Should You Marry Someone With Debt? (2024)

You’re in love!…but your significant other has debt (some student loan debt, credit card debt, car loans, etc.). So you are wondering: Should you marry someone with debt?

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Should You Marry Someone With Debt? (1)

Are you one of the unicorns? One of those people that never had debt…or worked incredibly hard to pay off their debt? If so, that’s awesome!

But what do you do if you’re in love with someone in debt? The thought of going into debt for the first time…or for the second time… can be scary, unnerving, or feel downright crazy.

I don’t blame you for feeling unsure of marrying someone with debt. Nobody would ever choose to go into debt.

But you did choose your significant other, and sometimes, they come with debt. But should you marry them? Should you make them a permanent part of their life, and invite their debt to move in too?

Let me walk you through how to make that decision:

First, ignore the debt

Take money out of the situation. Without thinking about their financial situation, is this the person you want to marry? Is this your best friend, the person you love most, the person you want to grow old with? If so, keep on reading 😉

Are you on the same page with how to deal with their debt?

This is important. If you aren’t on the same page with how to deal with their debt, your marriage is going to suffer. You need to talk to your significant other about money. There’s no way around it. Here are some questions that you guys need to discuss together.

Do you both want to pay off the debt now?

If so, how aggressive do you want to be with it?

What method are you going to use (Debt Snowball Method, Debt Avalanche Method, or a customized plan?). Are you both willing to create a written debt payoff plan?

In other words, does their attitude about their debt align with yours?

After discussing these things, if you are the same page, then great! But what if you aren’t? What if you want to pay off this debt ASAP but they are okay with just making minimum payments? Well, that’s not going to work. Make a plan to pay off this debt that you can both agree on. You both may need to compromise.

Do you both agree not to get back into debt?

This goes along with the second point: Are you guys on the same page financially? If your significant other had a lot of credit card debt, are they willing to toss the cards away? Will you guys ever go back into debt? What about for a mortgage? Make sure you agree on when it is and isn’t okay to go back into debt.

Are you going to feel resentful over this debt?

Will you feel resentful over this debt? Are you going to willingly attack this debt together?

Or are you going to drag your feet, complain, and make your significant other feel bad about this debt? If so, that’s not fair to them. Don’t marry them if you are going to make them feel like they’ll forever owe you, or be inferior to you, because they brought debt into the marriage.

Are you willing to help them get out of debt?

Once you get married, you’re a team. No one player is more valuable than the other. You have to work together and support each other to get things done.

Are you willing to help your significant other get out of debt? Or are you going to leave them high and dry? You need to be willing to provide them with your full support. Otherwise, don’t get married.

You have to be willing to sacrifice a little. After all, there’s a great present at the end – a debt-free life with the love of your life.

So, should I marry someone with debt?

Heck YES…as long as you guys are on the same page with how to deal with the debt!

Consider the debt the first thing you guys can tackle and conquer together as husband and wife. It’ll make you stronger. Don’t let money dictate every part of your life. But make sure you (and your partner) are making smart financial decisions together.

You both need to have the same attitude and approach to dealing with the debt.

Did you marry someone with debt? Or did you have debt and marry someone without debt? How did this affect your marriage?

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Should You Marry Someone With Debt? (2024)

FAQs

Should You Marry Someone With Debt? ›

“Debt can put a big strain on a marriage,” Dearing says. “Legally, you're not liable for debt your spouse had before you got married. But once you're married, you will likely be involved in paying off your spouse's debts. That's why it's important to be open with about how much you owe before you get married.

Should I marry someone who has a lot of debt? ›

Understand how their debt can affect your future

This can also impact you both in case of a divorce down the road. One partner having student loan debt could delay or prevent you both from making life changes like getting a mortgage or starting a family.

What happens if you marry someone with bad debt? ›

Marrying a person with a bad credit history won't affect your own credit record. You and your spouse will continue to have separate credit reports after you marry. However, any debts that you take on jointly will be reported on both your and your spouse's credit reports.

Can debt ruin a marriage? ›

It doesn't matter if your rich or poor, debt can break your marriage into little pieces. Credit card debt is “an equal-opportunity marriage destroyer,” says Jeffrey Dew, a Utah State University professor in the Department of Family, Consumer, and Human Development whose research examines the impact of debt on marriage.

Should you break up with someone over debt? ›

You need to take a serious look at your relationship. If your spouse is unwilling to do what it takes to eliminate the debt, is not remorseful about getting into debt, or doesn't feel responsible for their actions, you may want to consider breaking up or filing for divorce to save your sanity.

Should I marry a guy who is not financially stable? ›

If financial stability is important to you then move on to someone else. He does not sound like he is good with finances and will only create more grief should you marry him. Sit down and talk to him and let him know your feelings about his situation with finances.

Can debt ruin a relationship? ›

The lack of financial health can be a major source of discord in a marriage or other relationship. The weight of mounting credit card debts and creditor calls can take a toll on any relationship. Individuals who are stuck in a financial rut may consider exploring bankruptcy as an option.

Should I marry someone with bad credit? ›

No, marrying someone with poor credit won't lower your credit score because the credit reports are separate. However, your spouse's credit does affect shared financing options, so it is best to address issues with credit before applying for shared credit accounts.

How many marriages end because of debt? ›

Many married couples do things together like buy a home, start a family, and take vacations. These things all cost money, and of course, most of us don't have hundreds of thousands of dollars lying around.

Will my husband's bad credit affect me? ›

If your spouse has a bad credit score, it will not affect your credit score. However, when you apply for loans together, like mortgages, lenders will look at both your scores. If one of you has a poor credit score, it counts against you both. You may not qualify for the best interest rates or the loan could be denied.

How to deal with a partner in debt? ›

4 steps to take when you or your partner is in debt
  1. Step 1: Communicate. Communication is key to any sort of relationship, whether it be with a family member, friend or spouse. ...
  2. Step 2: Find solutions. ...
  3. Step 3: Budget together. ...
  4. Step 4: Help each other's credit.

How do I protect myself from my husband's debt? ›

You can protect yourself from your spouse's debt by signing a prenuptial agreement before you get married and avoid taking out joint credit. It's especially important to protect equity in your home during a divorce to ensure you get your fair share, since this is likely the largest asset you have.

Should a wife help her husband financially? ›

The wife should contribute, but she should not be forced by her husband. If she says she cannot do it, then the husband should let it go and manage to pay what he can. But fundamentally, it is always advisable to marry a woman who is financially buoyant enough for you two to plan about he future of your family.

Should I date someone with debt? ›

Debt doesn't have to be a deal-breaker. But living with someone that has debt problems can make your life more complicated financially. This could be something you're happy to live with, but it's important to go into it with your eyes open.

Are finances a reason to end a relationship? ›

It is no secret that financial matters can be a significant source of stress in relationships. Disagreements over spending habits, debt, and financial goals often lead to conflict. Money-related tensions can escalate quickly, causing resentment and even the breakup of an otherwise decent relationship.

How much debt is too much for a person? ›

Generally speaking, a good debt-to-income ratio is anything less than or equal to 36%. Meanwhile, any ratio above 43% is considered too high. The biggest piece of your DTI ratio pie is bound to be your monthly mortgage payment.

Should you marry someone with bad credit? ›

No, marrying someone with poor credit won't lower your credit score because the credit reports are separate. However, your spouse's credit does affect shared financing options, so it is best to address issues with credit before applying for shared credit accounts.

Would you date someone with a lot of debt? ›

Debt getting in the way of relationships

That's why only 4.54% of Americans said that they would reconsider a relationship with someone who had a mortgage, and 3.15% said they'd have an issue with an auto loan.

How much debt does the average married couple have? ›

Married People Carry More Than Double the Debt of Singles
Average Total Debt by Marital Status
Married$112,627
Single$51,264
U.S. Average$92,479
Feb 24, 2020

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