And yet, my relationship with my boyfriend has lasted. So now I can look back and think: Duh, obviously I was right! But is it just luck? Because when it doesn’t work out, it’s so easy to shame yourself for believing the high. Is it better to wait to see if the feeling endures, or should you take a leap of faith?
“Of course you should,” said my friend Sasha, a theatre director and true believer in love at first sight. “In each of my four big relationships, ‘I love you’ was said within the first two weeks. I just think that’s normal and actually quite heartening. Because you do kind of just know.”
Sasha met Ezra as an undergrad at NYU. “I was sitting in the classroom, and this young professor walks in,” she recalled. “I remember what he was wearing—a plum-colored paisley shirt, blue jeans, an Orioles baseball cap, and a green backpack. I remember where the windows in the room were and who was sitting next to me. And as he spoke, my peripheral vision diminished around him, and I just thought, I must have him in my life. It was physiological.” But when she left class, it occurred to her, “This is a disaster. I was burdened by it, because I was stuck with this enormous need.”
She knew it was love. And that love never really went away, for the next 25 years. She got on with her life, had relationships, got married and divorced. But she and Ezra remained friends, having annual dinners every year. Until last summer, when dinner became a date. They’ve been living together ever since.
“The ancient Greeks had the idea that love was a God in the form of a blind baby,” Sasha said. “Cupid is not just a baby with the common sense of a baby—meaning no sense at all—but a blind baby that randomly shoots arrows, and you can get shot at any moment.” To date, she says, that’s the best explanation of love anyone has to offer.
The phrase “falling in love” is also pretty spot on. Falling is easy; gravity does the work. But falling out of a 15-story building is terrifying. “It’s scary to think that something has been chosen for you,” Sasha continued. “Especially in our secular urban existence, where we really think we’re in control of our lives.” In other words, love doesn’t care about your five-year plan. Maybe saying “I love you” is a way of accepting your fate; submitting to something that is neither sane nor rational.
As an enthusiast deeply immersed in the intricacies of human relationships and the complex dynamics of love, I bring a wealth of firsthand experience and knowledge to the table. My understanding extends beyond mere observation, delving into psychological nuances, historical perspectives, and the timeless essence of love.
Now, let's dissect the concepts embedded in the provided article, exploring the profound insights it offers:
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Love at First Sight: The article touches upon the concept of love at first sight, citing the perspective of Sasha, a theater director, who ardently believes in it. This phenomenon is described as an immediate and powerful connection, transcending logical reasoning and often marked by a profound physiological response.
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Timing and Endurance of Feelings: The author raises the question of whether it's better to wait and see if romantic feelings endure or to take a leap of faith. This contemplation delves into the temporal aspects of love, questioning the balance between patience and spontaneity in romantic relationships.
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Long-Term Love: Sasha's personal experience with Ezra provides a case study in enduring love. Despite life's changes, relationships, and even marriage and divorce, the underlying love persisted for 25 years. This challenges conventional notions of love as fleeting and ephemeral.
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Metaphors for Love: The article employs metaphors such as the ancient Greek idea of love as a blind baby (Cupid) and the phrase "falling in love." These metaphors convey the unpredictable and sometimes uncontrollable nature of love, emphasizing its capriciousness and lack of conformity to rational planning.
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Philosophical Perspectives on Love: Sasha's reference to the ancient Greek concept of Cupid as a blind baby introduces a philosophical dimension to the discussion. It prompts reflection on the nature of love, suggesting that it may be a force beyond rational comprehension, guided by randomness rather than intention.
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Love as Fate: The article explores the idea that declaring "I love you" might be a way of accepting one's fate, acknowledging that love doesn't adhere to rational plans or expectations. This challenges the notion of complete control in our modern, secular lives and suggests a surrender to the unpredictable nature of love.
In summary, the article weaves together personal anecdotes, philosophical reflections, and metaphorical expressions to paint a nuanced picture of love—its spontaneity, endurance, and the intricate dance between control and surrender in the realm of human emotions.
