How to Encourage Independent Play in Babies and Toddlers (2024)

Is your babe-in-arms always in your arms? While carrying around an 8-month-old is sure to build your biceps, it doesn’t give your baby much of a chance to flex his own muscles (crawling, cruising, sitting) — nor does it give you a chance to meet your own needs.

But most importantly, playing solo has big benefits for little kids — and it’s a stepping stone on the path to independence. Here’s what you need to know about independent play, whether your child is 8 months old or 3 years old.

What is independent play?

Independent play is just a fancy term that means an ability to play alone, even for a few minutes at a time.

Rest assured, it’s perfectly okay to let your child play alone, even at a young age, as long as you're nearby and he’s safe. So if your little one is looking at a book in his crib or sitting on the floor stacking cups (within ear- and eyeshot, of course), leave him be.

Why is independent play important?

Your pint-sized playmate picks up a lot of important social skills by playing with you, including turn-taking and problem solving, but he’ll also reap plenty of benefits by playing solo.

By coming up with his own games, figuring out how to do a puzzle or finally maneuvering the triangle in the shape sorter, your child will develop self-reliance and confidence in his own abilities. He’ll also get to practice calling the shots (something he rarely gets to do in the real world) and learn that he enjoys his own company.

Besides, by not always being at your child's beck and call, he'll come to respect that there are things you have to do (or enjoy doing) without him.

How to foster independent play

Babies and toddlers don’t have long attention spans, so even if your child is super-engrossed with, say, his activity center, he probably won’t be able to focus on it for more than five minutes, max.

But even a few minutes is good, especially if you space out those solo play breaks throughout his day. This gives you both some alone time and offers him opportunity to learn how to entertain himself.

Here are some ways to encourage independent play with your baby and toddler:

• Give the right kind of attention.Make sure he's getting your undivided devotion several times a day, whether it's while you tickle his tummy, read a story or stack blocks for him to knock over. If you fill his tank with enough parent-focused time, he may be more willing to play independently at other moments in the day.
• Change the scenery.If he was playing on the floor in his room while you made his bed, try switching him to a new locale like the kitchen while you do meal prep. Or, designate a low kitchen drawer for him to store his prized possessions(“Now you have a special spot too!”).If your little explorer needs something new to play with, stash a few plastic bowls or lightweight pans within reach.
• Provide plenty of playthings...Skip the big wooden toy chest in favor of a basket or a low open shelf (make sure it’s securely anchored). Toy boxes can frustrate a baby or toddler whose playthings are buried in a big jumble — plus, they provide a platform for unsanctioned climbing (and stacking of junk).Once you've found the right receptacle, fill it with a small number of toys, board books and stuffed friends. It'll be fun (and revealing) to see which ones your little one turns to most often. Rotating the stash will keep him from getting bored — or overwhelmed by choice.
• …but then teach him how to play.Your child might be hesitant to play on his own because he can't quite get the hang of a particular toy or game. So give him a quick how-to to encourage his efforts. Roll his jingly ball so he can hear the noise, or show him how to lay down wood train tracks.Once you get the process going, step away so he can continue on his own, assuring him that you'll be close by if he needs you.
• Set limits.If your toddler is upset by your attempts to get him to play solo, let him know that you need five minutes alone, and set a kitchen timer that he can watch. Once the time is up, turn your attention back to him so he trusts that the system works. Eventually, he'll come to appreciate that you need time (ideally, beyond five minutes!) on your own.For a baby who is too young to understand the timing system, step out of his line of vision and do a few quick peekaboos around the corner. This way, he starts to learn that even when you go away, you'll be back soon.After time’s up, return to your little one’s side and play with him. Each time you leave, try to stay away a bit longer, even if he's not thrilled about it.
• Make it a habit.Kids thrive on routine, so if you make independent play a part of your little one’s day, he’ll be more agreeable to it. Carve out a few minutes of solo play in the morning and afternoon, and your baby or toddler will soon know to expect his “me” time.

Don't expect independent play to happen overnight. Your child is used to the safety and comfort of your presence — and your participation in everything — so he might not be receptive to playing on his own at first.

Be patient with his progress and encourage his successes, and soon both of you will learn — and relearn — how nice a little "alone time" can be.