3 Unexpected Lessons I Learned From The Kon Mari Method (2024)

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I’m pretty much a clutter-free person. I don’t have anything unnecessary lying around and on more than one occasion have tossed thingsthat I later found out were useful and necessary.

Everything in my home has its place, and if someone moves something from where it belongs, I get annoyed. That’s my perfectionistic tendencies kicking in.

So I figured downsizing my home and preparing for an upcoming yard sale would be a piece of cake.

I mean, I purge, declutter and hold annual yard sales regularly so that I don’t get inundated with stuff that I no longer need or use. I consign clothes regularly and donate the rest.

But when faced with the tough decision of decluttering my house and parting with objects that I have had forever, I was confronted with some unforeseenlessons all thanks to the Kon Mari Method.

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The Unexpected Lessons I Learned for The Kon Mari Method

3 Unexpected Lessons I Learned From The Kon Mari Method (1)

Lesson One: The Kon Mari MethodHighlights Your Wasteful Ways

As I started down my journey of choosing items for the yard sale, at first, it was easy.

Sure, my home is neat and tidy already, but I did have too much stuff. I had too many clothes that fell into the “someday when I lose 10, 20, or 30lbs I’ll wear them again” and far too manyitems that fit but I never wore.

When I pulled these things out and started evaluating them and applying the Kon Mari Method, I found I had a bit more difficulty with this aspect of my decluttering.

The method is ratherstraightforward.

You simply ask yourself if an object brings you joy. If it does you keep it and if it doesn’t you get rid of it (toss, donate, yard sale it).

So I began in earnest and found myself struggling with items that didn’t necessarily bring me joy but if I disposed of them would represent a significant waste of money.

Most, if not all of the items, were clothing, shoes, and accessories that were purchased long ago when I was in the throws of my shopping addiction and spent recklessly. They were expensive clothes that were over ten years old.

That’s when it hit me; all these items were a reminder of my old extravagant ways.

They were a souvenir of how I nearly bankrupted myself and put my entire family in financial ruins. It was a painful reminder of my past recklessness and how much money I had thrown away buying things I did not need.

I thought I had thoroughly forgiven myself for my past spending frenzies, but clearly, I was wrong.

I still had work to do in this area, and part of the work would have to include parting with these items.

I had been holding onto this belief that if I kept these things and made a promise to myself to “use them someday” it would absolve me of my past behavior. But that wasn’t true. I knew I needed to purge these items and to forgive myself once and for all.

In the end, I got rid of or consigned 20 bags of clothing, shoes, and accessories. I thanked the items for being there at a time when I needed to learn a valuable lesson in my journey and let them go.
3 Unexpected Lessons I Learned From The Kon Mari Method (2)

Lesson Two: The Kon Mari Method Showcases Unfinished Business

Clutter often represents unfinished business.

Like all the beading equipment I keep in a tote bag in the back of my closet.

I use to make all sorts of jewelry with it. Most of it was so-so. Truth be told, I just didn’t have an eye for design. I vowed I’d take some classes but guess what happened? Nothing, that’s what.

I’ve never taken a class, and the supplies sat idly in the closet and have done so for years.

Instead of getting rid of these supplies, I’ve kept them. They are a reminder of unfinished business. The unfinished business of “someday I’ll take a class.”

To be honest, I’d rather do something else with my time than going to a beading class. So the beading supplies went into the yard sale box.

By doing this, I freed myself from the ‘someday’ burden I had placed upon myself and opened myself to consider activities I was interested in pursuing.

3 Unexpected Lessons I Learned From The Kon Mari Method (3)

Lesson Three: The Kon Mari Method Emphasizes the StruggleBetween Our Past and Future

Figuring out what brings us joy is the easy part. All you have to do is touch it to realize in an instant if an item warms your heart and makes your soul sing.

It’s in the discarding process, as I can attest that the problem rears its head.

Kondo tells us there are only two reasons you can’t let something go: an attachment to the past or a fear of the future.

Oh boy, was she ever right. This struggle has become increasingly evident as I’ve struggled with what to keep and what to discard.

I realized, I’m attached to the past I’ve created in my home, and I’m afraid of what the next chapter of my life will bring. I want the stability I created here to be recreated in my new environment, and I hope I can pull that off. I won’t know until I get there.

I can recognize this as I look at items and discuss with my daughter my need for her to bring these things into her new home. I’ve got this constant battle raging inside myself trying to hold on to the present and feeling optimistic about the future.

I know I’ll get there partly because the Kon Mari method has opened my eyes to the conflict. But until then, I’ll keep sorting, discarding and questioning which possession brings me joy and which ones don’t.

I don’t think this will be easy and in fact, I’m certain it will be hard, but nothing stays the same no matter how much we want it too.

And somehow I’ll learn to let go of what was and embrace my future. I’ll learn to hold the memories of my home deep in my heart and will create a new home with new memories.

WANT TO DIVE DEEPER?

Watch this short video and learn the true cost of clutter.

MY FAVORITE DECLUTTERING TOOLS

thredUP
thredUP is not your typical thrift store. They’re the world’s largest online secondhand shopping destination with thousands of like-new styles from your favorite brands at up to 90% off retail. Just clean out your closet, order a kit, and mail the clothes back to thredUp. They do the rest and send you a check. Plus when you join thredUP you get $10 to spend any way you like!Join here.

decluttr
Decluttr specializes in buying used CDs, DVDs, Blu-rays and games to help people make room and money. With Decluttr users can enter their items’ barcodes into the site’s valuation engine and get an instant offer. Also, Decluttr features an app that allows users to scan items through their smartphones. Clean out those bookshelves and get rid of your old cd’s, DVD’s and more withdecluttr. Go here to learn more and to start selling.

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3 Unexpected Lessons I Learned From The Kon Mari Method (2024)

FAQs

What is the Kon Marie method of decluttering? ›

The KonMari method is Marie Kondo's minimalist-inspired approach to tackling your stuff category-by-category, rather than room-by-room. It teaches you to ask a simple question when you go about tidying up: Ask yourself if each item in your home sparks joy. If it doesn't, get rid of it.

What does Marie Kondou say about sparking joy? ›

Joy is personal, so everyone will experience it differently; Marie describes it as “…a little thrill, as if the cells in your body are slowly rising.” Through the process of selecting only those things that inspire joy, you can identify precisely what you love – and what you need.

What are the 6 rules of tidying up Marie Kondou? ›

Marie Kondo's 6 basic rules of tidying
  • Commit yourself to tidying up.
  • Imagine your ideal lifestyle.
  • Finish discarding first.
  • Tidy by category, not by location.
  • Follow the right order.
  • Ask yourself if it 'sparks joy'
Jan 8, 2019

What is the 3 second declutter rule? ›

Created by professional organizer Kayleen Kelly, the three-second rule for decluttering requires you to decide in three seconds if you'll keep or get rid of an item. If you hesitate for more than three seconds, then the item stays. Lately, I've noticed that even non-dining room items have ended up stuffed inside it.

What is the golden rule of decluttering? ›

Rule #1: Toss the Clutter

The first rule when decluttering your closet is to be ruthless and get rid of anything you don't absolutely love or need. This means parsing through every item and asking yourself: Did I wear this in the past year? Does it fit properly? Is it damaged or stained?

Why was Kondo executed? ›

Kondō was declared guilty of participation in the assassination of Sakamoto Ryōma on April 30, 1868 and was beheaded three weeks later at the Itabashi execution grounds on May 17, 1868.

Does Marie Kondo still clean? ›

Marie Kondo delivered a shock to fans during a recent webinar to promote her latest book, “Marie Kondo's Kurashi at Home: How to Organize Your Space and Achieve Your Ideal Life.” The decluttering queen is no longer tidying up as much after giving birth to her third son, or as Kondo put it, “My house is messy” (via The ...

Why does Marie Kondo always wear white? ›

Marie Kondo always wears white.

Why? Because it's associated with cleanliness. “It is part of my brand,” she told The New Yorker.

What are Marie Kondos' 5 steps? ›

Declutter your home and spark joy with the KonMari Method
  • Commit yourself to tidying up.
  • Imagine your ideal lifestyle.
  • Finish discarding first.
  • Tidy by category, not by location.
  • Follow the right order.
  • Ask yourself if it sparks joy.
Feb 10, 2023

Did Marie Kondou change her mind? ›

Three children later, the 39-year-old's mindset has shifted radically. “As long as the living room floor is clean, then that is what the new tidying threshold becomes,” she says.

How do you declutter your life like Marie Kondo? ›

The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing explores how putting your space in order causes “correspondingly dramatic changes in lifestyle and perspective.” Marie Kondo, the author, recommends that you defy conventional wisdom and start by discarding and only then thoroughly ...

What is Marie Kondos' famous phrase? ›

To truly cherish the things that are important to you, you must first discard those that have outlived their purpose.

What is the Marie Kondo declutter list? ›

KonMari Method Checklist and Organization Guide
  • Make a Commitment.
  • Visualize Your Ideal Lifestyle.
  • Eliminate Distractions.
  • Discard Stuff Before Tidying.
  • Tidy by Category (Not Room)
  • Organize in Order.
  • Hold Each Item and Figure Out What “Sparks Joy”
  • Avoid Getting Too Sentimental.
Feb 25, 2020

Why has Marie Kondo given up? ›

Before welcoming her third child, Marie said she was a professional tidier who tried to maintain order in her home at all times. Now, however, she is more focused on spending time with her young family. 'I have kind of given up on that, in a good way for me. ' Marie Kondo says.

How to do the Marie Kondom method? ›

There are six basic rules to get started:
  1. Commit yourself to tidying up.
  2. Imagine your ideal lifestyle.
  3. Finish discarding first. Before getting rid of items, sincerely thank each item for serving its purpose.
  4. Tidy by category, not location.
  5. Follow the right order.
  6. Ask yourself it it sparks joy.
Jan 11, 2019

What is the core 4 method of decluttering? ›

The Core 4 Organizing Method breaks down the daunting task of decluttering and organizing into 4 simple steps: Clear Out, Categorize, Cut Out, and Contain.

How do you clear out clutter Marie Kondo? ›

Marie Kondo: How to clear out sentimental clutter
  1. Focus not on what to chuck, but on what to keep. ...
  2. Ask yourself of each object: does it spark joy in my heart? ...
  3. Make sure you're properly committed to having a tidy-out. ...
  4. Never leave stuff in boxes at your parents' home, or send it to them.
Jan 14, 2017

What is the 5 things tidying method? ›

“When the sea of stuff starts to make you feel panicky, take a deep breath and remember that no matter how much clutter there is, there are really only five item categories in any room: trash, dishes, laundry, things that have a place, and things that don't,” KC Davis, LPC, Houston-based therapist and author of How to ...

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