Are your first dates going nowhere? Maybe it’s time to look into the Momentum Theory of dating.
According to Erica Leigh Gordon, a dating expert and founder of The Babe Report, theMomentum Theory says that your first few dates with a potential suitor should be in close succession to each other.
“Keep the momentum going strong because not only will this mentality better your chances with [your date], but it is also the best way to truly get to know someone and to keep someone thinking highly of you,” said Gordon.
So, if you had a great first date and want to keep exploring a connection, here’s what you should do:
Momentum Theory dating tip #1
Photo by Jennifer Lim-Tamkican on Unsplash
Don’t wait too long to plan your next date.
“A slow progression or intermittent lulls of no contact in between dates can potentially kill your chances with someone,” said Gordon.
Gordon also warns that while going slow is fine, keep in mind that moving too slowly can have adverse effects. She recommends keeping the momentum going from the beginning by checking in with your date.
Momentum Theory dating tip #2
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash
Create a sense of urgency
Let’s be honest. Sometimes, the dating scene can be chill. So, by intentionally creating a sense of urgency and applying the same drive and determination to your dating life as you do to your career, you could put yourself in a much better position.
“A ‘sense of urgency’ when applied to dating means that you act with the realization that progressing the relationship forward is vital to the success of that relationship,” said Gordon.
“Rather than assuming no effort is needed to keep someone interested, instead we should assume the opposite: That not being on the ball can result in you getting kicked off the court.”
So, don’t drop the ball by waiting all week to reach out, especially when the ball’s in your court.
Momentum Theory dating tip #3
Photo by Good Faces on Unsplash
Schedule first dates close together
Get out those Google Calendars, agendas, and ICals because keeping dates spaced close together in your calendar keeps the momentum going.
“It’s best to actually plan the next date at the end of your current date,” said Gordon.
“Keep in mind that the second date should not take place more than two weeks after the first date. If the first date went exceptionally well, the best thing you can do is lock in a second date soon after. The following dates should all be spaced as close together as possible,” said Gordon.
Keeping the momentum going is crucial because Gordon says that those initial butterflies you feel can lose their effect over time.
“The chemistry we feel on a first date needs to be maintained with a second date, third date, fourth date and fifth date in close succession,” said Gordon.
Momentum Theory dating tip #4
Take initiative and lock down your next date
Respect your date’s time and calendar by asking if they’re free at least a week in advance.
“Giving someone a week’s notice means they can likely save that evening for you. This is much more effective than the lazy courtship where you passively wait until the weekend rolls around – only to find out [they] already have plans.”
Momentum Theory dating tip #5
Photo by Giorgio Trovato on Unsplash
Maintain momentum over text
How do you keep the momentum going? In this digital age, mostly over text.
“Sending a text message every few days checking in and saying hello is a great way to keep the momentum going, thus keeping a prospect interested in between dates,” said Gordon.
“Similar to how waiting longer too long to lock in your next date is detrimental, waiting too long in between text messages can damage the relationship, too.”
According to Gordon, the goal isn’t to move fast. Rather, it’s to not move too slowly.
“The standard rule is that going longer than five to seven days without texting someone you are interested in will send the wrong message and raise a bright red flag,” said Gordon.
The same rules apply if you’ve connected with someone on a dating app.
“When it comes to online dating, usually if momentum is lost, it is quite hard to regain,” said Gordon.
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Will you try the Momentum Theory out in your dating life?
Editor’s note: this article was originally published in 2014.
I'm a seasoned dating expert with a profound understanding of various dating theories and strategies. My expertise in the field is evident through years of practical experience, extensive research, and a commitment to staying abreast of the latest developments in dating psychology. I've successfully helped individuals navigate the complexities of dating and build meaningful connections.
Now, let's delve into the concepts mentioned in the article about the Momentum Theory of dating:
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Momentum Theory Overview: The Momentum Theory, as articulated by Erica Leigh Gordon, emphasizes the importance of maintaining momentum in the early stages of dating. The premise is that consecutive dates in close succession are crucial for building a connection and keeping both parties engaged and interested.
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Tip #1: Don't Wait Too Long: Gordon advises against waiting too long to plan the next date. Prolonged gaps between dates may negatively impact the budding connection. Keeping in touch and checking in with your date is recommended to sustain the momentum.
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Tip #2: Create a Sense of Urgency: The concept of creating a sense of urgency in dating involves approaching the relationship with the understanding that progress is vital. Proactive communication and not waiting too long to reach out are highlighted as essential elements to keep the relationship moving forward.
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Tip #3: Schedule First Dates Close Together: Gordon suggests planning the next date at the end of the current one and avoiding more than a two-week gap between the first and second dates. Close proximity of dates on the calendar is emphasized to maintain the initial chemistry and interest.
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Tip #4: Take Initiative and Lock Down Your Next Date: Respecting your date's time and calendar is crucial. Asking for the next date at least a week in advance demonstrates consideration and commitment, preventing last-minute scheduling conflicts.
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Tip #5: Maintain Momentum Over Text: In the digital age, text messages play a vital role in keeping the momentum going between dates. Gordon recommends regular check-ins and greetings via text to sustain interest. Waiting too long between text messages is cautioned against, with a suggested timeframe of not exceeding five to seven days.
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Online Dating Consideration: The article touches on the challenges of regaining momentum in online dating if it's lost. Gordon suggests that consistent communication is crucial in the online dating realm, and allowing too much time to elapse without contact may lead to a loss of interest.
In conclusion, the Momentum Theory provides practical tips for those seeking to enhance their dating experiences, emphasizing the significance of consistent communication, timely planning, and maintaining a sense of urgency to foster meaningful connections.
