How to Ask Your Parents for a Chest Binder: 13 Steps (2024)

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Last Updated: June 17, 2022References

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   Do your research on binders. The internet is your best friend here. Look up how to clean a binder, safely use one, and find a reliable one. Figure out which type of binder you want and know the risks of using one. Check out these resources on how to use binders:

   • Insider: How to Bind Your Chest According to Experts
   • Minus18: How to Bind Your Chest Safely and Healthily
   • Chest Binding: Tips and Tricks for Trans Men, Nonbinary, and Genderfluid people
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   Measure yourself. In order to find a binder that properly fits you, you need to measure. Measuring your chest and body will likely be hard and cause dysphoria. Take breaks in-between measuring if you need to.

   How to Measure Yourself

   1. Wrap the measuring tape around the largest portion of your chest and inhale. (It is frequently easier and most accurate to accomplish this when lying down.)

   2. Measure the under-chest: Slide the tape measure down until it reaches your ribs. Inhale.

   3. Measure your stomach: Slide the tape measure down until it reaches the narrowest point of your waist (for long binders) or the point where you wish the binder to terminate (for medium binders.) Suck your belly in while you measure if you want a little abdominal compression.

   4. Wrap the tape measure around where you want the binder to terminate at the hips. Do not pull too tightly.

   5. Measuring the length of the binder: Start measuring at the top of your shoulder and work your way down your chest.^[3]

   See Also

   Why You Should be Using Student BindersWhat should I know about Ring Binders?How to Use a Binder When You Have a Larger Chest - LGBTQ and ALLHow To Measure

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   Look for a quality binder. Never buy a $5 binder from an unverified website. Those are dangerous and binders under $15 dollars are make out of cheap material and are not safe. It's a much better idea to spend the extra $20 to ensure that you have something that will not harm you. Websites with safe, quality binders include:

   • gc2b
   • TomboyX
   • Underworks
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   Know how to properly use a binder. It's essential to know how to use a binder properly before asking your parents for one. Here are basic do's and dont's for wearing a binder:

   • Never sleep in a binder.
   • Don't wear your binder for more than 8 hours a day.
   • Don't swim in your binder unless it's specifically for swimming.
   • Never exercise in a binder.
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   Make sure you know how to clean a binder. Knowing how to wash a binder and keep it clean is part of having a binder. This is also part of showing that you're responsible and know how to care for your binder.

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   Be sure that your parent(s) knows about your gender identity. It's ideal if your parents already know about your gender identity before asking for a binder, since being trans and wearing a binder correlate to each other. It might be more confusing for your parents to understand why you want a chest binder if you haven't already come out as trans.

   • Here is a guide on how to come out as trans, or how to come out as nonbinary.
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   Show that you're responsible beforehand. Prove that you are responsible of having a binder and that you can take good care of it. Do your chores, try to do well in school, and do things without asking. This will show that you can manage having a binder and be safe with it.

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   Explain what a binder is. A binder is for anyone who wants to flatten the appearance of their chest. A chest binder is often used by trans guys, nonbinary people, and genderfluid people. However, you don't have to mention the extra details to your parents if you don't want to. You can give a practical, understandable statement and simply say, "a binder is like a fancy sports bra that flattens your chest. A lot of trans people use to reduce dysphoria and I was hoping you could get me one."

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   Explain why you want one. Explain to your parent why you would like a binder and how it would help you. Mention any dysphoria, how it makes you feel, and how a binder would help you feel confident and comfortable.

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   Address their concerns and answer questions. Your family might be worried about your safety after explaining what a binder is and how it works. Here are some common questions with sample answers:

   See Also

   3 RING BINDERS: How to find the right three ring binder

   • Is this safe? "Yes, when a binder is used correctly, they're very safe."
   • Why do you want a binder? "A binder will help me feel comfortable with my body and reduce my dysphoria. I would be really happy if I got one and it would help me feel confident."

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   Thank them if they say yes. If they decide to get you a binder thank them and be appreciative (you probably already will be appreciative, anyways).

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   Remain responsible. If they declined your request, they might decide to purchase a binder for you later on if they see that you're responsible. Know that even if they said no, you still have a chance to get one. Continue doing your chores and what you're supposed to do.

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   Know what you can do if they don't buy you one. Your parents might still be skeptical after you make your argument. Don't constantly ask if they already said no and know your other options. Here are other options if they decline your request:

   • Ask someone else you trust for a binder. Another family member or friend who is supportive of your identity could buy you a binder if they have the money. Ask an older sibling, grandparent, older cousin, or a close friend if they could buy the binder you want.
   • Find an alternative to a binder or create your own. There are many safe alternatives to binders, but never use tape of bandages to bind. Try making your own binder or layering up your clothes to conceal your chest.
   • Find a cheaper binder if the one you choose is too expensive. If your parents don't want to get you a binder because the one you want is too expensive, look for another one that is cheaper but doesn't sacrifice quality.
   • Wait. This will likely be your last option if none of the above work. You can wait a couple weeks for your parents to change their minds, but if your dysphoria is very bad, try another option.
   • Get a free binder. If there is absolutely no way you can get a binder, or your family is transphobic, don't panic. There are many organizations that give free binders to people who need them and can't get them safely. Point of Pride gives binders at no cost to trans individuals who truly need them. Here is how to get one from them for free: Point of Pride: Free Chest Binders

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