If you’ve ever had someone hurt you, chances are seeing someone that hurt you for the first time again is one of the hardest things you’ll go through. We’ve all had those moments where we’re out having the perfect day, just going for a walk, browsing through our favorite store, or buying some groceries, and we look up only to see someone that has hurt us greatly. A pain shoots through your heart and you want to run and flee, yet lash out angrily at the same time. It is a hard rush of emotions to deal with, as I’m sure many of you know. I’ve been there, like many of you, so here are some ways I’d like to share for how to handle seeing someone that hurt you from your past. Don’t cry, run or yell, but instead, try these tips.
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1
Breathe
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For starters, when first seeing someone that hurt you from your past, stop and take a deep breath. Give yourself a break and accept that you’re seeing them and going to have to deal with certain emotions. Realize that this was bound to happen sooner or later, and take a deep breath before you proceed.
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Related: 10 Tips to Help You Forgive Someone Who Has Hurt You ...
2
Don’t Hide from Them
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Whatever you do, don’t hide behind a shelf or display, hoping they won’t see you. Though it might work, it might not, and then you’ll just be embarrassed. Plus, seeing them can actually help you move on. You’ll be able to deal with emotions you might have pushed away and finally be able to move on.
UPD:
Embracing the unexpected encounter also gives you the chance to demonstrate how strong you've become. It's natural to want to flee, but there's empowerment in facing your past head-on. You may even surprise yourself with your newfound confidence and composure. Moreover, it'll prevent the awkwardness of being caught trying to duck out of sight. Own your space and remember, courage isn't the absence of fear; it's facing it despite the quiver in your heart. This confrontation, albeit daunting, is a stride towards healing and reclaiming your power.
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Related: 7 Tips for How to Confront Someone Who Lied to You ...
3
Approach Them with a Smile
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I’m not asking you to go up and hug them, but approach the person with a normal, genuine smile. It implies you’re fine, happy and moving on with your life in a positive direction and that you’re a grown up.
UPD:
When you beam with a sincere smile, you’re not only radiating confidence but also showing grace. Facing someone who has caused you pain with such poise can be incredibly empowering. Remember, a smile is your armor—it projects strength, not vulnerability. Let this moment demonstrate how much you've grown. Allowing your smile to lead the way can set the tone for a calm, collected interaction, and it might even catch them off guard. Keep it light and breezy; there's no need to delve into heavy conversation. With your smile, you tell a story of resilience and self-assuredness.
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Related: 7 Ways to Make Peace with a Hurtful Relationship in Your Life ...
4
Say Hello
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If appropriate, say hello to them. Nothing elaborate, just a friendly hello will do the job just fine. You can say “How are you?” if you like, but don’t feel the need to start a conversation. You can be cordial without making it seem like you’re totally over what they did to you.
UPD:
When you bump into them, it's okay to keep it brief. A simple smile and nod can acknowledge their presence without inviting further interaction. Remember, your greeting doesn't mean you've forgiven the hurt they caused—it's merely a gesture of maturity. Keep your tone neutral; there's no need to display warmth or coldness. This approach can help you maintain your composure and show that you're in control of your emotions.
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Related: 7 Things to do if You Feel Hurt in a Relationship ...
5
Don’t Linger
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If someone really hurt you, don’t linger around them, pretending that it’s okay for them to do what they did and just walk all over you. After being cordial, move on and proceed ahead. It implies you’re not only physically moving on, but emotionally too.
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Related: 7 Ways to Move past the Hurt from a Breakup after You Get Your Ex Back ...
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Men in general judge more from appearances than from reality. All men have eyes, but few have the gift of penetration.
6
Be Proud of Yourself
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You should be proud of yourself that you’ve finally faced the person. If they made it impossible to just walk away from them and you had to talk to them for more than a minute, be proud that you didn’t break down crying. This is the moment you’re able to start moving on and let go of the pain they caused you.
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Related: 7 Ways to Get over Someone You Never Had ...
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Lastly, now that you’ve seen this person who hurt you, it is time to let it go. The hardest part of suffering hurt is not being without the person after they hurt you, but seeing them after they did, such as in a friend or relationship breakup. Let go that things didn’t work out and move ahead with your life. It isn’t easy, but is finally now possible.
Seeing someone who hurt you for the first time is one of the hardest things to do. If someone has ever hurt you, what tips do you have to handle this situation the right way?
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Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge
this article is pathetic .. people choose to be hurt.. if your going to let someone get to u .. get empowerment .. no one hurts you but your own self choosing to be caught up in another\'s issue they simply projected at you , doesn\'t mean you have to hurt your self and make the issue your issue . I can\'t stand when others blame some else for a reaction of their own choosing .. only you responsible for your own thoughts , emotions and reactions .. and you only diminish , hurt or betray your own self ... accept it .. empower... look at your own changes that need to be made and make them in your reactions .. even the author if this article is placing blame .. pathetic lol
Thanks. I dread the day I\'ll see both my exes (and we live in a rather small town so it\'s inevitable). I had the plan on what to do in my head,and you covered everything I think!
My abusive ex is now dating a friend of my new bf and they are a rather tight circle. So we are essentially in the same friend group. It’s hard seeing ppl I like and respect not view this person the same way I do. Any advice?
Meg.. Sorry for you!! Long time ago I ran into my first boyfriend with my fat body and messy bed head. His girlfriend stared at me and he gave me a dirty look and said to me he is too good for me that\'s why he dumped me. I sweared to myself it will never happen to me again. 9 months ago I walked away from my boyfriend and stop answering his call and text me. One time he came to see me I hide in the freezer. And three weeks ago, I was talking to my mom I accidentially answer his call. I agree to met him I smile, I look sexy and I keep my conversation short . He said baby I like new you, sexy hot and confident. When you moved on you don\'t really care him act confident but polite. That\'s so cool to see how much he want you back. Be prepared, you never know who you ran into. Could be your ex or your boss.
This will help if I ever run into my parents. Or, I don\'t take the high road and go to jail for assault lol
I still get upset thinking about it. We broke up 7 yrs ago and after a month he came into my work to buy his new girlfriend lingerie... I hid in the backroom. Months later his mum came into work, she was rude (as always), she asked why we broke up and I told her that I found compromising pics on his camera with multiple older men. Oh the look on her face!!!! Not true of course, I just couldn\'t tell her he was an asshole with a drug problem. Lol
This really will come in handy when I see this person for the first time since they hurt me. I know it will hurt me deeply and I\'m so afraid old feelings will come back. it sickens me that they still have some control over me.
i think it's totally fine to hide from them if you're not ready for that confrontation or saying hi and smiling, it doesn't mean you're not over them or you're still hurt, it means you're done dealing with their sh*t , no need to sugarcoat feelings , if you don't want to talk walk away , doesn't make you weak nor cowardly.
Comments
Carla: this article is pathetic .. people choose to be hurt.. if your going to let someone get to u .. get empowerment .. no one hurts you but your own self choosing to be caught up in another\'s issue they simply projected at you , doesn\'t mean you have to hurt your self and make the issue your issue . I can\'t stand when others blame some else for a reaction of their own choosing .. only you responsible for your own thoughts , emotions and reactions .. and you only diminish , hurt or betray your own self ... accept it .. empower... look at your own changes that need to be made and make them in your reactions .. even the author if this article is placing blame .. pathetic lol
Jillian: Thanks. I dread the day I\'ll see both my exes (and we live in a rather small town so it\'s inevitable). I had the plan on what to do in my head,and you covered everything I think!
Ali: My abusive ex is now dating a friend of my new bf and they are a rather tight circle. So we are essentially in the same friend group. It’s hard seeing ppl I like and respect not view this person the same way I do. Any advice?
Vicky: Meg.. Sorry for you!! Long time ago I ran into my first boyfriend with my fat body and messy bed head. His girlfriend stared at me and he gave me a dirty look and said to me he is too good for me that\'s why he dumped me. I sweared to myself it will never happen to me again. 9 months ago I walked away from my boyfriend and stop answering his call and text me. One time he came to see me I hide in the freezer. And three weeks ago, I was talking to my mom I accidentially answer his call. I agree to met him I smile, I look sexy and I keep my conversation short . He said baby I like new you, sexy hot and confident. When you moved on you don\'t really care him act confident but polite. That\'s so cool to see how much he want you back. Be prepared, you never know who you ran into. Could be your ex or your boss.
Heather: This will help if I ever run into my parents. Or, I don\'t take the high road and go to jail for assault lol
Megs: I still get upset thinking about it. We broke up 7 yrs ago and after a month he came into my work to buy his new girlfriend lingerie... I hid in the backroom. Months later his mum came into work, she was rude (as always), she asked why we broke up and I told her that I found compromising pics on his camera with multiple older men. Oh the look on her face!!!! Not true of course, I just couldn\'t tell her he was an asshole with a drug problem. Lol
Lauren: This really will come in handy when I see this person for the first time since they hurt me. I know it will hurt me deeply and I\'m so afraid old feelings will come back. it sickens me that they still have some control over me.
Danila: i think it's totally fine to hide from them if you're not ready for that confrontation or saying hi and smiling, it doesn't mean you're not over them or you're still hurt, it means you're done dealing with their sh*t , no need to sugarcoat feelings , if you don't want to talk walk away , doesn't make you weak nor cowardly.
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