Financial Independence, Is Your Spouse on Board? (2024)

Please welcome Even Steven! Let me know if you would like to guest post on RFI.

My blog is named Even Steven Money and I’m working on paying all of my debt back, becoming Even Steven, and building financial independence to retire early. I started my official journey about a year ago and have been sharing my accomplishments and stories for going on 5 months and the progress and encouragement I have made and received has been nothing short of amazing, so give yourself a round of applause if you have stopped by to check me out, if not here’s your chance.

Let me start out by saying like many bloggers working hard for the money or just the enjoyment of sharing their story, there is a better half. Most of our spouses do not write, but most are very supportive, if not we all probably would have stopped writing or been divorced months ago! My wife is no different she loves reading everything I write about, without a doubt my most loyal reader. She is a private person and prefers I do not talk about the numbers including salaries, mortgages, and all the flashy numbers out there. While my wife is very smart, makes a good salary, and came into our marriage without any personal debt, she is slow to my crazy ideas of financial independence.

Financial Independence, Is Your Spouse on Board? (2)

Getting Mrs. Even Steven Money on board for saving and investing is a tough battle. She would rather talk just about anything else rather than a monthly budget meeting, how to save money and cut costs, and even retiring early. I usually have to bribe her with some sort of coffee shop latte and candy like baked good to talk about money. She loves the concept of financial independence and retiring early but I don’t think she is sipping the Kool-Aid just yet. Here’s an example.

The other day we sat down and the conversation about FI came up. One of the conditions or bargaining chips I have is that my wife loves her family and wants to move back to Florida what seems like at all costs. Our plan has been to pay off our rental property in Florida, which is on track for being paid off in December 2016. This is where the dream was built, if we pay off the rental property we can revisit our situation and decide if moving is the best thing for us and for our financial situation. If we would move we would still have to work and most likely would move into the Florida rental property, thus giving up our Florida rental income. Our Chicago home would go from a 2 unit rental to a 3 unit rental since we would move out, the difference would be the lower amount of rental income, but more importantly we would still have to work, something that if I move back to Florida is not in my plans. As you can see there is a lot of give and take when it comes to our Financial Independence Journey, possibly even a cross-road of sort.

Earlier when I mentioned Mrs. Even Steven Money not drinking the Kool-Aid, she displayed her doubt recently. She asked “So what happens when we reach FI and we want to move to Florida, will we be able to retire early because aren’t we losing some of the rental income”? She brought up a good point as my plan would be to own a smaller home that would be drastically less than our current mortgage payments. She’s a numbers person so she starts asking how much the Chicago rental brings in, and the Florida house? OK so what expenses would we have? (I have this all laid out in a spreadsheet, of course I do I’m a nerd). After going through the numbers she said with a smile oh yeah this could work! My beautiful doubting wife, of course it can work, I read about this stuff daily and run spreadsheets, I know that it can work! My FI scenario relies almost entirely on rental income which is not my perfect scenario, so I explained my plan is to have a large emergency fund, stocks/bonds that receive monthly cash flow, and a side hustle like eBay or like Pauline a blogging income, I lost her, our conversation was over the latte was finished she was already thinking about if we had any ice cream in the fridge or what else was going on that had nothing to do with money.

I would love to say if you want your spouse on board you need to follow these 3 steps, but everyone’s situation is different. I have learned some things along the way about getting your spouse on board with FI, here are a few of them:

  • Nobody will be excited as you about FI. You blog about it, read about it, dream about, run spreadsheets about, I repeat nobody will be excited as you about FI.
  • You have a dream and so should your spouse. My dream is to spend a month golfing with my Dad and sleeping on my best friends couch while we incorporate the new bring your friend to work day. That is my dream, not Mrs. ESM. She has a dream to spend more time with her family, wake up and drink coffee and eat bread talking to her mother, while making sure all of her brother’s home work is done and they become successful young men. You both need dreams, separate dreams.
  • The dream needs a financial roadmap that you both are on board with. We both want to spend more time with our family, we both realize that we need to have less expenses and more income to make that happen. She is focusing on paying off the rental property, I am focusing on paying off my student loans, and we have a roadmap to retire early.
  • Give and take along the way. If all financial decisions were mine and mine alone we would focus on debts in a different order. Our investments would probably be a higher percentage and we might not be driving a big SUV (paid for). We are a team as much as you want to pay off this loan or that loan, you have to be together on your decisions and that might mean some give and take. If getting on board with our plan includes making the Florida rental home a priority, let’s do this. Whether it’s the highest rate, largest loan, or customer service reps you hate the most, you want it all paid off, so give and take a little for the common good.

I would like to think I have learned a thing or two along the way in my financial journey, but I know there is more to figure out, overcome, and learn about along the way. I hope you will join me on my journey and share insights about your own.

Don’t forget to follow me on Twitter and Google Plus and of course my blog at Even Steven Money.

Financial Independence, Is Your Spouse on Board? (2024)

FAQs

What is financial independence in marriage? ›

Financial independence is the ability to pay for your own living expenses with your income or wealth, without having to be dependent on others. Some do this through investments, and others do this through passive income, while others do this by budgeting and family planning.

Is a husband financially responsible for his wife? ›

It may seem old-fashioned, but many couples today divide financial responsibilities along gender lines, according to financial professionals. Yet even if the division isn't by gender, there's often still a division: One partner takes on the role of money manager while the other just follows along.

How to keep your spouse's next spouse from spending your money? ›

To put it another way: if you don't want your spouse's next spouse to spend your money, then talk to an estate planning attorney about your options. You could, for example, leave part of your estate to your son and the rest to your spouse.

Is it okay to be financially dependent on your husband? ›

Is being financially dependent on a husband a bad thing? I don't think it is necessarily, as long as both parties agree to it and you feel confident in your financial situation. For me, I don't feel like it's a bad thing. For other women, it might be.

How do I financially independent from my husband? ›

You can be a financially independent woman by first defining your goals, paying off debt, getting health insurance and saving money. Then, look at other revenue streams such as market and property investments. Last but not least, talk to a financial advisor for more details on ways to become financially independent.

Should a man support his wife financially? ›

There is no right or wrong answer to whether a husband should support his wife financially. No matter what you decide as a couple, what always matters is that a husband supports his partner.

Do I have to financially support my wife? ›

a person has a responsibility to financially assist their spouse or former de-facto partner, if that person cannot meet their own reasonable expenses from their personal income or assets. Where the need exists, both parties have an equal duty to support and maintain each other as far as they can.

Can a husband cut his wife off financially? ›

It tends to be motivated by power and control, and there is no scenario in which this is legal. Though people may think they can get away with it, there's no loophole that would allow it. If your spouse has put you in a position where you can't access your finances, you need to go to court right away.

Who controls the finances in a marriage? ›

Being legally married means your spouse's income (and debt) are now yours. If one of you runs up a huge credit card bill, you are both on the hook when the bill comes due. The good news is that many couples can cooperate and work together to address financial issues early in their marriage.

Can I leave my money to my kids instead of my husband? ›

Set up a trust

The trust can be created today if you want to give money to your child now, or it can be created in your will and go into effect after you are gone. The trust can receive investment assets and can be named beneficiary of your retirement accounts and/or life insurance.

What is financial infidelity in a marriage? ›

Financial infidelity occurs when one partner hides or misrepresents financial information from the other, such as keeping secret bank accounts or hiding purchases. It does not necessarily involve marital infidelity, though it can lead to divorce.

How to legally stop a spouse from spending money? ›

An automatic temporary restraining order (ATRO): This legal document is a restraining order placed on each spouse. The ATRO focuses solely on property, preventing married couples from spending money that would upend and alter their marriage's current situation.

How do I protect myself financially from my spouse? ›

How Do I Protect Myself Financially From My Spouse During a...
  1. Create a Financial Plan for Your Divorce. ...
  2. Open Your Own Bank Account. ...
  3. Separate Your Debt. ...
  4. Monitor Your Credit Score. ...
  5. Take an Inventory of Your Assets. ...
  6. Review Your Retirement Accounts. ...
  7. Consider Mediation Before Litigation. ...
  8. Popular Family Law Articles.
Aug 9, 2023

Can a married couple be financially independent? ›

Bottom line. If you're married or living with your partner, you can choose to keep your finances separate. But even in this case, you'll still have shared goals and expenses that call for a budget. Just like with anything in a relationship, communication is key.

Are you financially responsible for your spouse? ›

Most states use common law (also known as equitable distribution), which dictates that married couples don't automatically share personal property legally. In other words, you aren't responsible for your spouse's debt unless you took it out together as a joint account, or you cosigned on it.

How do you gain independence in a marriage? ›

Here are seven tips to get you started.
  1. Rediscover Those Lost Hobbies. There was something you loved to do before your marriage. ...
  2. Get Outside. Sometimes, independence is about mental space. ...
  3. Reconnect With Old Friends. ...
  4. Travel Solo. ...
  5. Make Nights In Special. ...
  6. Embrace Your Own Opinions. ...
  7. Enjoy The Download.
Jan 16, 2020

What is financial control in a marriage? ›

Financial control is part of coercive control. It can be used to disempower a partner by: preventing them from having access to funds; and. preventing them from leaving the relationship and being able to rehouse themselves and any children.

What does independence mean in marriage? ›

Being independent in a relationship gives each person time to focus on their own needs and helps build self esteem- and is overall good for your mental health. Being able to spend time separately and not feel uncomfortable is a good sign for healthy relationships.

How to stay financially independent when your partner makes more? ›

You should both keep a certain amount of your income separate, and at minimum, maintain individual saving accounts. Doing so will allow you to retain financial independence and autonomy when making individual purchases, reducing feelings of reliance or resentment.

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