together to discuss the budget. Make adjustments for holidays/birthdays/other variable or one-off type expenses that might not have been accounted for previously.
4. Automate Bills
This was a game-changer in our marriage! You will save so much time if you learn to budget and automate your bills. I am the nerd in our household and I used to spend a few hours each month logging into several websites to manually pay bills. Once I set up payee accounts with our bank and told our bank how much to pay and when to send the payments each month, this lifted the burden off of me. I will forever be grateful for Bill Pay!
5. Combine Your Accounts
I know some of you might hate me for this. But this really works for my household. Having all the bills paid from one account and all expenses being drawn from the same account just makes managing the money every month so much easier for me. If you want more info about this, read 4 of the Best Reasons Married Couples Should Share Finances.
6. Identify Saver vs. Spender
Each partner must learn their strengths. If one spouse is better at saving, then allow them to take the lead in that area. There must be a balance. One spouse shouldn’t try to change the other spouse.
7. Sleep on It
Whenever you have a huge financial decision to make, it is always good practice to go home, discuss it with your spouse and then sleep on it. Once you’ve agreed on a decision, revisit it the next day. No Buyer’s Remorse!
8. Designate Fun Money
Ensure that each spouse has a line item in the budget for fun money or misc. money or “I want to do whatever I want with this money” money. LOL. This will allow both spouses to spend guilt-free because this has already been budgeted for.
9. Live on Less
If you spend less than you earn, you will stay within your budget and reach your goals quicker. However; in order for this to work, you have to continuously evaluate your income and expenses.
10. Earn More
Two (or more) incomes are better than one. Bringing in more money can ease the stress off of your budget, especially if it doesn’t put a strain on your household. Consider picking up side jobs to help reach your financial goals.
There are dozens of other lessons that could be added to this list. However; try implementing a few at a time before you jump in with full force. If any of these lessons resonate with you, let me know. I may consider adding a part 2 to this.
Until Next Time,
Danielle
FAQs
Communicate clearly and often
Talking with your spouse is one of the best ways to keep your marriage healthy and successful. Be honest about what you're feeling, but be kind and respectful when you communicate.
How long does it take to get over a 10 year marriage? ›
Past studies suggest that it takes a person, on average, eighteen months to move on after divorce, while others simply leave it at “it's complicated.” And that's the truth—divorce is complicated, and because of this, science is only so accurate.
What does the Bible say about marriage and finances? ›
What does Scripture say? God's designed marriages to pursue oneness in every aspect of the marriage, including finances (1 Corinthians 7:4).
How do most married couples handle finances? ›
Couples can manage their money with separate accounts, a joint account, or some combination of the two. Separate accounts help avoid arguments but take more planning, and you may lose out on the best way to manage your family money.
What are the 3 C's of a successful marriage? ›
There are three main things that happily married couples do to maintain a healthy relationship. They are committed, communicate well and aren't afraid to compromise. These are the three C's of happy marriage.
What are the 5 C's in marriage? ›
Hence, the Five C's: Communication, Commitment, Compassion, Compatibility, and Chemistry. These basic tenets combine with other personality traits that shape personality profiles, which then influence behaviors, which are ultimately expressed in actions (statements and deeds).
How long does it take for a man to miss you? ›
On average, it takes about 8 weeks for him to miss you.
For most men, it takes about this long for them to process the loss and discover that they miss you. Men usually go into denial mode immediately after a breakup, so it might take him a week or two to even realize that you're gone for good.
What is the walk away wife syndrome? ›
There's a term for this: walkaway wife syndrome. This term is sometimes used to describe instances where a spouse – often the wife – has felt alone, neglected, and resentful in a deteriorating marriage and decides it's time to end it.
How long does it take for a man to realize he lost a good woman? ›
Some of us men realize it right away, others maybe never. From reading your question, it sounds like your relationship has drifted apart. It is natural to lament if you still have feelings for him or what you had but if he has truly moved on, there are a lot of other men who might realize it right away.
Should a husband support his wife financially? ›
The financial role of a husband in a marriage varies. It depends on the couple's values, expectations, and circ*mstances. It also comes down to the evolving work world. Women are now breadwinners or earn around the same as their partners in 45% of American households.
'Seriously consider' splitting bills by income
Couples should list all the household expenses, including fixed costs and an average for the variable costs, then split those costs according to income and deposit their allotted amounts monthly in a joint account, said Curtis.
Who should pay the bills in a relationship? ›
Some may take turns, share the bill, or follow the rule that whoever requests pays. Couples may decide to split expenditures equally, move in together, or even combine their savings as their relationship progresses. It is entirely up to the pair and how they wish to handle money in their relationship.
What is the #1 cause of divorce? ›
Lack of commitment is the most common reason given by divorcing couples according to a recent national survey. Here are the reasons given and their percentages: Lack of commitment 73% Argue too much 56%
How should bills be split in a marriage? ›
Splitting shared bills down the middle is one of the easiest approaches to a joint financial life. Each person pays half. This straightforward approach makes budgeting as a couple consistent. Each person pays half the rent, subscriptions or insurance from individual accounts.
What is the 50 30 20 rule? ›
The 50-30-20 rule recommends putting 50% of your money toward needs, 30% toward wants, and 20% toward savings. The savings category also includes money you will need to realize your future goals.
What is the number one thing successful couples never do? ›
In one study, we were able to predict with 94% accuracy whether or not a relationship would last — after observing a couple for just 15 minutes. Ultimately, we've found that there's one thing successful couples never do: take each other for granted.
What are the four pillars of a strong marriage? ›
Couples also need to able to understand one's own emotions, then each other's emotions and be able to empathize with each other in order address each other's needs. So we talked about the 4 pillars of a relationship. Commitment, Trust, Respect and Communication.
What are the 7 love keys to a successful marriage? ›
Gottman's 7 Principles
- 1) Sharing love maps.
- 2) Nurturing fondness and admiration.
- 3) Turning toward each other, instead of away.
- 4) Letting your partner influence you.
- 5) Solving your solvable problems.
- 6) Overcoming gridlock.
- 7) Creating shared meaning together.
