Leaving your child alone (2024)

Guidelines for Leaving Your Child Alone

Guidelines for Leaving Your Child Alone

Deciding when your child is ready to stay home alone is a difficult decision forparents. There is no set age, either prescribed by law or by child development experts. It comes down to a judgment call on the part of parents.

Fortunately, there are some guidelines and certain factors to consider, as well as things to do if you decide to leave your children home alone

To decide if your child can take care of himself or herself, consider:

  • The child's age. Experts believe there is no one age that can decide whether a child can be left alone or allowed to care for a younger child. These questions vary by child and are subject to cultural and community-specific variations. Some children who are school-ready may be old enough to be alone briefly or may safely play outside or walk to school while other children are not ready even when they are teenagers.
  • The child's maturity. Can your child think things through, plan ahead, and make good decisions.
  • The child's ability to handle urgent situations. Your child should show good judgment and follow your rules. Your child should know how to get help, what to do in a fire, how to deal with visitors and callers, etc.
  • The environment. Is it safe? Are there people nearby who can be trusted to watch out for your child?
  • How long your child will be alone. An hour or two might be fine; a day may be too long.
  • The child's feelings. If your child is nervous about being alone or isn't sure he or she can handle certain situations, your child is not ready.

If you feel your child can stay alone, give your child what he or she needs to be safe, including: The house key. Have your child keep it in a safe, but hidden place, like a zippered part of your child's backpack.

Phone numbers. Post a phone number where you can be reachedand numbers of two neighbors who are likely to be home and who have agreed to look out for your child. Let your neighbor's know what time your child comes home from school.

Safety rules.
When home alone, your child should:
  • not enter the house if he or she sees something suspicious (e.g. an open door, broken window, strange people). The child should go to a neighbor's house, call 911, then you and not let anyone in. Delivery people can be told to go to a neighbor's house and repair people can come back.
  • not tell anyone he or she is home alone. If someone calls, your child can say, "My mother (father) can't come to the phone right now. Can I take a message?"
  • not go to anyone's house without your permission.
  • Schedule a time each day to check in with one another.
Teach your child:
  • When to call 911 and what to say.
  • How to prevent fires and what to do if one breaks out (E.g. get out of the house fast and call 911 from a neighbor's house).
  • Basic first aid (some towns offer courses for children). Some towns and employers offer a "home alone" class for children; ask your town recreation department, school or employer.

Try leaving your child home alone for an hour or two and see how he or she does before you do it long term.

Each day, talk to your child about what he or she did during the day. Ask your child often how he or she feels about staying home alone. Review safety rules.

If you, or your child have any doubts, it is best to make other arrangements. Maybe another parent, college student, or local after-school program can help out.

If you need to find care for your child, check with INFOLINE (2-1-1), your relatives, neighbors and friends, your child's school, your city or town parks and recreation department, or a local YMCA/YWCA.


See Also
FactSheet for Families "Leaving Your Child Home Alone" (U.S. Departmentof Health and Human Services)


Leaving your child alone (2024)

FAQs

Leaving your child alone? ›

Sixteen states require or recommend a minimum age – from 6 to 14 – at which parents can leave a child at home alone, according to a March 2023 aggregated report. California is one of 34 states that has no minimum age requirement or recommendation.

What are the effects of separation of mother children? ›

Children who experienced a separation from their mother within the first two years of life exhibited significantly higher levels of aggressive behaviors at ages 3 and 5 than children who had not experienced an early separation. Additionally, early separation was related to child negativity at age 3 (β= . 05, p < .

What are the psychological effects of being separated from your child? ›

There is tremendous injury inflicted upon the family unit and parents. For both parents and children, separation leads to increased risks of depression, difficulty with social functioning, attachment issues, and PTSD.

What happens when a child is left alone a lot? ›

The result is that many kids left alone don't develop the social skills of their peers. In order to stay safe, they aren't out playing with other kids and learning how to get along. Obesity is common. Being home alone and staying indoors means that many of these kids aren't running around or biking or playing.

How long can I leave my child alone? ›

Up until they're 10 years old, they "should not be left alone for more than 1½ hours and only during daylight and early evening hours," she suggests. That time doubles once the child is 11, and by 13, she says kids can be left alone for even longer than that, but not overnight.

What is cold mother syndrome? ›

Cold mother syndrome refers to a parenting style characterized by emotional distance, dismissiveness, and rejection. This type of mothering is often accompanied by a lack of emotional availability and neglect of a child's emotional needs.

What is depleted mother syndrome? ›

Mom burnout sometimes called depleted mother syndrome, is the feeling of mental, emotional, and physical exhaustion, depersonalization, and lack of fulfillment caused by intense child care demands. Burnout is the result of too much stress and a lack of resources for coping with it.

How does not seeing your child affect you? ›

Losing daily contact with your child can feel devastating. Going from being with your children all the time to limited visits will be a big adjustment. You might feel angry, upset and helpless, especially at the beginning. You may even feel a sense of grief or loss.

How does a mother leaving affect a child? ›

The long-term effects of childhood abandonment leaves scars. According to Shirley Davis, of the CPTSD Foundation, “When parents abandon their children, their kids grow up feeling unsafe in the world and feeling that people cannot be trusted.”

How does parental separation affect a child's brain? ›

It takes up until our mid-20s for our brains to fully mature. Any serious and prolonged adversity, such as a sudden, unexpected and lasting separation from a caretaker, changes the structure of the developing brain. It damages a child's ability to process emotion and leaves scars that are profound and lifelong.

What is lonely child syndrome? ›

Only children syndrome is the term for the negative traits that people may associate with children with no siblings. These traits can include selfishness or loneliness. The idea of only child syndrome may originate from the work in the 1800s of child psychologists, including E. W. Bohannon.

What is isolated child syndrome? ›

The child's 'isolated' state manifests itself in defective social interaction and communication between mother and child, in disorders of perceptual function and motor skills, in stereotyped behaviour and in general developmental retardation, especially in language.

What does loneliness do to a child? ›

Childhood loneliness is associated with anxiety and depressive disorders in young adults, suggesting that loneliness – even in childhood – might have long-term costs in terms of mental health.

How long can a 10 year old stay home alone in MN? ›

Children 7 and under may not be left alone for any period of time. Children 8 - 10 may not be left alone for more than three hours. Children 11 - 13 may not be left alone for more than 12 hours. Children 14 - 15 may not be left alone for more than 24 hours.

How long can a 10 year old stay home alone in Texas? ›

Answer: Texas law doesn't say what age is old enough for a child to stay at home alone. However, adequate supervision is critical to keeping kids safe. An adult caregiver is accountable for the child's care and inadequate supervision can be a type of neglect (neglectful supervision).

What age can watch Home Alone? ›

But because of its violence, coarse language and some sexual references, it isn't suitable for children under 7 years and we recommend parental guidance for children aged up to 10 years.

What are the effects of a mother leaving a child? ›

The child who experiences abandonment feels unwanted, rejected by his or her own parents, and deals with feelings of worthlessness that cause shame [32]. Unpleasant experiences can significantly alter children's perception of their relationships with others, leading to a loss of trust in people.

What are the long term consequences of child parent separation? ›

Following their parents' separation, children may regress, display anxiety and depressive symptoms, appear more irritable, demanding and noncompliant, and experience problems in social relationships and school performance (5).

What are the effects of a child growing up without a mother? ›

Left-behind children have a lower cognitive test score and academic test score, and they are also less likely to attend a college. In particular, a mother's absence seems to have persistent negative effects on children's development.

How does a child typically react at the moment of separation from their mother? ›

Tearful, tantrum-filled goodbyes are common during a child's earliest years. Around the first birthday, many kids develop separation anxiety, getting upset when a parent, grandparent, or other primary caregiver tries to leave them with someone else.

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