I've been working in real estate for 7 years, and I have a warning for anyone trying to buy a home with help from their parents (2024)

The real-estate market has been booming. So much so, that it seems like everyone and their mother is buying a new home, and I mean that in the most literal way.

In high-priced housing markets mom and dad are shelling out cash and helping their adult children live the American Dream of homeownership. Parents opening up their wallets and assisting with home loans has been going on for generations, but the trend is on the rise according to the 2018 NAR Home Buyer and Seller Generational Trends Report.

In Boston, where I practice real estate, I am seeing it more and more with first-time homebuyers. I would estimate that close to half of my millennial buyer clients are receiving contributions from their parents or grandparents.

Read more: Forget braces and babysitters: American parents say their children are most expensive when they're all grown up

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This arrangement can be tricky at times. How do you structure the deal from a financial standpoint? What considerations should be made?

There's more than one way to approach it. Here is how my young buyers have navigated purchasing a house alongside their parental units.

Develop a plan before you start shopping — and leave the family drama out of it

Being in the position to give or receive financial assistance from a family member is a good problem to have. Sometimes parents and kids can lose sight of this during the home buying process when emotions run high.

As a real estate agent, I often get stuck in the crosshairs. When it comes to bringing family dynamics into the equation, having a solid plan and communicating well are key.

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Read more: I'm a real estate agent and investor — here are my 8 best pieces of advice for first-time homebuyers

First, figure out a financial strategy that makes the most sense. The options that I mention below provide a brief outline of some common approaches. You'll want to speak with a lender, financial adviser, CPA, and attorney to hammer out the details. While it is only natural for parents to want to lend a helping hand, they shouldn't put their own financial situation in jeopardy.

I've been working in real estate for 7 years, and I have a warning for anyone trying to buy a home with help from their parents (1)

Courtesy of Dana Bull

Next, have an open discussion about everything before you start the house hunt. For example, what is the motivation for the loan? As a parent, you may feel a sense of pride for being able to provide for your child or you may feel like your child is taking advantage of your generosity. On the other hand, some children feel guilty about getting a "handout" and indebted to their parents. It's best to get these feelings out on the table sooner rather than later.

Read more: A realtor who works with first-time homebuyers reveals a common mistake millennials make when they're house shopping

Another major point of contention is how involved the parents are going to be during the buying process and throughout ownership. It's all about the control factor and who gets to call the shots. You want to talk it out prior to sinking time into home shopping. Trust me, a home inspection is not an appropriate place for a family feud.

Plenty of first-time buyers have been able to afford properties they otherwise wouldn't have by leaning on family. If you are fortunate to have this option, you can spare the drama with some proactive planning.

Many millennials get cash gifts and loans from parents — here's how it works

I've been working in real estate for 7 years, and I have a warning for anyone trying to buy a home with help from their parents (2)

adriaticfoto/Shutterstock

Receiving gift funds towards a down payment

The most popular way for parents to get involved is by providing gift money. Chris Butts, a loan officer at Leader Bank, estimates that about 40% of his first-time buyer clients use some sort of gift money ranging from a few thousand dollars to a substantial percentage of the purchase. "Gift money is exactly what it sounds like – the parents pass along a sum of money onto their child without expecting reimbursem*nt."

This approach makes the most sense for those who can afford the monthly payments, but need help overcoming the upfront costs associated with buying. Most lenders allow borrowers to use gift money for a down payment or to foot the bill on closing costs.

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The process is quite straightforward. First the lender will request proof of funds from the parents such as a document or bank statement that shows cash on hand. Then, copies of the money transfer from the parent to child will need to be recorded. Lastly, the mortgage company will need a letter from the donor (i.e. parent) stating that the money is truly a gift and not a loan.

Tapping the bank of Mom and Dad

Most homebuyers work with traditional lenders such as a bank or credit union to take out a mortgage, but parents with liquidity can also be an excellent source for private lending. Family loans can be a win-win for everyone involved.

Private lending allows buyers to place bids on properties without a finance contingency. In a world where cash is king, this is huge. Buyers also can side-step many of the mortgage fees involved in a typical transaction such as the appraisal, application costs, etc. Parents reap the benefit of a recurring revenue stream in the form of interest.

Mom-and-pop mortgages can be an attractive solution if parents can afford the cash outlay. A lawyer can structure a family loan in many different ways. Having the flexibility is particularly beneficial to borrowers with low FICO scores or little credit history who may not be able to qualify for a loan through a bank. Of course, in order for the loan to be legitimate, it needs to be registered with the state and is subject to IRS scrutiny just like any traditional mortgage.

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Partnering with parents

Another route to consider is partnering up. According to Butts, who specializes in residential mortgages, "This may be the easiest option if the buyer needs the parent's income and credit history to qualify for the loan." Under this arrangement, all parties have ownership interest in the property and are responsible for repaying the loan.

This situation works particularly well for families teaming up to buy a vacation getaway or multi-family home where all parties will reap the benefits of ownership.

However, parents can also be a non-occupant co-borrower, meaning that although they do not live at the property, their names are on the deed. Co-borrowing or in some cases co-signing, have become an attractive option for families with college students. In lieu of room and board, parents are buying a "Kiddie Condo," a flat or single-family home near campus. Not only does this give young adult students a taste of homeownership, it also provides the family with additional income if extra rooms are rented out.

Dana Bull is a Massachusetts REALTOR® and real estate investor. She specializes in millennial and first-time buyers and also writes a column for RealEstate.com. You can learn more at www.danabullrealtor.com.

I've been working in real estate for 7 years, and I have a warning for anyone trying to buy a home with help from their parents (2024)

FAQs

What not to say to your real estate agent? ›

Here are the 7 most important things to not tell your realtor when selling.
  • What you think your home is worth. ...
  • Your need to sell quickly. ...
  • Plans for upgrades before selling. ...
  • Non-mandatory legal information about your property. ...
  • You're okay with an inflated history of dual agency. ...
  • Your lowest acceptable selling price.
Apr 12, 2024

What makes a house unsellable? ›

If a home has been neglected or poorly maintained, it can be challenging to attract buyers and leave a house sitting for extended periods on the market. Several real estate agents cited bad odors, making selling a home virtually impossible. Many buyers prefer move-in ready homes that don't require significant repairs.

Why is no one buying my house? ›

Your House Is Overpriced

You may love your house, and you may have spent a lot of time and money on renovations, but if no one is interested, it means you probably have it listed too high. If you overprice your house, buyers may just raise an eyebrow and move on to the next listing without even coming for a showing.

Why am I not getting offers on my house? ›

Price: Probably one of the main reasons why your property is not selling is the price. Have your expectations been too high? A common problem estate agents have is that people believe their property is actually worth more than it really is. If you are getting viewings but no offers you may want to reassess your price.

What do realtors struggle with the most? ›

Market Fluctuations

Nothing stays the same in real estate. This places agents at the mercy of interest rates, inventory, and the economy itself. In a slow market, most agents struggle to make sales – while better economic times can bring bidding wars, which can make it equally difficult to close a deal.

Why do real estate agents have a bad reputation? ›

Why do real estate agents have a bad reputation? Real estate agents often have a bad reputation because of the lack of transparency in their dealings. Unfortunately, some may be motivated by money and take advantage of clients or worse yet, present inaccurate information.

What is the biggest regret when buying a house? ›

Around 27 percent said they regretted choosing a bad location, while 26 percent said they came to regret the bad neighbors their home is near. Just under that, 25 percent of millennials, which comprise those born from 1981 to 1996, said high interest rates caused them to have regrets about their home purchase.

What is the most common reason a property fails to sell? ›

The most common reason a property fails to sell is an unreasonable asking price by the seller. An asking price that's too high is the surest way to increase your days on market and have a "non-starter" listing that buyers simply ignore.

What are the worst selling features in a house? ›

Accordingly, it is ill advised to try selling a house with the following additions:
  • Shag Carpeting.
  • Popcorn Ceilings.
  • Colorful Sinks and Toilets.
  • Metallic Wallpaper.
  • Carpeted Bathrooms.
  • Wood Paneling.
  • Hollywood-Style Bath Lighting.
  • Faux Finishes.

What happens if nobody wants to buy your house? ›

The original owner keeps it indefinitely. Most people who want to sell want it to happen reasonably quickly, so if the house doesn't sell, they lower the price until it does. In the rare case where a property is literally unsaleable at any price, the owner can either keep it or abandon it.

What is the reason why many people don't buy a house? ›

Main reasons non-owners do not currently own a home U.S. 2022. According to a December 2022 survey, among the main reasons why non-homeowners do not currently own a home in the United States are not having enough money saved for a down payment (34 percent) and low income (31 percent).

Why is no one buying houses anymore? ›

Key Takeaways. Millennials are not buying homes as readily as the previous generation. Delaying marriage and having children is keeping many Millennials at home with their parents. Tighter lending criteria can also make homeownership unaffordable or virtually impossible for those without much credit history.

Why am I getting so many unsolicited offers to buy my house? ›

Real estate agents often employ this tactic after their buyer clients have been consistently outbid or otherwise frustrated by the traditional sales process. Their clients see a home they like and the agent puts together an offer letter and drops it in the mailbox.

Why am I getting a lot of showings but no offers? ›

If you're getting a lot of showings but no offers, you may just be attracting the wrong buyers. Make sure your agent has taken great photographs and posted on popular sites like Zillow, Trulia, and Facebook, besides more traditional marketing tactics like a multiple listing service (MLS).

Why aren't homeowners selling? ›

Reasons Why Your Home Isn't Selling. The real estate market is complex and numerous factors contribute to the saleability of a property. These reasons can include an overpriced listing, a slow market, necessary repairs, inadequate marketing, or even the lack of an experienced real estate agent.

Should I tell my realtor my budget? ›

If you're concerned about detailing your finances to your real estate agent, rest assured that there's plenty of privacy in the client/agent relationship. Real estate agents don't need, or expect, you to disclose everything about your money.

What not to say when selling your house? ›

Sellers should never discuss things like price, why they are selling, problems with the home, other offers, or closing with buyers. Anything said to a buyer's agent should be considered said to the buyer and may be used during negotiations.

How honest should you be with your realtor? ›

Being honest and transparent with each other helps you to build trust with your real estate agent. After all, they should be trustworthy, to begin with. However, you can still check reliable sources to see if your real estate agent is being honest with you so that you can wholly trust them and find peace of mind.

How do you tell a real estate agent you are not interested? ›

In-Person Is Always Better. Honest and direct communication is the number one trick to tell an agent you are not interested. Of course, there is no defined communication method for dumping real estate agents, but I think in-person communication is better.

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