Money Therapy - How to Merge Your Finances for Newlyweds (2024)

So, you're in love! Congratulations! You have found your person you want to be with for the rest of your life. You've started wedding planning and have been "pinteresting" your dream life. The house, the car, the kids, and the great jobs. The one thing you're still scratching your head about is "how do we get here?"

Next comes the dreaded "personal finance" chat. Will you merge your finances? Won't you? Does your fiance have debt? If so, are you okay being responsible for half of that? There are so many uncomfortable financial questions that should be addressed before you get married. However, the beautiful thing is that not one type of financial situation is right for every couple. Here are five steps to start deciding if merging your finances is right for both of you:

First things first, where do you stand as an individual? You need to have your finances figured out before you tackle your net worth as a couple. To find out where you stand, I recommend using personal capital. Personal capital is an app that aggregates your information from your bank, retirement accounts, credit cards, and any other financial type of account you may have. From there, it shows you areas you can improve if necessary. It also may be the first time you honestly take a look at your net worth. You may be surprised what you find out from your financial situation! Combining your life in marriage is fantastic, but you are still an individual with hopes and dreams of your own that you may need some financing for. Can you make those things happen with your funds?

Ask that your partner also to do step one. You both should do step one separately so that you can come up with your thoughts regarding each’s financial situation. Once you both do step one, set up a dedicated time to meet and discuss each person’s financial situation. Note: you may want a glass of wine for this! After everything has been laid out, be honest about your concerns within your financial situation as well as your partners. The hardest step of the process can be this meeting. You may not want to offend your partner, but you need to discuss your dreams and concerns considering their financial situation will now be yours if you decide to merge. You may find out that you are a spender where your partner is a saver. Is this going to be possible to combine your financial situation if you think differently about money? As you can see, there is a lot to discuss.

Once you've spoken about your concerns, evaluate if you need help from a third party. Are your financials far off or are you on the same track? Does one partner have beliefs about money that you do not hold? Do you foresee this as being an issue? Speaking to a professional can help you establish healthy guidelines for your life as well as goals that you can set together. Seeking help before you are married can save your marriage. The number one reason for divorce is money. Make sure that you make getting on the same page regarding your finances is just as important as wedding planning.

If you need help, establish meetings together. Don't allow your partner to dominate the situation or cop out completely. You both need to be present when dealing with your finances. If down the road you both have decided that one person will handle the majority of your funds that is fine too. However, in the beginning, it is crucial that you both understand what is going on. You may learn that doing your finances isn't as difficult as you thought and you enjoy the process of building wealth with your partner. It is also an activity that will establish trust and mutual understanding as a couple.

Merging your life doesn't necessarily mean every couple needs to combine their finances. Sometimes I urge clients not to. The most critical step is that you decide on how you will be proceeding. Once a decision has been made you will feel a significant burden lifted. You finally have a plan in place, and you can go back to your Pinterest board!

Money Therapy  - How to Merge Your Finances for Newlyweds (2024)

FAQs

What percentage of married couples combine finances? ›

39% of couples had combined all their finances, 39% kept things completely separate, and 22% did a partial combination. A final survey I can bring to your attention is conducted by creditcards.com with a sample size of 2,404 adults. In their survey, they found that 43% of couples had only joint accounts.

How Suze Orman recommends couples should fairly split their finances? ›

Use Percentages

“This is what I want you to do,” Orman continued. She suggested combining both incomes of $3,000 and $7,000 to make $10,000. And then divide that into the household expenses which is $3,000. Expenses divided by income should give you a percentage of 30%.

What is the 50 30 20 rule? ›

Do not subtract other amounts that may be withheld or automatically deducted, like health insurance or retirement contributions. Those will become part of your budget. The 50-30-20 rule recommends putting 50% of your money toward needs, 30% toward wants, and 20% toward savings.

What accounts to combine after marriage? ›

Combine your bank accounts and credit cards.

Budgeting is easier and more organized when your money is in one place. A joint savings account also helps you work toward taking your next vacation or purchasing a new home. Visit a bank together and speak to a specialist about account options.

Why are the most successful marriages startups not mergers? ›

This was because long-standing corporate cultures are very hard to integrate, with the result that productivity and morale fall off after a merger. One company might have a warm, convivial culture, whereas the other is formal and hierarchical, for example. Mixing them can be difficult to impossible.

Can you get married without combining finances? ›

There's no rule that getting married means you have to combine everything, including money. For couples in certain situations, such as blended families, couples with financial incompatibility or a spouse with an inheritance, it may be best to keep at least some finances separate.

How should finances be split in a marriage? ›

The easiest setup is to have a joint account that both fund to pay shared expenses. Then each partner can have separate accounts to pay for individual assets. Both partners share the financial burden of day-to-day expenses while maintaining financial independence.

What is financial infidelity in a marriage? ›

Financial infidelity occurs when one partner hides or misrepresents financial information from the other, such as keeping secret bank accounts or hiding purchases. It does not necessarily involve marital infidelity, though it can lead to divorce.

How does a $500 monthly allowance save our marriage? ›

Once upon a time, such spending was a huge, homewrecker of an issue for us. But in September of 2010, my husband, Chris, and I adopted an allowance system. Ever since, we've granted each other $500 a month to spend however we want, no questions asked. And this is how we're still married.

Should couples split bills 50/50? ›

There isn't any right or wrong way to split bills. It's all about open communication and what's important to each person. It's perfectly normal to split any bill, whether an electricity bill or a dinner bill — but you don't have to split every bill every time.

How do you blend finances in a marriage? ›

To start, leave some of your accounts separate. Then, try starting a joint account for shared expenses, such as rent, groceries and utilities. Make a list that outlines assets (investments, bank accounts) and debts (student loans, credit cards) and who they belong to and what you'll split.

What percent of couples combine finances? ›

Nearly 2 in 5 couples, or 39%, of couples who live together completely combine their finances, whether they're married or not, according to a new report by Bankrate. Yet, this is not completely the case across generations.

Should married couples keep their money separate? ›

Bottom line. If you're married or living with your partner, you can choose to keep your finances separate. But even in this case, you'll still have shared goals and expenses that call for a budget. Just like with anything in a relationship, communication is key.

How do I merge my bank accounts for newlyweds? ›

If you and your spouse already have accounts at the same bank, the process is simple. Both parties should be present, with valid IDs, then you can close one spouse's account completely, transfer their money to the other spouse's account, and add their name.

How do most married couples split finances? ›

Some couples pay their household bills from a joint account to which both partners contribute. Others divide the bills, with each partner paying their share from their individual accounts. It's also important to make sure the division of bills is fair and equitable for both partners.

Should you combine finances in second marriage? ›

When it comes time to merge your finances for your second marriage, some people choose joint accounts while others may want to maintain separate accounts. There's no one-size-fits-all solution, but there are ways to decide which path is right for you.

Should I combine my finances with my husband? ›

Pros of Combining Finances With Your Partner

By having a joint account, you can easily track your income and expenses, pay bills and save for your shared goals. You don't have to worry about splitting costs or transferring money between accounts. Build trust and transparency.

Top Articles
Latest Posts
Article information

Author: Amb. Frankie Simonis

Last Updated:

Views: 6598

Rating: 4.6 / 5 (56 voted)

Reviews: 95% of readers found this page helpful

Author information

Name: Amb. Frankie Simonis

Birthday: 1998-02-19

Address: 64841 Delmar Isle, North Wiley, OR 74073

Phone: +17844167847676

Job: Forward IT Agent

Hobby: LARPing, Kitesurfing, Sewing, Digital arts, Sand art, Gardening, Dance

Introduction: My name is Amb. Frankie Simonis, I am a hilarious, enchanting, energetic, cooperative, innocent, cute, joyous person who loves writing and wants to share my knowledge and understanding with you.