Funeral Viewing Etiquette
You are not required to actually view the body at a funeral viewing. Many people are a bit uncomfortable with the idea of attending a viewing, but keep in mind that funeral viewing etiquette does not require you to actually look at or spend time with the deceased if you are not comfortable doing so. You should be prepared for the deceased to be in the room with you, however, and for the possibility of an open casket, which is very common.
In many cases, a viewing is not a religious service, so there may not be a formal prayer said or even any type of formal order of events. This is simply a time for you and others who knew the deceased and his or her family to stop by and say a last goodbye. A viewing will often last for several hours and you should not feel obligated to show up at the beginning or stay for the entire time. Wear relatively formal, conservative clothing, and remember to give your condolences to any family members who are present. You may want to stay for a little while to speak with other mourners about the deceased.
If you do decide to view the body, wait for a moment when no one else is with the deceased – or stand quietly nearby until other people have finished so as not to disturb them. Take a few moments to stand by the casket. You may want to kneel, say a prayer, say a few words silently to yourself about the deceased, or simply bow your head for a moment of silence. There is no need to linger; simply spending a minute or two in silent respect for the deceased is perfectly fine.
Wake Etiquette
For many people, the idea of a wake suggests an uplifting event, where people drink and toast the deceased. This is often associated with the traditional Irish wake, which was a celebration of the person’s life and their passing on to the afterlife. This type of wake is often held in the home of the deceased, with the body present, and friends and family are invited. Everyone can share stories and memories of the deceased, as well as offering their condolences to the family.
If you’re invited to a wake, it’s common for some sort of refreshment to be offered. Depending on the family, it may be a largely religious affair. Wakes are similar to viewings, and part of good funeral wake etiquette is to have a few favorite stories to tell about the deceased and words of condolence for the family.
