Do you think your partner does not love you as much as they did before? The signs are there, but it might be difficult to spot them.
Below are the following telltale signs that they’re not in love with you anymore:
They may not be as open and communicative
Sometimes people begin to sever their connection before finally admitting they’re ready to move on. You may feel your partner pulling away or shutting you out. They may not be as open and communicative.
Sometimes they’re not as affectionate. You may experience a lack of intimacy or desire from your partner.
They become over critical and dismissive
If your partner becomes overly critical or dismissive of you, they may be losing interest. Early relationships often involve infatuation and idolization, so it’s natural to lose some steam as your relationship matures. Love often becomes something deeper and more meaningful.
If you experience hypercriticism and regularly feel dismissed, it makes sense that you would question your partner’s positive regard.
She nitpicks things about you that she once loved
If she nitpicks things about you that she once loved, her feelings may be changing. It’s natural for humans who share the same space for an extended period of time to have behaviors or quirks that irritate one another.
Hopefully, these behaviors are balanced by attributes your partner deems favorable. If you find your partner constantly nitpicking without pointing out your redeemable qualities, you may want to explore what’s going on underneath the criticism.
Related: How to Stop Nitpicking in a Relationship
They are continually comparing you to others and putting you down
If they constantly compare you to others and put you down, there’s your sign. Open communication in a relationship is healthy, but shaming others to make them feel deficient is not.
It’s important our partners support our sense of self, advocate for our improvement, and communicate with us in ways that build us up, not put us down.
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist | Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor
A decrease in responsiveness or contact. A feeling of emotional distancing, irritability, and an overall dismissive attitude. Preoccupation with a cell phone and a preference to be with her friends versus you. A tendency to be less communicative and annoyed.
Related: Emotional Neglect in Marriage: Signs and What Should You Do
There may be a variety of factors influencing these behaviors, and it could be:
- Someone else.
- Breakdown of trust.
- Some other issue that is not being worked through that she is not expressing.
- She may disrespect you for not working or being as financially prosperous as you were.
- She may be preoccupied with someone she hoped you would replace from the past.
Love is not something that stops, it may change the form, but it does not stop. I guess my question back is what does love mean?
- interest?
- attraction?
- or a deep understanding and caring for another’s well-being?
“Love is an experience of having your quality of life enhanced for the greater good by knowing and being with this person. It is an experience of feeling that someone wants you to achieve your personal goals and cares about your overall well-being.”
Lisa Bahar, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
Love is not lust, attachment, obsession, and desire because these experiences are based on fear, anger, and jealousy.
Therefore, when someone professes that they do not love you anymore or that you are questioning whether they do, consider whether it was love in the first place or if the love has changed form to deep caring.
Caring can mean that they let you go because it is in the best interest of both your emotional and mental well-being. The key takeaway is that love endures and never ends, it is spiritual, and it remains despite whether you are together physically or not.
Eduard Andrei Vasile
Personal Development Counselor | Founder, Born and Reborn
Most relationships are wonderful at first. However, they must be maintained exactly like a plant. A plant needs to be watered daily, and a relationship needs nice words, a lot of tact, and diplomacy. That’s what I say to all the clients who come in with relationship problems.
Of course, not all relationships last, and even love can disappear at some point.
Wondering if your partner doesn’t love you anymore? Here are some signs we don’t often think about, but we should take them into account:
She is very late at home
We do not immediately assume that she is deceiving us, although this is our first thought. She just doesn’t feel comfortable spending time with you anymore. After all, you can’t force anyone to act against their will.
Affection and intimacy are gone
There are two key aspects to any relationship. Everything turns into monotony, and sex becomes mechanical. Do you remember the beautiful words from the past?
Well, if they no longer exist or are becoming rarer, you should think that the relationship is on the verge of extinction.
She gets angry very often
Unhappiness causes a lot of inner frustration, frustration that not everyone manifests in the same way. For this reason and perhaps out of a desire not to hurt yourself, your partner will burst for all sorts of small reasons.
She often forgets significant events
Your partner forgets important moments such as the anniversary of your relationship or your birthday. It is indeed a sad time, but she will try to detach herself from the relationship, and this forgetfulness will come with the lost feelings.
She is not excited about future plans
I’m sure you’ll want to plan your next vacation, but your partner won’t be too excited. Something is going on.
The end is not the end, however. I recommend couple counseling to those who want to fight. Remember, you both have to fight, not just one of you. Feelings can rekindle, maybe harder, but once you communicate authentically, things will settle down.
Related: How to Fix a Broken Relationship
She doesn’t say “I love you” anymore
Let’s be real here—if she no longer says those eight letters, your partner is making a very loud statement. When you do not affirm your love for each other, your relationship foundation will come crumbling down.
She no longer touches you or wants to get intimate with you
Physical chemistry and touch are important pieces to a healthy, sustainable relationship. Sex is another form of communication. If she’s swerving the bedroom, then you need to reconsider if she’s truly invested in you.
She forgets the big and little things
Let’s say a job promotion or review comes up. If she has little interest in your daily life, she is disengaged from the relationship altogether.
A truly loving, committed partner will be by your side through life’s highs and lows.
Your intuition tells you it’s not a phase
There is no need to sugarcoat your feelings. Sometimes your gut is your biggest advocate in determining where your relationship is headed. We all go through hiccups in our lives, whether financially, emotionally, psychologically, etc.
However, when you know she is not merely “distracted” but diverting her efforts elsewhere, it may be time to say goodbye.
If a woman is not in love with you anymore, she can start to withdraw from you without even realizing it. She may stop worrying about making time for you and the relationship. She may lose interest in sex or begin to find other men more attractive.
She may be less affectionate with you, even if she doesn’t realize that it’s happening or why. She may feel that she can’t trust you anymore or that your feelings for her have changed.
You may be surprised at how easy it is to overlook the signs of a woman who doesn’t love you anymore because they are so subtle. But if you pay attention, some tell-tale signs aren’t difficult to notice.
She doesn’t trust you as much as you trust her
Trust is one of the most important aspects of any relationship, especially between a man and a woman. When a woman loses trust in her man, she will pull away from him emotionally.
She won’t spend as much time with him or let him into her life as much as she used to. She will start to question things that he does and wonder what his motives are for doing them.
If she’s always accusing you of being unfaithful, then it may be time to call it quits. Most of us have trust issues from time to time, but if they start to impact your relationship negatively, then it’s time to move on. She should trust you as much as you trust her.
When she becomes more distant
A woman who loves you wants to talk about her day with you. She wants to share her thoughts and emotions with you, and she wants your feedback on what she’s talking about.
When women stop sharing things with their partners and become more distant, it means they are no longer interested in being intimate with them.
If she starts making excuses not to be with you or goes out of her way to avoid being intimate with you, then something is wrong. This may signify that she is unhappy with the relationship but can’t bear to break up with you.
Emotional distancing is the major sign that a woman loses interest in you. If a woman stops wanting to be emotionally intimate with you, all the love and romance in the world will not win her back.
If she doesn’t want to talk about her feelings, dreams, or hopes with you, it means she’s already moved on emotionally and is not going to come back.
She no longer accepts you as you are and criticizes every little thing about you
It’s normal for couples to bicker and disagree. Still, when a woman suddenly starts criticizing everything you do, it might be because she doesn’t love you anymore and is trying to end the relationship.
This is her way of telling you that she does not love you anymore. She will complain about the clothes you wear, the food you cook for her and even your friends.
If she criticizes everything about you, she is trying to make sure that she gets to move on with her life without having to be with a person she does not love anymore.
If she no longer accepts you as you are and criticizes every little thing about you, then this is a sure sign that she doesn’t love you anymore.
She doesn’t want to spend time with you anymore
If she used to want to spend all of her time with you, now she’s constantly busy. Maybe she has work or study commitments keeping her busy. That could be the case.
But if she never seems to have time for you anymore, that could signify that she doesn’t love you anymore.
She doesn’t want to talk to you anymore
Women have a way of keeping things bottled up inside them. It is easier for them to talk when they are upset rather than keep their feelings bottled up in themselves. When they can no longer contain their emotions and want to vent out their anger, they will find someone to talk to.
When your girl doesn’t talk to you anymore, this could mean that she has found someone else whom she wants to vent out to instead of talking.
They’re not as expressive as they used to be anymore
Depending on how long you’ve been together, knowing your partner’s love language is a pretty essential part of growing together in any relationship.
Ask yourself, has the way they express themselves changed? If your partner’s love language includes physical affection, for example, carefully observe if they’re changing habits.
Are you both still able to make time for the little things? If they’re not expressive anymore, you might want to reflect on the direction of your relationship with them.
She’s not making an attempt to connect
Remember the initial stages of a relationship, where you’d introduce your partner to your friends and hope you all get along like one big happy family? Well, where’d those friends gone?
Is she still making an effort to get you all together and get you to bond? It’s a sign of being fully, holistically included in someone’s life – and if you’re a part of that, you’re likely not going to be in their life much longer.
Whenever you try to gauge if you’re in a happy, loving relationship – ask yourself and your partner, “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?“. The answers would be holistic and include standings with regards to career, family, and relationship direction.
Ask yourself:
- Is your partner including you in their plan?
- Does their plan show any realistic adjustments for your life together?
- Does it match your 5-year plan, or are they deliberately choosing a path that strays away from you?
Get honest answers for all these questions, and you’ll know exactly whether or not she loves you anymore.
On a more personal note, my wife also asked for a divorce out of the blue eight months ago, so while the signs she wasn’t in love with me anymore seem obvious in retrospect, they didn’t to me at the time.
They care less about their appearance
When a wife or girlfriend has fallen or is falling out of love with you, expect them to care less about their appearance. They may just keep the same casual clothes on that they slept in, stop wearing makeup, or wear it less often, and getting their hair done may happen less frequently.
The only exception will be if someone else is already in the picture or if they are actively trying to find your replacement (which is common).
She is cold, distant, or aloof in her communication
When your wife or girlfriend no longer loves you, she may get cold, distant, or aloof in her communication. Even if it’s negative, passion still indicates she has feelings for you. Once those feelings are gone, most of the emotional connection to you will go away.
Additionally, she may seem disinterested in you and what’s going on with you. She may stop asking how work was or inquire where you are going if you are leaving the house.
Saying “I love you” in response to you saying it first
Beyond those things, some other, more subtle things include her only saying “I love you” in response to you saying it first, not saying it if you say it to her, and being vague or non-committal if you bring up a future vacation or trip somewhere.
If she’s contemplating leaving but not ready to announce it, if you bring up going somewhere for the 4th of July week several months away, she will say things like “I’m not sure I can get the time off” or “That sounds fun” but then quickly change the subject.
She is no longer making eye contact
Another subtle sign is no longer making eye contact. Assuming this is new behavior and not how she always is with everyone, not making eye contact is a way of avoiding emotional intimacy.
After all, unless there was a major transgression like cheating, she likely feels some level of guilt or remorse over wanting to leave you. And the emotional intimacy of eye contact may be too much for her.
Lastly, she will never initiate public displays of affection, and may not even allow it if you initiate it.
She begins to criticize you for things that she didn’t have issues with before
Very often, there are signs that something is wrong in a relationship. Some are subtle, and others are in your face.
Here are some signs that she isn’t feeling the relationship any longer or is no longer in love:
- She doesn’t want you touching her.
- She isn’t interested in sex.
- She doesn’t hug or kiss you spontaneously.
- Communication is short and becomes colder and curter as time goes on.
- She spends way more time with her friends, and even when the two of you are together, she is on her phone.
- Her body language is turned away and she doesn’t face you.
- The things she used to say to you that showed you she loved you (admiring words, facial expressions, etc.) are all gone.
- She starts avoiding you.
- She begins to criticize you for things that she didn’t have issues with before.
- She breaks dates with you and starts spending less time with you.
A relationship takes a lot of time and commitment to work. There is no “perfect” relationship, and what may work for one person may not work for the other.
If you are seeing any of these signs, start addressing them right away and communicate your feelings to see if the relationship can be saved. You can also get counseling or take classes together on relationships.
Couples who learn together, love better!
She doesn’t care anymore
If your partner has stopped listening to what you are saying or started making excuses often to avoid spending time with you, then she most likely doesn’t love you anymore. She has emotionally checked out of the relationship and has given up trying.
This typically involves:
- one-worded answers,
- avoiding eye contact and intimacy,
- and generally acting uninterested
She doesn’t want you to touch her
Another sign that she doesn’t love you anymore is if she doesn’t want to touch you, and she doesn’t want you to touch her. If your partner doesn’t want to be close to you, even if it’s simply holding hands or hugging each other, then she’s most likely not into you anymore.
Major unhappiness
There will be difficult times in life, but couples in a strong relationship can usually weather the storm together and can’t imagine a day without their spouse. If the difficult time passes and she is still finding that she is unhappy.
She might be asking herself if the relationship is causing her unhappiness.
- “How does my relationship happiness rate on a scale from one to ten?”
- “Can my relationship be changed?”
- “Do I see us ever being happy again?”
Lack of communication
Communication is key to a happy and healthy relationship. Lack of communication in a relationship is a clear sign that the end is around the corner, especially if your spouse isn’t talking to you but is talking to others first.
You have tried time away, and it was not enough time
If you spend time away from your spouse and it only leaves you longing for more time away, being single might be what you are seeking.
Love is an emotion expressed in both verbal and nonverbal ways. In cases that the other person feels that love is already gone, the following can be the tell-tale signs.
She doesn’t listen to her partner anymore
This is the most obvious sign. She loses interest in her partner’s stories. Jokes are no longer funny. She will blurt out unrelated responses to her partner’s stories. This can be a sign that she is fading away from an emotional bond.
She finds excuses to spend more time away from her partner
It can be those unscheduled out-of-town trips with friends. She will give a lot of excuses to be away. It may be impromptu business meetings, friends who need help, and a lot more.
The frequency of this type of event may increase over time.
She reacts to anything at the flick of a finger
She will display frequent emotional outbursts and unexplained erratic mood swings. It can happen for no clear reason. Try to analyze if this is a normal reaction or a clear sign of getting her way out of the relationship.
She refuses to have an intimate connection
Avoiding sexual contact with her partner for no clear reason is a red flag already. If she is saying “no” to sex, then this is a clear sign that there is something wrong.
Reality states that there is no 100% fool-proof basis for saying that love is gone. A clear, honest, and straightforward communication is the only way to find out. No matter how hard it may be, one must be ready to hear the truth.
She’d had it with you, and she’d had enough of it
Your partner can be the type to squabble about trivial matters. She also told you that she wouldn’t care anymore if she weren’t torn up about these things.
She hardly ever speaks to you
Things may have gotten out of hand at that point. She doesn’t want to talk to you about anything. Maybe she’s merely reacting to your queries. This is a clear indication that something is awry.
Communication is the foundation of any connection, romantic or other. You don’t need to be a relationship expert to recognize this.
She is harsh with you
Silence isn’t always the only indicator that a romantic relationship has ended. On the other hand, there is indeed a lot of noise, and it isn’t the good type.
If your lover constantly complains about you, you need to think about it. It’s also likely that she’s under a lot of stress and is acting unpleasant as a result. Make sure she understands that she is free to share her suffering with you.
She doesn’t think of you when she makes plans
Women are allowed to be as independent as they want, but they usually notify their spouses that they really want it that way. They would also express their want for some “me time.“
Communication is crucial to a successful partnership yet again.
She has a tendency of flirting with strangers
She’s not only avoiding you now, but it appears that her affections have been moved to other people.
No, what you witnessed was not a typical exchange. You know what she’s thinking like when she’s flirting with you. After all, you’ve been on the receiving end of it — albeit a long time ago.
People are strange. Sometimes, there will be no signs she doesn’t love you anymore. She will leave you wondering what happened. However, it is usual to see some changes in her behavior.
She doesn’t talk about anything that made her happy in the past
The first problem in any serious relationship is when you notice that she doesn’t want to talk about something that made her happy to talk about with you before.
It is a crucial problem because she is distancing herself from you, and she is not interested in sharing everyday stories with you. This problem happens when she loses trust in you. That can happen even if you did nothing wrong.
When you sense something is wrong but don’t know what it is
Another sign is when you feel that something isn’t ok, but you don’t know what. It is the situation where you can see that you don’t enjoy a relationship like before but don’t know why.
That usually happens when the other person in a relationship has stopped doing little things that made you happy. That is also a warning sign that she doesn’t love you anymore.
She doesn’t want you to spend time with her friends
The next thing that should worry you is when she doesn’t want you to spend time with her friends.
This usually happens when she is planning to break up with you, and the first step is distancing you from her life, and the most important part of that life is her family and friends.
You might be having this feeling of losing your importance or a slight change in your relationship. This can be true because of losing that very spark that you might’ve had in the initial phase.
Here are some of the possible signs to identify from if your girlfriend/wife is losing interest:
She is not understanding and often gives lame excuses without logic
Mutual understanding is an important part of any relationship, and lacking even a point can lead to unnecessary arguments. If in case you feel she is not understanding and coping with your situation by giving lame excuses without any logic, then yes, it’s a sign.
She avoids you but is free for other people
Secondly, if your partner is trying to avoid you even when she is free and has time for others, then this is a possible sign.
When she is more than friendly with other people
If your partner is in touch with other guys in more than just a friendly way, then this is a possible sign of losing interest.
Constant arguments over little things
Lastly, having simultaneous arguments from your partner’s side over stupid things always leads to either breaking or pointing out towards such a thing, which is something you shouldn’t ignore at all costs.
Waiting for obvious signs will only prolong the process. You need to understand that most women are not good at showing what they really feel, especially if they know they’ll hurt someone. And you should not bet on that.
The moment you feel something odd, ask her directly
The key here is to make up your mind and have some courage in asking her directly. Why choose to wait for a concrete sign when you can get an answer from her right away?
Asking her directly will let you skip the guessing game and save you time.
So the moment you feel something is odd, ask her directly. This way, you’ll immediately know whether or not she’s still into you or not.
The bottom line, knowing that she doesn’t love you anymore is certainly heartbreaking. But if you really love her, you’ll do everything you can to turn things around.
Don’t give up yet. You need to be the best version of yourself and do everything to get her back.
She lies about where she’s been and who’s with her
There are a lot of signs to let you in if she doesn’t love you anymore.
Here are a few of them:
- She starts making plans without you.
- If she starts hanging out with you less often and more with her friends, then that may be a sign her feelings have moved on.
- She starts avoiding you.
- She’ll have plenty of excuses ready when you ask her to go out with you.
- She only calls you when she needs you.
- Be it food, money, or if she needs a ride, but when it’s your turn, she’s suddenly too busy.
- She doesn’t compromise.
- It’s her needs and demands that are more important than yours.
- She isn’t completely present around you.
- Like always looking at her phone when you’re talking to her and always speaking in one-word responses.
- Arguments happen all too often.
- It feels more like a war room every time you’re both together, with tensions running high.
- She lies about where she’s been and who’s with her.
- If she starts lying about this, then chances are she doesn’t care enough to let you know the truth.
These are really just guidelines and not rules. Also, some signs may be subtle, while others are rather evident. If she starts acting like this, you should talk to her to make sure you’re not reading things the wrong way.
I hope these signs can help you get out of a bad relationship before the person breaks your heart.
When she starts giving you the cold treatment
You know that her feelings are fading when she starts giving you the cold treatment, not because she’s angry but because she’s not as energetic and enthusiastic as she was before.
You can feel it through the SMS you send. Or when you ask and she responds with no interest at all. Or when she doesn’t appreciate your presence any longer. When these things are present or occur most of the time, it’s a sign that she’s slowly falling out of love.
Because, in most cases, if a person still loves you, she’ll appreciate the little things you do and be enthusiastic and energetic whenever she sees you or feels you’re on her side.
Frequently Asked Questions
How can I tell if my partner is just going through a rough patch or if she really doesn’t love me anymore?
It can be difficult to distinguish between a temporary dry spell and a permanent change in your partner’s feelings. However, here are a few questions you should consider:
• Has your partner expressed any specific concerns or complaints about your relationship?
• Have you noticed changes in your partner’s behavior or communication patterns?
• Have you tried to address problems or conflicts in your relationship, and if so, how has your partner responded?
• Have you noticed any changes in your own feelings or behavior toward your partner?
If you’re still unsure, having an open and honest conversation with your partner is best. Ask her how she feels and if there is anything she needs from you or your relationship.
Does this mean our relationship is over?
Not necessarily. Relationships have their ups and downs, and it’s normal for people to go through phases where they feel less connected. However, if you find that these signs persist over a long period of time, it could be a red flag that something deeper is going on.
What should I do if I notice these signs in my relationship?
The first step is to talk to your partner and express your concerns. Find a time when you can both be calm and have an open conversation. Be honest about how you feel and listen to their side of the story. If you’re having trouble communicating, you should see a couples therapist.
What if my partner confirms that they don’t love me anymore?
This can be a very difficult situation, but it’s important that you respect your partner’s feelings. Take some time to process your feelings and think about what you want for your future. You may need to separate and move on, or you can work together to strengthen your relationship. Remember that your own well-being and happiness must come first.
How do I know when it’s time to move on?
Trust your gut. If you’ve tried everything to make the relationship work but feel unhappy and unfulfilled, it may be time to move on. Everyone’s situation is different, and there is no one-size-fits-all answer. However, it’s important to do what is best for you and your mental health.
How can I cope if my partner doesn’t love me anymore?
Coping with the end of a relationship can be challenging, but there are some steps you can take to take care of yourself during this time:
Allow yourself to feel your emotions. It’s normal to feel sadness, anger, or grief when a relationship ends. Allow yourself to feel these emotions and process them in a healthy way.
Seek support from friends and family. Reach out to people you trust who can support and encourage you during this time.
Take care of yourself physically. Get enough sleep, eat a healthy diet, and exercise or do other physical activities regularly.
Engage in self-care activities that you enjoy, such as reading, watching movies, or practicing yoga.
Seek professional help if needed. Consider seeing a therapist or counselor who can help you process your feelings and emotions.
Is it possible to be friends with an ex-partner after a breakup?
It’s possible to be friends with an ex-partner after a breakup, but it can be challenging and may not be the right decision for everyone. Here are a few things to keep in mind:
Give yourself time and space to heal. It’s important to take some time after a breakup to process your feelings and emotions before attempting to be friends with your ex.
Consider your motivations for wanting to be friends. Are you really interested in maintaining a friendship, or are you hoping to rekindle the relationship?
Communicate openly and honestly with your ex about your intentions and the boundaries of your friendship.
Be considerate of your ex’s feelings and needs. If your ex isn’t interested in a friendship, it’s important to respect their decision and give them space.
Take things slowly and be patient. Rebuilding a friendship with an ex can take time and effort.
Remember that a friendship with the ex isn’t always the best choice for everyone. It’s important to put your own well-being first and make choices that are consistent with your values and needs.
Can I make my partner fall in love with me again?
You cannot control another person’s feelings. However, you can work to build a healthy relationship based on mutual respect, trust, and communication. If your partner is willing, you can work to build a stronger emotional connection and rekindle the love between you.
How long should I wait to see if my partner’s feelings change?
There is no set time frame for how long it may take for your partner’s feelings for you to change. However, if you feel like you’ve been waiting a long time and your partner isn’t showing any signs of love or affection, it may be worthwhile to reevaluate the relationship and see if it’s meeting your needs.
Is it my fault if my partner doesn’t love me anymore?
No one is ever to blame for another’s feelings. If your partner doesn’t love you anymore, it’s important to realize that it has nothing to do with your worth or personality. There are two people involved in a relationship, and both parties are responsible for their own feelings and actions.
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