Guide to How to Behave at Your Friend’s House (2024)


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Guide to How to Behave at Your Friend’s House (1)

Most kids love to hang out at their friends’ houses because it’s a chance to explore a whole new home. Another family will usually carry different foods in the refrigerator, have a different outdoor space, different video games, and so forth. That’s all great, but what about the rules and customs in that home? After all, every parent has different rules and expectations for their own home. Make sure that you follow the rules and show respect when you’re at someone else’s house so that you get asked back.

Be extra polite and patient when you’re at someone else’s home.

If you ask for something, first ask yourself if the parent looks busy. If the parent is busy but you need something, check back in five minutes when they will probably be less busy. Most adults have a lot to do, and it usually adds a little more work for them when they invite their child’s friend over. Be sensitive to the fact that this parent agreed to allow you at the house as a nice gesture to their own child, so be respectful and kind in turn.

Do not curse in your friend’s home.

Watch your language closely when you are at your friend’s house. Perhaps you curse like a sailor with your friends or at your own home, but understand that every house has different rules and that most parents are not okay with kids cursing. As a parent, I will not allow my children’s friends to curse in my house. I don’t let my children do it, so I won’t let another child do it, either. If you slip up and curse in your friend’s home, expect that most parents will say something to correct you and don’t get offended when they do. Again, who’s house it? Who gets choose to the rules?

Never question the rules or talk back to your friend’s parents.

You might believe that this rule goes without saying, that teenagers would never do such a thing at their friends’ houses. Sadly, kids break this rule every day in other people’s homes. When your friend’s parent tells you something, listen and don’t question it – it’s simply not your house. By questioning a friend’s parent – or trying to negotiate with them about a curfew or a favor – your behavior says, ‘I know you went out of your way to let me come over, and I don’t care at all about what you want or your feelings.’

Watch your negative comments about that family’s cuisine, house décor, and cleanliness

I will confess something from my past that might make you laugh but actually hurt my bank account. When I was a teenager babysitting for extra money, I once babysit for a family whose house was so filthy that I spent a couple hours cleaning after the kids went to bed. At the time, I thought I was doing something nice, but I never got asked back to babysit. Translation: no more pocket money for me. Why didn’t they ask me back? The parents were probably offended that I cleaned, suggesting that their home was gross and that it was too gross for me to babysit in as it were. In short, you – and I! – should respect someone else’s home and show that respect by: not commenting on cleanliness (“It is so disorganized in here” or “It smells funny”); not commenting on decorations or art work (“What is that? It looks awful”); and not commenting on cuisine (“What is this food? It looks weird and I don’t like it”).

The right thing to do vs. the right way to get asked back

I’m advocating showing respect and politeness when you’re at your friends’ houses because it’s the right thing to do. If you don’t understand now, you certainly will one day when you have kids of your own and you’re the one who has to manage an entire household. For those of who do it, we can all agree on one simple fact: it’s not easy! If you can’t bring yourself to engage in respectful behavior, do it because it’s the right thing to do. Secondarily, it’s also the only way you’re going to get asked back to your friend’s house. Trust me: I hear every week from parents who had a bad experience hosting another child at their house, and the parents often say that they will never let so-and-so back over at their house because of the bad behavior. Make your life easier by not being one of those kids!

Guide to How to Behave at Your Friend’s House (2)

Dr. Seth MeyersDr. Seth Meyers is a licensed clinical psychologist and author in Los Angeles, California. He specializes in parenting and relationships, and he is trained in multiple evidence-based parenting interventions. Dr. Seth earned his B.A. in psychology from Vassar College and earned his Psy.D. in clinical psychology from Yeshiva University in New York City. He appears regularly on television programs, including Good Morning America, 20/20, ABC News, The Doctors, Nancy Grace, Dr. Drew and others. Dr. Seth is the author of Overcome Relationship Repetition Syndrome and Find the Love You Deserve.

Guide to How to Behave at Your Friend’s House (2024)

FAQs

What not to do at your friends house? ›

Act Like It's Your House

Don't open the fridge without asking. Don't put your feet up on the furniture. Don't eat food that isn't offered, and don't look through drawers. This is not your house—don't act like it!

What to do when your best friend is at your house? ›

Fun Things to Do at Home with a Friend
  1. Host a Girls Night In. Call your group of friends and have them over for a girls' night in with co*cktails, cards, or a low-key dinner. ...
  2. Arrange an Indoor Picnic. ...
  3. Have a Self-Care Evening. ...
  4. Enjoy a Baking Night. ...
  5. Try a New Craft. ...
  6. Ask Great Questions. ...
  7. Have a Wine or Beer Tasting. ...
  8. Play Cards.
Nov 17, 2022

What are the friend rules? ›

6 Rules for Healthy Friendships
  • Support, trust, and honesty are givens. ...
  • Listen to your friends. ...
  • Ditch the judgment. ...
  • Don't talk behind a friend's back. ...
  • Respect your friends — and their boundaries. ...
  • Forgive where you can — and seek forgiveness when you screw up.
Sep 24, 2018

How long should I stay at my friends house? ›

Anything over a week will be too exhausting and stressful for everyone — host and guest. It is best to minimize the disruption of everyone's lives." Although three days and two nights is the ideal visit, Hokemeyer admits that when guests are coming from a great distance, the stay may have to be extended.

What should a good friend avoid to maintain? ›

5 Things To Not Do With Your Best Friend That Could Ruin Your Friendship
  • Don't move in together.
  • Don't work at the same place.
  • Don't get possessive about her.
  • Don't be too demanding.
  • Don't make her your boyfriend.
Apr 19, 2017

What kind of friend we should avoid? ›

Florence Isaacs, author of Toxic Friends/True Friends, explains to WebMD that a toxic friendship is unsupportive, draining, unrewarding, stifling, unsatisfying, and often unequal. Isaacs goes on to say that toxic friends stress you out, use you, are unreliable, are overly demanding, and don't give anything back.

What are things that toxic friends do? ›

In a toxic friendship, you never feel that support or compassion. You feel minimized when they brush off your problems or ignored outright if they never respond to your messages or requests for help. In short, they aren't there for you when you need a friend most.

What are signs of a toxic best friend? ›

Toxic friendship signs
  • They disrespect your boundaries. ...
  • They always need something from you. ...
  • They don't take accountability. ...
  • They may weaponize their struggles. ...
  • They make you feel guilty for spending time with other people. ...
  • They dismiss your values. ...
  • They ignore your efforts to be a good friend to them.
Oct 12, 2022

What are the 3 C's in friendship? ›

A different way of categorizing friendship is by applying “The Three C's”. There are three basic types of people with whom you interact: Constituents, Comrades, and Confidants.

What are the four C's of friendship? ›

The four factors that are most effective in initial verbal contacts are confidence, creativity, caring and consideration — otherwise known as the Four Cs.

What does the F in friends stand for? ›

Meaning of F.R.I.E.N.D.S.H.I.P. "F" is for Fun............ That friends share when they are together. "R" is for Reliability.... A true friend is someone that you can always rely on.

What should you not do as a house guest? ›

Here are 13 ways a houseguest is sure to annoy a host:
  • Forget to ask about house rules. ...
  • Leave a trail of clutter. ...
  • Take over the house. ...
  • Stay up all night watching TV or blasting the stereo. ...
  • Smoke in a non-smoking home. ...
  • Be demanding or finicky. ...
  • Be snobby. ...
  • Be inconsiderate of time and plans.
Aug 16, 2019

What is the right age to go out with friends? ›

Clinical psychologist Dr Vaani Gunaseelan notes that most parents start to allow their typically developing kids to go out on their own when they are between 11 and 13 years old.

Is it healthy to hang out with friends everyday? ›

Friends also play a significant role in promoting your overall health. Adults with strong social connections have a reduced risk of many significant health problems, including depression, high blood pressure and an unhealthy body mass index (BMI).

What three qualities a true friend must have? ›

What are the qualities of a good friend?
  • They live with integrity. ...
  • You can trust them. ...
  • “Dependability” is their middle name. ...
  • They're loyal. ...
  • They have empathy for others. ...
  • They're good listeners. ...
  • Their confidence is contagious. ...
  • Spending time with them makes you feel good.
May 16, 2022

What are the 7 types of friends? ›

Most people need lots of types of friends, who can support them and help them in totally different ways.
...
Here are 7 types of friends that everyone should have for a happy and fulfilling life.
  • The Crazy Friend. ...
  • The Honest Friend. ...
  • The Long-Term Friend. ...
  • The Gossipy Friend. ...
  • The Work Friend. ...
  • The Loyal Friend.

What things destroy friendship? ›

Here are seven common missteps that can easily derail burgeoning friendships:
  • Not asking questions and following up. ...
  • Letting one mistake paralyze you. ...
  • Being pushy, or overly indecisive, about plans. ...
  • Trying too hard to impress. ...
  • Breaking confidences. ...
  • Gossiping too much. ...
  • Missing cues.
Apr 4, 2014

What is a leech friend? ›

The Leech. This type of friend always needs you and expects you to drop everything when they call. While it is important to be a supportive friend, with this type of friend, you have to set boundaries. If you do not, after a while, this type of friend will drain your energy and your time.

What do true friends not do? ›

They don't resort to personal attacks.

True friends aren't in the business of making you feel bad about yourself. They communicate with words of kindness, not cruelty. They focus on your similarities, not your differences. They speak of your qualities, not your shortcomings.

What is Gaslighting in friendship? ›

“Gaslighting in a friendship or any other relationship is a process of making someone feel bad about themselves and guilty for being crazy. It frequently involves the abuser keeping control.

What are 10 signs of a toxic friendship? ›

10 Signs You're In A Toxic Friendship
  • It's All About Them And Their Problems. ...
  • They Don't Respect You Nor Your Boundaries. ...
  • They're Trying to Change You. ...
  • There's Always Drama. ...
  • You Feel Uncomfortable Around Them. ...
  • They're Unpredictable. ...
  • They Gossip Regularly. ...
  • 8 .
Apr 16, 2021

How do you know when a friendship is over? ›

These are 11 signs you might start to notice when you get there:
  1. Communication Is One-Sided. ...
  2. She's No Longer Your Lifeline. ...
  3. Plans Are Put Off. ...
  4. You Feel Like You're Being Replaced. ...
  5. You're Not Up-To-Date. ...
  6. There's Nothing To Talk About. ...
  7. You Don't Make Future Plans. ...
  8. You've Lost Trust.
Sep 13, 2016

What causes friendships to end? ›

Recent research has revealed why people may end friendships. The reasons can be categorized into four categories, including selfishness, infrequent interaction, romantic involvement, and perceptions.

What age do friends drift apart? ›

While it is sad to think about losing friends as we get older, losing friends in your 20s, 30s, 40s, and even 50s is perfectly normal. In fact, it's even regarded as healthy and shows that you're maturing. So when does this friend drop-off point occur? Studies show that we begin to lose friends in our mid-twenties.

What causes friends to drift apart? ›

“Best friends grow apart for the following reasons. They [might] move far away, get into a relationship and spend more time with partner, have kids and doesn't feel the other [person] relates, or start to gravitate toward [other] people who are aligned with her career goals,” clinical psychologist, Dr.

What are signs of a negative friend? ›

What Is a Bad Friend?
  • Overly competitive with you.
  • Likely to encourage bad behaviors.
  • Unreliable.
  • Combative (like to start fights)
  • Rude.
  • Mean or degrading (make you feel bad)
  • Prone to gossip.
  • Likely to bully you or others.
Dec 10, 2022

What does an unhealthy friendship look like? ›

Toxic friends, however, often present as selfish and challenging. They may struggle with healthy communication and become aggressive, passive-aggressive, or dismissive when they don't get what they want. They may also depend on you for validation or comfort, exhibiting a range of attention-seeking behaviors.

Can best friends kiss each other? ›

One common thing to happen between friends is a kiss. Kisses are normal when people have intimate feelings for one another or are just excited and in the mood for physical contact. Sometimes kisses might happen because we are emotional for some reason and just act on our feelings without thinking.

Do best friends stay friends forever? ›

Best friends can last fondly in your memory forever, even if you've both moved on. If you feel like it's time to leave a friendship, there are ways to release your former BFF with love. Learn more about letting go of old friendships here.

What do normal best friends do? ›

Best friends refrain from unnecessarily criticizing each other and tend to be nonjudgmental. A best friend will listen to you and thoughtfully respond rather than react to what you've said even if you have triggered something in him or her.

What do real friends act like? ›

A real friend is someone that you can rely on. You know that they will keep their plans with you. You know that you can rely on them to show up for you when you need it. Real friends are people that have proven they will show up for you in the past and will continue to do so because you are a priority to them.

What to bring when staying at a friends house? ›

A grateful guest always brings their host a gift—a little something to show their gratitude. However, there's no need to haul something huge or extravagant all the way there. A local treat from your hometown bakery, a beautiful coffee table book, flowers, a nice candle, or bottle of wine all work perfectly.

What is staying at friends house called? ›

A sleepover is a night you spend sleeping at a friend's house.

How do you act at a party where you know nobody? ›

9 Ways To Survive A Party When You're Alone
  1. Quit Being So Negative. ...
  2. Ask To Help The Host. ...
  3. Show Up With Some Information. ...
  4. Practice Your Conversation Starters. ...
  5. Actually Listen To What People Say. ...
  6. Remember There Is No Spotlight On You. ...
  7. Look For Other Loners (They Really Want To Talk) ...
  8. Just Have Fun.
Jan 13, 2016

What is a false friendship? ›

A fake friend is slightly different than a frenemy. What is a fake friend? A fake friend is someone who makes you fake it — fake liking, fake authenticity, or faking someone you are not, in order to be friends with them. If a fake friend finds out who you truly are, they probably won't be friends with you anymore.

What guests notice most about your home? ›

5 things in your home that visitors always notice
  1. THE ENTRYWAY. The entrance to your home is the first impression visitors get so it pays to make it a good one.
  2. THE SMELL. You may not think your house has a smell but it's the first thing visitors will notice - good or bad. ...
  3. CLUTTER. ...
  4. A DIRTY BATHROOM. ...
  5. PET HAIR.
Dec 18, 2022

How long should you stay at someone's house after dinner? ›

The rituals of a standard dinner service also help keep everyone on schedule—if coffee and after-dinner drinks have been served, guests should expect to leave within an hour at most, ideally at the natural waning of the conversation.

What is a person who likes to be alone called? ›

Definitions of troglodyte. one who lives in solitude. synonyms: hermit, recluse, solitary, solitudinarian.

What to do when people come over? ›

All-Season Activities
  1. Go to the dog park with your Fido-friendly guests.
  2. Take the kids to the playground.
  3. Go for a walk around the neighborhood.
  4. Catch a newly released movie.
  5. Shop at a nearby outlet mall.
  6. Check out the local children's museum.
  7. See the current exhibit at your town's art museum.
Nov 10, 2019

Is it sleepover or sleep over? ›

A sleepover is an occasion when someone, especially a child, sleeps for one night in a place such as a friend's home. Emily couldn't ask a friend for a sleepover until she cleaned her room.

What do you call a person who doesn't know how do you socialize? ›

Colloquially, the terms 'asocial' and 'antisocial' get used interchangeably, to describe someone who isn't motivated by social interaction.

How do I stop party awkward alone? ›

Here's how to go to a party alone if you have social anxiety
  1. Find out if someone you know will be at the event. ...
  2. Come prepared with a standard question. ...
  3. Give yourself permission to be awkward. ...
  4. Find a quiet spot where you can breathe. ...
  5. Leave when it gets overwhelming. ...
  6. Recharge before your next event.
Feb 7, 2018

How do you mingle with everyone? ›

Follow these seven tips to master your mingle-ability skills.
  1. Step out of your comfort zone. Don't allow your fears to inhibit you from interacting with others. ...
  2. Choose quality instead of quantity. ...
  3. Network before you need it. ...
  4. Mind your body language. ...
  5. Practice remembering names. ...
  6. Keep it simple. ...
  7. Enjoy yourself.
Jul 28, 2015

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