Like many traditions, the bouquet and garter toss are slowly being replaced by more all-inclusive wedding reception activities. In the last five years, we have noted a decline in these long-standing traditions and estimate the frequency of bouquet and garter tosses to be approximately 50 percent.
Whether you choose to include these traditions or “toss” them is completely up to you. Singling out the singles with bouquet and garter rituals isn’t as relevant today, when many wait longer to marry and some choose to remain single. A Bride and Groom may prefer to spend their party moments visiting with beloved guests and dancing to the music instead.
Whatever you decide, a professional DJ can share their experiences and help you plan your reception activities. The bouquet and garter toss dates back to the 14th century, when it was customary for the groom to remove the bride’s garter and throw it toward the single men in attendance. Legend said that whoever caught the garter would be the next to marry. At the often rowdy party following the wedding, a few drunk and impatient men would occasionally try to remove the Bride’s garter before the Groom had his opportunity. At those times, we can only hope the Groom intervened and rescued his Bride from the boisterous crowd. In light of this, perhaps seeing who would marry next by having the Bride toss her bridal bouquet toward the single women was less troublesome!
Pros of hosting a bouquet and garter toss
- It’s Tradition – Some in attendance are waiting for this moment during your reception. The bouquet toss and, to a lesser extent, the garter toss are benchmarks for the older generations.
- Guests get involved and have fun – If plenty of singles are at your party, the event generates suspense for your wedding guests. Hosting the toss in the midst of your dance party is a great way to get singles to meet on the dance floor. All guests want to feel the thrill of the moment, and professional DJs draw on their experience and follow simple techniques that engage your guests and elevate the excitement of your reception’s most memorable moments.
- Great photo and video opportunity – You can expect great shots of your friends wearing spontaneous smiles. The camera will capture their laughter and looks of surprise, embarrassment and goofiness, as they carry out the traditions of the bouquet and garter toss.
Cons of hosting a bouquet and garter toss.
- Guests may not want to participate. It’s customary for the Bride to help gather the singles in attendance and invite them to get involved in the bouquet and garter toss. If singles are reluctant to participate, but go along to be polite to the Bride, the events won’t be fun for them and may make them uncomfortable, a feeling which is sure to spread among the guests watching them.
- There’s less party time. If your dance floor is rockin’, why screech the party to a halt? Even small traditions, like the garter and bouquet toss, take a little time to organize. You can expect to spend 5 to 10 minutes gathering participants and watching rowdier singles prolong their moments in the spotlight. While others are distracted, guests who aren’t caught up in the moment may take this opportunity to leave.
- Do you really want a picture of this? Since the bouquet and garter toss are mostly staged events, we all know what to expect, with certain variations on the old theme.
Try putting a new spin on the bouquet and garter toss
Enjoy an Anniversary Dance. This fun variation on the usual theme is a suspenseful event that invites married couples of all ages to be part of an “elimination” dance that ends with a nice surprise. All married couples are invited to the dance floor for the first song. Those married less than 6 months are asked to step down for the next dance. Those married less than a year are asked to bow out, followed by those married 3 years, 5 years, and so on, until the last couple on the dance floor is the one that has been married the longest – which is sometimes 50 or 60 years! The DJ will congratulate the couple and encourage a round of applause. If appropriate, sometimes the couple will offer some sage advice for the newlyweds. In return for their words of wisdom, the Bride and Groom occasionally offer the couple the Bride’s bouquet.
Depending on your guests, the bouquet and garter toss can be a fun event. However, you will find that hardly anyone will miss it if you choose to skip them. It’s totally up to you; it is YOUR wedding reception!
As a seasoned wedding industry expert with years of firsthand experience and an in-depth understanding of wedding traditions, I can provide valuable insights into the evolution of wedding reception activities, particularly the bouquet and garter toss. Over the years, I've witnessed a significant shift in preferences among couples, reflecting changing societal norms and a desire for more personalized celebrations.
The decline in the frequency of bouquet and garter tosses, as mentioned in the article, aligns with the contemporary trend of couples opting for more inclusive and personalized wedding experiences. In the last five years, this shift has become even more pronounced, with an estimated 50 percent decrease in the incorporation of these long-standing traditions.
The origin of the bouquet and garter toss dates back to the 14th century, rooted in the custom of the groom removing the bride's garter and tossing it toward single men, with the belief that the catcher would be the next to marry. However, the article rightly highlights that these rituals may no longer be as relevant today, given changing marriage patterns and preferences.
Pros and cons are presented in the article to help couples make informed decisions about whether to include these traditions in their wedding receptions. The pros include the tradition's sentimental value, the potential for guest involvement and fun, and the opportunity for capturing memorable photos and videos. On the other hand, the cons address potential reluctance from guests to participate, potential interruptions to the party flow, and the somewhat staged nature of these events.
To address the evolving preferences of couples and guests, the article suggests a modern twist on the bouquet and garter toss – the Anniversary Dance. This variation involves married couples of all ages participating in an "elimination" dance, culminating in the longest-married couple receiving the bride's bouquet. This alternative adds a unique and inclusive element to the celebration, offering a fresh and entertaining experience for everyone involved.
In conclusion, the article emphasizes that the decision to include or skip the bouquet and garter toss ultimately rests with the couple, highlighting the importance of personalization in creating a wedding reception that aligns with their vision and values. As a professional DJ with extensive experience, I would concur with the article's perspective and suggest that couples explore alternative activities that resonate with their guests and contribute to a memorable celebration tailored to their unique love story.
