4 Money Thoughts We Have but Never Tell Anyone (2024)

The National Science Foundation estimates that the average person has between 50,000 and 70,000 thoughts per day. Regardless of one's financial situation, it's safe to assume that at least one of those thoughts is about money, because while money isn't everything, it is a critical component of our lives.

The new year ushers in an opportunity to discuss financial regrets of the past and goals for the upcoming year. But as the year moves along, conversations die down, and we're often left to deal with our daily thoughts and money struggles by ourselves. But when it comes to money, you shouldn't have to feel alone. Here are four money thoughts most of us have but never tell anyone.

4 Money Thoughts We Have but Never Tell Anyone (1)

1. Am I doing this right? The answer is, it depends.When you turn 18, you don't exactly receive a manual on adulting. For most people, their financial education consists of combining conversations with family or friends, advice (sometimes unwanted), and self-help books leaving one to wonder if they're doing it the right way.

There isn't one way to manage money, and our financial decisions should be based on our own circ*mstances, resources, and goals. While we have commonly accepted indicators to determine our financial security such as credit score and account balances, even the most confident person can be thrown for a loop when introduced to the concept of debt to income ratio.

Your debt to income ratio, or DTI, describes the percentage of your income that goes to debt payments. Take your monthly debt payments and divide them by your gross monthly income, and you get your DTI. Lenders may use this number to measure your ability to repay money you have borrowed, and most lenders prefer that a borrower's DTI is 36 percent or lower. Most of us have been taught about the importance of paying our bills on time, but when asked about our DTI ratio or other financial measures we're unfamiliar with, it can leave even the most confident person questioning whether or not they're doing it right and making the best financial choices for their current situation.

2. Have I saved enough for the rainy season? We've heard about a rainy day fund — but what about the rainy season? A rainy season could be an unexpected medical diagnosis or losing a job amid a slow job market. Unlike the weather forecast, we often don't get a warning when we're about to encounter hard financial times.

Common financial advice suggests that families or individuals have at minimum six months of their household expenses saved. But what happens when the savings account is drained and expenses are still piling up, or you're a part of the six out of 10 Americans who have less than $1,000 saved?

There are a few things that can be done to prepare for financial emergencies with longstanding effects such as:

  • Saving relentlessly and consistently
  • Living within your means
  • Keeping your DTI as low as possible
  • Purchasing long-term disability insurance, which is insurance that ensures you will still receive a percentage of your income if you cannot work due to sickness or a disabling injury.

3. Will I ever get out of debt? According to a study conducted by Northwestern Mutual, living in debt forever is among the top three fears Americans have about money, and for good reason. About 80 percent of Americans are in debt, and despite this staggering statistic, many people feel alone when faced with the task of confronting and eliminating their debt.

Casting aside the notion of good debt and bad debt, owing lenders and other individuals money can be embarrassing and even scary when you aren't sure how to climb the debt mountain. In fact, a new study commissioned by Intuit proved that the majority of millennials feel embarrassed and out of control when it comes to their personal finances. It's important to have conversations with peers about debt because some of our greatest ideas and realizations are sparked through conversations with others, and what you may see as impossible may be seen as fixable by someone else.

When we have conversations about debt and the things that scare us about money, it allows others to offer a varying perspective that may remove some of the anxiety we feel about our financial worries.

4. What happens if I just say, “Screw it"? If you've ever said, “What happens if I don't pay anyone and just live my life happily ever after" and act like none of this financial stuff is even a factor, you're not alone. Sometimes avoidance can feel like the easiest and best way to address financial concerns. But avoiding a problem doesn't always mean the problem will go away, and that's rarely the case when it comes to our money.

What if instead of saying “screw it," you said, “Okay, let's deal with this," and created a plan based on an understanding of your most important numbers?

The team at Intuit has created an app, Turbo, that will help you do just that! Turbo helps everyday people do just that by showing consumers the complete picture of their financial health — their credit score, DTI, and verified IRS-filed income. The app also provides consumers comparisons to people like them and gives them personalized advice and insights based on their tax and credit data to help them improve their numbers and help get them to where they want to be, so they can make financial decisions with confidence. You can learn more about the app and download it here.

We can't stop ourselves from thinking about money, but we can take steps to create a better relationship with money so that hopefully our money thoughts become more positive, such as “what charitable cause am I going to contribute to this month?" or “what will my next vacation look and feel like?"

Whatever thoughts you're having about money, remember, you're not the only one. Don't believe me? Check out the #RealMoneyTalk hashtag and join the conversation at @IntuitTurbo — let's get real about money.

Share your biggest money fears and tips with us @BritandCo and @IntuitTurbo.

(Photo via Getty)

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Tonya Rapley

Tonya Rapley is a nationally recognized millennial money expert and founder of the award-winning site, My Fab Finance. She has graced the cover of Black Enterprise magazine and was deemed the "New Face of Wealth Building." Her mission is to help millennial women break the cycle of living paycheck to paycheck and own their power. An engaging, relatable, and fun public speaker, Tonya has spoken at The New York Stock Exchange, Essence Fest, Bloomberg, The Taco Bell Foundation, PepsiCo, Fidelity, and a host of colleges and universities across the country.

4 Money Thoughts We Have but Never Tell Anyone (2024)

FAQs

Why should you never tell anyone how much money you have? ›

Instead, practice Stealth Wealth instead. If you start telling people how much you make, you're inevitably going to make people feel bad if they make less than you. And when you make people feel bad about their financial situation, you will no longer get their love and support.

Should I tell people about my finances? ›

Sharing financial problems with your friends and relatives can depend on the type of people they are. If your family and friends are the caring type who can give you advice on your problems without judging you, then sharing your financial problems with them can be a real blessing.

Why does money matter so much? ›

Having money makes it possible for you to start a business, build a dream home, pay the costs associated with having a family, or accomplish other goals you believe will help you live a better life. Money gives you security.

Does money matter after a certain point? ›

I also found that people who earned more money worked longer hours and felt more pressed for time.” Though the study does show that income matters beyond a previously believed threshold, Killingsworth also doesn't want the takeaway to enforce an idea that people should focus more on money.

Should you ever tell anyone how much money you have? ›

People want to know how much you earn to steal from you. Never tell people what you earn, unless it is a romantic partner. Even then you should not tell them for quite a while and not before you are serious. No, if you need help financially ask for it but if you have money donot let people know.

Is it rude to tell someone how much money you have? ›

Unless you are a person who has a lot of money and you have friends who also have the same amount of money, and that (for whatever reason) is what you decide to spend your time talking about.. go for it. Otherwise, it's tacky and rude.

What is financial shaming? ›

Money judgment can be self-judgment or others' judgment of us, aka what we went over earlier with money shaming. Money judgment often takes the form of beating yourself up, "should-ing" yourself, or somehow believing you deserved a negative financial outcome.

Why are people so private about their finances? ›

According to Brad Klontz, CFP, founder of the Financial Psychology Institute, on a blog by Northwestern Mutual, people may be disinclined to talk about money because they feel vigilant and protective over their social status. “Money is very tightly linked to our status,” Klontz said.

Who is the best person to talk to about finances? ›

Before making financial or investment decisions, U.S. News recommends that you contact an investment advisor, or tax or legal professional.

Is anything more important than money? ›

Because without a sense of purpose, life can feel pretty empty, even if you have all the material comforts money can buy. People need purpose more than they need money because a sense of purpose gives our lives direction and keeps us motivated to achieve our goals.

What is more important money or life? ›

Life is more than just money because life's richness lies in the deep connections we form, our experiences, our personal growth, and our positive impact on the world around us. While money is essential to meeting basic needs, it is not the sole reason and won't lead to a fulfilling and meaningful life.

How much money to change your life? ›

Many people dream of winning the lottery and taking home millions. But in reality, it takes a lot less money than that to change the typical U.S. adult's life. In fact, the average American considers $19,800 a life-changing sum, according to a survey conducted by OnePoll on behalf of Self Lender.

What is the 5 rule in money? ›

How about this instead—the 50/15/5 rule? It's our simple guideline for saving and spending: Aim to allocate no more than 50% of take-home pay to essential expenses, save 15% of pretax income for retirement savings, and keep 5% of take-home pay for short-term savings.

What is the happiest income? ›

The $75,000 Study

This belief is supported by a widely publicized 2010 study led by Daniel Kahneman and his Princeton colleague, Angus Deaton — both winners of the Nobel Prize in Economics — which concluded that happiness only increases with income up to $75,000.

What is the best money rule? ›

The 50-30-20 rule recommends putting 50% of your money toward needs, 30% toward wants, and 20% toward savings.

Why is it rude to talk about money? ›

My impression was that it was bragging or would start comparisons that could lead to hard feelings. People would judge you by how much money you had (or didn't have).

Why you shouldn't brag about money? ›

It's still classless, inconsiderate, and rude to brag about what you have in front of others, especially those who have less. Today, people with less are bombarded by visuals of those with more. In that context, it's more important than ever that the haves show more grace and class in the viewing eyes of the have nots.

Why is it taboo to talk about how much money you make? ›

What, then, is the reason for the taboo against talking about money? One explanation is the belief (right or wrong) that wealth equals value. It's the idea that the more we earn, the better or more important we are. So, to ask someone how much they make in their job is akin to asking them what their social place is.

Why is it rude to ask someone how much money they have? ›

The common consensus is that questions about a person's salary are “rude” and therefore off-limits. Divulging your salary can make you feel self-conscious because you're afraid that people will either pity or envy you, and neither of those are comfortable positions.

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