Effective communication: why it’s important
Effective communication with parents and carers helps you support children’s wellbeing and development.
This is because effective communication builds understanding and trust with parents. When you understand and trust each other, you can share knowledge and experience. This allows all of you to understand what’s happening for children and work together to support them.
Parents and carers know their children best. When you work together with parents and carers, you’ll get the best outcomes for children.
Communicating with respect
Respect is the foundation of effective communication with parents, carers and families. Respect will help you better understand the parents, carers and families that you work with. This includes respect for every family’s:
- religious and cultural background, values, beliefs and languages – for example, culturally and linguistically diverse families and Aboriginal and Torres strait Islander families
- parenting arrangements – for example, blended families, co-parenting families and single-parent families
- gender diversity and sexual orientation – for example, LGBTIQ+ families
- choices – for example, family homes, communities and schools
- circ*mstances – for example, parents with intellectual disability, parents with physical disability, parents who are teenagers and families experiencing challenges.
In practical terms, respectful communication with parents, carers and families might mean:
- using preferred pronouns with parents and children – for example, ‘he’, ‘she’ or ‘they’
- using ordinary, everyday language rather than professional jargon
- working with interpreters if you speak a different language from the family you’re working with
- giving parents information that they can understand – for example, using Easy English resources for parents and carers with low literacy
- making sure that your printed resources show images of diverse families – for example, families with 2 mums or 2 dads, or families from diverse cultural backgrounds.
If you’re unsure how cultural, linguistic, social and economic diversity might affect your communication with families, you can ask others or do some research online or in books.
Listening to parents and carers
Listening is another key to effective communication.
When you listen well, you get more information about children and their families. You also get the full benefit of parents’ and carers’ in-depth knowledge of their children. And you show parents and carers that you value their experience, ideas and opinions and take their concerns seriously.
Here are ideas for listening well:
- Let parents know you’re listening and interested by giving them your full attention.
- Try to understand parents’ perspectives, even if you disagree with what they’re saying. Put yourself in their shoes. For example, ‘It sounds like you felt judged as a parent’.
- Let parents finish what they’re saying before you speak.
- Summarise what parents have said. This is a good way to check you’ve understood correctly, and to let parents know you’re listening well. For example, ‘You said that you arrived at school to pick up Taj and found him and another boy shouting at each other. Is that correct?’
- Check on what parents are feeling as well as what they’re saying. For example, ‘It sounds like you felt upset when the other parent told Taj to stop shouting. Is that right?’
Speaking with parents and carers
Consistently speaking with parents and carers in a clear and considerate way is also an essential element of effective communication.
Here are ideas for this kind of speaking:
- Find and share the positives about a child’s learning, behaviour and experiences. For example, ‘EJ did a great job of sitting still for 2 minutes in class today. It’s a big step forward for her’.
- Be open and honest. Give parents accurate information on what you observe. For example, ‘After a couple of minutes, EJ started pushing the child next to her’.
- Think before you speak, especially when you’re talking with parents about difficult or sensitive issues.
- Ask for parents’ input. For example, ‘How can we help EJ learn to take part in group activities without distracting other children?’
- Use open-ended questions to get more information if you need it. Open-ended questions give people a chance to expand on what they’re saying rather than just saying yes or no. For example, ‘What sort of things does EJ enjoy doing with her sister at home?’
- If you’re not sure about what to say next or how to say it, you don’t have to respond straight away. For example, ‘I’d like to think about that more. Can I get back to you tomorrow?’
Raising concerns with parents and carers
There might be times when you need to raise concerns with parents and carers about a child’s behaviour, wellbeing or development.
A problem-solving approach will help you work together with parents to address concerns. This approach involves:
- identifying the problem
- brainstorming as many solutions as possible
- jointly evaluating the pros and cons
- deciding on a solution to try
- putting the solution into action
- reviewing the effectiveness of the solution.
One of the keys to this approach is talking about concerns when they come up. Problems usually don’t go away by themselves. And if you let problems build up, they might be more and more difficult to address.
Here are tips for putting this approach into action:
- Prepare for conversations about difficult issues. If you think ahead about what you need to say and how to say it sensitively and respectfully, it can help your discussion go well.
- Try to schedule a time when parents are most available. For example, if you’re a child care educator or a teacher, this might be at pick-up and drop-off times. Or it might be best to call parents during the day.
- Discuss concerning behaviour without judgment. Try to focus on what has happened and whether the behaviour is appropriate. For example, ‘Ben drew on the wall and said that another child did it’ rather than ‘Ben is a liar’.
- Explain what might contribute to the behaviour. This can help you and parents work out how to change the behaviour. For example, ‘Starting school can be challenging. Children often feel worried about getting into trouble’.
- Check what parents think about the issue. Remember that perceptions of what’s appropriate can differ across cultures or contexts. For example, ‘How does your family handle it when children don’t tell the truth?’
- Offer realistic strategies suited to each family. For example, if a child needs to make new friends but they feel stressed in public, parents could start by inviting a potential friend for playdates at a playground or at home.
After an initial meeting with parents, it’s good to keep communicating to see how things are going. You can schedule a follow-up meeting to discuss whether your agreed strategies are working or whether you need to make changes.
Dealing with concerns raised by parents and carers
When parents and carers raise concerns with you, the basics of respect, listening and speaking still apply.
Also, if you focus on the issue that parents are raising and remember that your shared goal is supporting their child, it can help you avoid defensiveness or justifications.
Sometimes the best way to help is simply by listening to parents. Parents might just need to feel that their concerns have been heard. You don’t always need to look for a solution straight away.
When you need to talk about or resolve concerns with parents, it’s OK to ask a colleague or supervisor for help. You can also refer parents to your organisation’s feedback and complaints process.
