Give Me Gratitude or Give Me Debt (2024)

“Every generation laughs at the old fashions, but follows religiously the new.” ― Thoreau

So why not just laugh now? – G

“If we do not feel grateful for what we already have, what makes us think we’d behappy withmore?” — Unknown

Recently I posted a picture of myself in my kitchen, and I immediately started receiving generousmessages from people wanting to help me “update” it. Along with their messages came pictures of how my kitchen could look, if I’d just put some effort and money into it.

I’ve always loved my kitchen, but after seeing those pictures I found myself looking at it through new, critical eyes. Maybe it was all wrong. Maybe the 80’s counters, laminate cabinets, mismatched appliances and clutter really weremistakes I should try to fix. I stood and stared and suddenlymy kitchen looked shabby and lazy to me.I wondered if that meant I was shabby and lazy, too.Because our kitchens are nothing if not reflections of us, right? I decided I’d talk to Craig and make some calls about updates.

But as I lay down to sleep, I remembered this passage from Thoreau’s Walden: “I say beware of all enterprises that require new clothes and not a new wearer of the clothes.” Walden reminds me that when I feel lacking- I don’t need new things, I need new eyes with which to see the things I already have. So when I woke up this morning, I walked into my kitchen wearing fresh perspectacles. Here’s what I saw.

You guys. I have a REFRIGERATOR.

This thing MAGICALLY MAKES FOOD COLD. I’m pretty sure in the olden days, frontierswomenhad to drink warm Diet co*ke. Sweet Jesus. Thank you, precious kitchen.

Inside my refrigerator is FOOD.Healthy food thatso manyparents would give anything to be able to feed their children.Not me. When this food runs out, I’ll just jump in my car to get more. It’s ludicrous, really. It’s like my family hits the lottery every freaking morning.

THIS CRAZY THING IS A WATER FAUCET. I pull this lever and CLEAN WATER POURS OUT EVERY TIME, DAY OR NIGHT.Mamas everywhere spend their entire day walking miles to and from wells just for a single bucket of this- and I have it right here at my fingertips. I’m almost embarrassed to say that we also have one of these in each of our two bathrooms, and one in the front yard with which to WASH OUR FEET. We use clean drinking water to WASH OUR FEET. Holy bounty.

This is the magical box in which I put uncooked stuff, push some buttons, and then a minute later- pull out cooked stuff. It is like the JETSONS up in here.

This is my medicine cabinet. Since my Lyme is in remission and each of my babies is healthy- there is nothing in here but vitamins and supplements and tea. Thank you, God. This medicine cabinet is a miracle to me. Every time I open it I feel like I should kneel down and kiss the ground. I have an inbox full of letters from mothers whose medicine cabinets look very different.

Give Me Gratitude or Give Me Debt (6)

Speaking of ground- this is our kitchenfloor. It’s not fancy, but it’s perfect for our most important kitchen activity: DANCING.When Chase was three a librarian asked aroomful of kids, “what do we do in the kitchen?” Everyone else called out “cook” or “eat!” But Chase yelled “DANCE!”

I can’t even talk about this thing. Actually, let’s take a moment of reverent silence because this machine is the reason all my people are still alive. IT TURNS MAGICAL BEANS INTO A LIFE-SAVING NECTAR OF GODS. EVERY MORNING. ON A TIMER.

And look you guys: LOOK. This is the kitchen corner where I keep all my kids’ school stuff. My kids go to a FREE school with brilliant teachers and a loving administration and they’re SAFE there. The school sends flyers home about PROGRAMS and CLASSES and CLUBS to make my kids’hearts bigger and softer and their brains sharper and their bodies healthier. This corner reminds me everyday that my kids have at their fingertipswhat so many around the world are giving their lives for: quality education. When I wear my perspectacles I can’t look at this corner without a heart explosion.

My perspectacled kitchen tour taught me two things this morning: I’m insanely lucky and I’m finally FREE.

In terms of parenting, marriage, home, clothes – I will not be a slave to the Tyranny of Trend any longer. I am almost 40 years old and no catalog is the Boss of Me anymore. I am free. I am not bound to spend my precious days on Earth trying to keep up with the Joneses- because the Joneses are really just a bunch of folks in conference rooms changing “trends” rapidly to create fake monthly emergencies for us. OH NO! NOW IT’S ASUBWAY TILE BACKSPLASH WE NEED! No, thank you. Life offers plenty of REAL emergencies to handle, thank you very much.

I’m a grown up now. I know what looks good on me, and that doesn’t change every three months. I know how I like my house. I like it cute and cozy and a little funky and I like it to feel lived in and worn and I like the things inside of it to work. That’s all. And for me– it’s fine that my house’s interior suggests that I might not spend every waking moment thinking about how it looks.

Sometimes it seems that our entire economy is based on distracting women from their blessings. Producers of STUFFNEED to find 10,000 ways to make women feel less than about our clothes, kitchens, selves so that we will keep buying more. So maybe freeing ourselves just a little from the Tyranny of Trend is a women’s issue – because we certainly aren’t going to get much world changing done if we spend all of our time and money on wardrobe and kitchen changing.

BUT. Listen. I’m nothing if not a tangled, colorful ball of contradictions. I like a good make-overas much as anybody else. So . . . HERE WE HAVE IT. HERE IS THE MELTON KITCHEN MAKEOVER FOR YA!READY FOR THE BIG REVEAL?

Before:

After:

Ba- BAM! Extreme home makeover! My kitchenIS beautiful because it is full of beauty.SO IS YOURS.

Today I shall keep my perspectacles super-gluedto my face and feel insanely GRATEFUL instead of LACKING and I will look at my home and my people and my body and say: THANK YOU. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU. THIS IS ALL MORE THAN GOOD ENOUGH, ALL OF IT. Now. Let us turn our focus onward and outward. There is WORK TO BE DONE and JOY TO BE HAD.

Love,
G


Give Me Gratitude or Give Me Debt (11)

Give Me Gratitude or Give Me Debt (12)
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Give Me Gratitude or Give Me Debt (2024)

FAQs

What does a debt of gratitude mean? ›

to have a reason to thank or feel grateful to another person for something good that they have done: There are no words that can express the debt of gratitude that future generations will owe them for their sacrifices. Every guitar player owes a debt of gratitude to George Harrison.

How do you use owe a debt of gratitude in a sentence? ›

I owe a debt of gratitude to my many language consultants over the years for their help in understanding tone and reduplication in their languages. For that, we owe a debt of gratitude. I owe a great debt of gratitude to him. We owe everyone concerned a great debt of gratitude.

What does indebted gratitude mean? ›

: to have a good reason to be very grateful to (someone) The whole town owes a debt of gratitude to the people who organized the parade.

How to exemplify debt of gratitude? ›

Someone loaned you money when you were short on finances. This person did not leave you when you were going through a very difficult time. This person served as your confidant and fortress at a time of weakness. These are examples of debt of gratitude, or “utang na loob” as we call it.

What are the 3 types of gratitude? ›

Types of Gratitude
  • As an affective trait, meaning that it is related to a person's general disposition. Some people naturally experience gratitude more frequently than others. ...
  • As a mood, which means it may fluctuate over time. ...
  • As an emotion, which is a briefer feeling that people experience in the moment.
Jan 22, 2024

What are the three debts of gratitude? ›

p. 47The four debts of gratitude are the debts owed to all living beings, to one's father and mother, to one's sovereign, and to the three treasures—the Buddha, the Law, and the Buddhist Order.

What is a good sentence for gratitude? ›

with gratitude He smiled at them with gratitude. gratitude (to somebody) (for something) I would like to express my gratitude to everyone for their hard work. I feel a deep sense of gratitude to her. in gratitude for something She was presented with the gift in gratitude for her long service.

What is the difference between indebted and grateful? ›

In sum, indebtedness differs from gratitude in many ways. Whereas gratitude is strongly associated with positive emotions, such as joy, contentment, and pride, indebtedness is strongly associated with negative emotions, such as discomfort, unease, and guilt (Emmons & McCullough, 2003; Watkins et al., 2006).

How do you say thank you and I owe you? ›

Casual Ways To Say “Thank You”
  1. I appreciate it. You've been so kind. ...
  2. Thanks a ton. Thanks a ton; I couldn't have finished this without you.
  3. I owe you one. I can't believe you bought this for me. ...
  4. Cheers. Your presence here has made all the difference. ...
  5. I can't thank you enough. I passed the test thanks to your help!

How do you say I am indebted to you? ›

Synonyms and examples
  1. grateful. I'm grateful for your kindness.
  2. appreciative. I'm really appreciative of all the help you've given me.
  3. I/we appreciate. I really appreciate all the help you've given me.
  4. glad of. We were very glad of some extra help.
  5. thankful. I'm just thankful that she's safe and well.
  6. relieved. ...
  7. touched.

What is a synonym for indebted grateful? ›

appreciative beholden duty-bound grateful obligated obliged thankful.

What is the meaning of the word gratitude? ›

a strong feeling of appreciation to someone or something for what the person has done to help you: Many of his patients gave works of art to Dr. Klein in gratitude.

What are the 4 A's of gratitude? ›

You might even make a list. Tracy also describes the four A's of gratitude: appreciation, approval, admiration and attention. By incorporating these four elements into your life, you'll boost your own self-esteem -- and that of others.

How do you write a gratitude statement? ›

State what you appreciate and briefly explain why. Do not add other news or information not related to the appreciative gesture. The message of appreciation should stand alone. Be brief, warm, and sincere.

How do I write a gratitude saying? ›

In a situation that requires incredibly sincere appreciation, consider using phrases like:
  1. "I will never forget how you helped me."
  2. "You have my sincerest thanks."
  3. "I'm having trouble finding the words to say thank you."
  4. "You will never know how much this means to me."
Mar 10, 2023

What are the four debts of gratitude? ›

Nichiren explains that there are “four debts of gratitude”: to our parents, teacher, country and the three treasures of Buddhism (see “On Repaying Debts of Gratitude,” WND-1, 690).

What culture is debt of gratitude? ›

It's not just about repaying a debt, but about recognizing the good deeds of others and being thankful for them. In Filipino culture, this is considered a virtue, and failing to show gratitude is seen as a major faux pas.

What is the concept of utang na loob? ›

The Filipino value of Utang na Loob refers to an obligation to appropriately repay a person who has done one a favor. This value is impossible to quantify as it involves a deep personal and internal dimension. In Filipino Psychology, value equates to the concept of “kapwa”— a shared personhood or shared self.

What is the biblical meaning of gratitude? ›

Meanwhile, Biblical gratitude is an approach to doing something, sustenance that strengthens you, and the intention behind your actions. Gratitude is a positive response to experiencing God's goodness and grace. In other words, once you realize that God is working in your life, you'll show gratefulness in how you live.

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