20 Signs You're a Terrible Host (2024)

Entertaining

20 Signs You're a Terrible Host (1)

by Brent Furdyk

Updated December 30, 2022

Are you guilty of committing these hosting sins? Even the most expert host can slip up here and there, especially during the stressful holiday season. Read on for 20 signs you’re a terrible host, hoping you’ll curb these party fails!

Originally published Dec 6, 2017. Updated Dec 30, 2022.

20 Signs You're a Terrible Host (2)

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You Don’t Make Introductions

A host should be responsible for introducing guests to other guests they may not know. Bringing people into your home and then having them awkwardly introduce themselves is bad form and increases the likelihood that less-gregarious guests will keep to themselves and have a terrible time.

Related: How to Be a Better Host: The Best Tips for Entertaining Family and Friends

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You’re Stressed Out —and Let Everybody Know It

“Never let ’em see you sweat.” Sure, it’s an old tagline from an underarm deodorant commercial, but it also applies to hosting a party. If guests see that you’re completely stressed out and overwhelmed by having a few people over, they’re going to feel similarly stressed. Neither you nor they will have any fun, and a lousy night is guaranteed for all. Even if you do feel stressed out, it’s incumbent on you to try to hide it from guests so they can loosen up, relax and have a good time; who knows, you might just end up doing the same.

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You Leave Guests’ Glasses Empty

A good host knows that it’s key to keep the libations flowing. And if offering guests drinks and refills seems like too big a task, enlist a family member to take on that responsibility –or spend a few bucks and hire a bartender. Most guests – especially the polite ones –may feel reluctant to serve themselves drinks, so it’s your job as host to ensure that having a co*cktail or two doesn’t feel like an imposition.

Related: 10 Fabulous Hostess Gifts That Are Under $100

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You’re Not Keeping an Eye on the Thermostat

Temperature is an important aspect of a party’s enjoyment factor, yet it’s something that few of us actually focus on. Yet we should; a party that’s too warm is going to make people feel groggy, while an environment that’s too cold will leave guests feeling chilly and uncomfortable. When it comes to your thermostat, use the “Goldilocks principle” and make sure you come up with a temperature that’s just right.

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You Start Cleaning Up Mid-Party

Unless your goal is to send guests scurrying to the door, don’t start washing dishes and tidying up while guests are enjoying themselves. A good host will focus on the guests’ enjoyment and save cleaning things up until after everybody’s left.

20 Signs You're a Terrible Host (7)

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You’re Focused on the Time

If guests see you constantly checking your watch throughout the evening, they will feel like they’re imposing and are likely to beat a hasty exit. Ignore your watch (heck, put it in a drawer for the evening if you’re that compulsive), and let the party flow without thinking about what time it is.

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You Don’t Tidy Up

One of the most basic things a good host will do is clean up the place before guests arrive. Stepping into a cluttered home will likely make guests come up with excuses for why they need to leave immediately. Be sure to also prep your guest room for any last-minute overnight requests.

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You Didn’t Buy Enough Booze

Nothing says “party’s over!” louder and clearer than running out of liquor. Stocking up on beer, wine and whatever other adult beverages you plan to serve unless you plan to have your party come to a grinding halt mid-way through the evening.

Related:

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You Expect Guests to Help Themselves to Food

If you’ve slaved away creating tastebud-tempting appetizers and hors d’oeuvres for guests but place them on a table and expect guests to eat, you’ve only gone halfway to the finish line. Take a few moments to walk around and offer food to guests, who are likely to feel self-conscious about grabbing food when nobody else does. We’ve all witnessed the party scenario wherein a plate of delicious hors d’oeuvres sit untouched amidst a group of hungry guests because nobody wants to be the first one to take a bite. Not only will offering food encourage guests to eat the food you prepared, but it will also help you circulate and grab some face time with each guest.

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You’re Hitting the Bottle Harder Than Your Guests

Guests will be encouraged to have a good time if they see you having a good time –just not too good a time. A good host should be the master of ceremonies at a party, keeping the good times flowing while ensuring everyone is enjoying themselves, which is tough to do when you’re three sheets to the wind yourself. Drinking too much while hosting a soiree is a mistake you don’t want to make.

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You Ask Guests to Pay Up

Inviting guests to a party and then asking them to chip in a couple of bucks to pay for food and booze is the epitome of tackiness – but a great way to ensure that nobody will show up the next time you ask people over. Instead, try these tips for holiday entertaining on a budget.

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You Don’t Have Enough Seating

A good host will ensure there’s plenty of seating for guests, but having too many chairs cluttering up a space is as much of a party faux pas as not having enough. In fact, if you’re hosting a co*cktail party it’s a good idea to have fewer chairs than guests, which will ensure that people are forced get up and mingle as opposed to staying planted in one spot all night.

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You Haven’t Made Arrangements for Pets

Of course you love your pets, but don’t assume your guests feel the same way. What if they’re allergic, or simply not comfortable with animals roaming around underfoot? A good host will confine dogs and cats to a locked-off room, or make arrangements for them to stay with someone else on the night of the big bash, thereby eliminating one potential problem that doesn’t even occur to many pet-owners.

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You Have No Plan for Music

Music at a party should be an element that enhances everyone’s enjoyment, not something that steals focus. Unless your party plans include dancing, then keep the music at a level that’s loud enough to be heard in the background yet soft enough that guests don’t need to yell over it in order to be heard. Even worse is having no music at all, which can result in an eerie silence whenever conversation lulls. The type of music is also a factor, which is why streaming services such as Apple Music and Spotify offer an array of playlists in various genres specifically geared to whatever type of party you have planned; if making musical playlists isn’t your thing, pick one and play it.

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You Didn’t Make Enough Food

A good host will have more food on hand than guests can possibly eat, not vice-versa. Hungry people drinking on an empty stomach is a bad combination. If you ever see your party guests huddling together and discussing what kind of pizza they’re about to order, that’s a pretty solid indication that you missed the mark.

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You Constantly Check Your Phone

Smartphone addiction is an actual thing, so no judgement. But if you’re one of those types who obsessively checks emails, texts, news headlines and the like, you’ll want to ditch the phone for the evening and keep your focus on your guests. If guests see you constantly checking your phone all night, don’t be surprised to hear the phrase, “Is it 8:30 already? We’ve gotta get going…” A host who stays on a cell phone all night is a guaranteed party-killer

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You Don’t Stop Apologizing

A little self-deprecation can be a good thing, but if you spend all night apologizing for wine that’s not as chilled as it should have been or food that’s not as hot as you would have liked it, you’ll be drawing the focus to negative aspects your guests probably didn’t even notice – until you made them notice. Don’t apologize, and don’t ask if guests are having a good time –even if they aren’t, do you really think they’d tell you?

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You Leave Guests’ Glasses Empty

A good host knows that it’s key to keep the libations flowing. And if offering guests drinks and refills seems like too big a task, enlist a family member to take on that responsibility –or spend a few bucks and hire a bartender. Most guests – especially the polite ones –may feel reluctant to serve themselves drinks, so it’s your job as host to ensure that having a co*cktail or two doesn’t feel like an imposition.

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You’re Not Having Fun

On the flip side of a host who has too much fun at a party is a host who is clearly not having any fun at all, making it painfully obvious to guests that you’re not thrilled about having to cater to their every whim. Chill out, lighten up and treat your guests like, well, guests. Remember, you invited these people; it’s your job to make them feel welcome (even if you need to pretend).

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You Act Like a Neat Freak

If you’re running around shifting coasters beneath people’s drinks and vacuuming up crumbs that spill from a plate, your guests are going to feel hemmed-in and inhibited –not exactly the vibe you want at a party. Even if you’re a grade-A neat freak, curb those impulses and focus on your guests’ enjoyment, not on how much they’re messing up your living room.

Related: TikTok Cleaning Hacks That’ll Change Your Life

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20 Signs You're a Terrible Host (22)

Written ByBrent Furdyk

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FAQs

20 Signs You're a Terrible Host? ›

A GREAT HOST EXUDES A WELCOMING EASE & GENUINE WARMTH.

It really is the most important thing you can do and sets an immediate tone to the evening for everyone. Put your entertaining jitters aside, open that door with a smile (and maybe even a hug) and let the party begin.

What makes an excellent host? ›

A GREAT HOST EXUDES A WELCOMING EASE & GENUINE WARMTH.

It really is the most important thing you can do and sets an immediate tone to the evening for everyone. Put your entertaining jitters aside, open that door with a smile (and maybe even a hug) and let the party begin.

What are the rules for being a good host? ›

No matter the type of party you're throwing, here are some things a host should consider, even before the party starts:
  • Invite clearly. ...
  • Plan well. ...
  • Be welcoming and attentive. ...
  • Be flexible and gracious. ...
  • Be the leader and the spark. ...
  • Be appreciative.

What should a good host be? ›

So here is what I do now:
  • Home cooked meals - I make sure to have good food for any meals we may have at home.
  • Related to food, if I know that a person likes to drink or eat something in particular, I purchase it. ...
  • Clean place to stay - The beds have clean sheets, with Kleenex and a glass of water on the night stand.
Oct 1, 2023

What is a good host person? ›

A great host is one who can connect to the audience. Great hosts don't make it about them but about their audience having a great experience. Great hosts put the audience before their ego.

What are the three G's of being a good host? ›

The three G's of being a great host are Greet, Guide, and Great. When hosting an event or gathering, it is important to warmly greet your guests to make them feel welcome. As a host, you should also guide your guests during the event, ensuring they know where things are and feel comfortable.

How to be a great host at home? ›

A reminder about how to host inside again
  1. Consider their favourite food and drink. ...
  2. Think about music in advance. ...
  3. Make sure you have a comfortable guest bed. ...
  4. Scent is important. ...
  5. Pay attention to small details. ...
  6. Offer reading material. ...
  7. Ensure your guests have all the toiletries they need.
May 14, 2021

How to be a perfect hostess? ›

How To Be The Best Hostess
  1. Ask for help. ...
  2. Give yourself 25% more time than you think you need. ...
  3. When in doubt: nice smells and good lighting! ...
  4. Invite a few VIPS. ...
  5. Use the 1:3 ratio for cooking. ...
  6. Fill the void. ...
  7. Set boundaries clearly. ...
  8. Invest in a good bottle opener.
Jun 4, 2014

How can I be a confident host? ›

Don't apologize for everything about your home or your cooking or your skills or, or, or…….. to your guests. A confident host is one that has done his/her best to create a warm atmosphere that will bring others together and make great memories and foster wonderful relationships. Now, THAT is impressive.

How to behave as a host? ›

12 Tips to Be a Wonderful Host towards Your Friends
  1. Clean your home before your friends come over.
  2. Extend a warm welcome.
  3. Give a brief house tour.
  4. Offer a drink.
  5. Serve crowd-pleasing snacks.
  6. Focus on your friends while they're visiting.
  7. Engage your guests in conversation.
  8. Suggest entertaining activities.

What kind of attitude do hosts need? ›

Personality traits of restaurant hosts and hostesses include friendliness, sociability, and communication skills. After all, they're greeting people at the front entrance. Find a cheerful person who loves people, and let him or her be the one to welcome your guests.

How can I be an interesting host? ›

Here are 10 things great party hosts do:
  1. They have fun. ...
  2. They don't force games. ...
  3. They embrace basic desserts. ...
  4. They keep the wine glasses full. ...
  5. They know lighting matters. ...
  6. They play fun music. ...
  7. They know when to tuck their kids in. ...
  8. They don't freak out if everything isn't perfect.

What is a gracious host? ›

A gracious host is someone who, when you go to their house, is welcoming and pleased to see you, who makes you feel that your presence in their home is appreciated and enjoyed. A gracious host might, for example, cook a nice dinner; find you a comfortable place to sleep; look after you while you are under their roof.

What is it called when you're a good host? ›

Hospitable - Definition, Meaning & Synonyms | Vocabulary.com.

What is the responsibility of a good host? ›

A Host or Hostess makes sure that their guests feel welcomed, cared for, and valued. They create a warm and welcoming environment for patrons from the moment they enter the establishment. Hosts or Hostesses typically provide menus, take names for reservations and answer the phone.

How to be a perfect host? ›

Well fear not, The Gentleman's Journal is on hand once again with 5 simple tips to ensure your dinner party is a raging hit.
  1. YOU – THE HOST, As host, you are the most important cog of the party wheel. ...
  2. THE GUEST LIST, Keep it simple. ...
  3. FOOD , Don't overwork yourself. ...
  4. WINE , Offer red and white. ...
  5. AMBIENCE , Dim the lights.

How to be a good host at an event? ›

How to host a successful event
  1. Determine what kind of event to host. ...
  2. Plan for guests, food and other services. ...
  3. Organize your event and book vendors. ...
  4. Promote the event to potential guests. ...
  5. Host the event and follow an agenda. ...
  6. Thank guests for attending and follow-up.
Oct 13, 2022

How would you describe a gracious host? ›

as in hospitable. showing a natural kindness and courtesy especially in social situations a gracious host who goes out of his way to make every guest feel welcome.

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