18 subtle signs your ex wants you back (and what to do next)  (2024)

Do you think your ex still has feelings for you and wants you back?

Are you having a difficult time reading their signals?

Throw into the mix of your own emotions, and the difficulty only increases.

Maybe you want your ex back so you interpret every move they make as a sign that they’re still in love with you?

Or, you’re in a cloud of despair and hurt after your breakup, and you can’t make sense of their words or actions?

Sometimes, seeing things from a neutral point of view can help you determine how your ex really feels, even if they’re trying their best to hide their true intentions.

So, whether you broke up recently or a while ago, there are some subtle (and more obvious) signals that your ex hasn’t got over you, and still wants you in their life.

In this article, I’ll explore 18 signs that they want to patch things up, and what your options are going forward. Let’s jump right in:

Signs your ex wants you back

1) They stay in touch

Does your ex still message you daily? Do they randomly call just to see how you are?

If so, it could be a sign that they miss you.

Generally, after a break, it’s a good idea to have a little space. But, if your ex seems to carry on being in contact with you daily, they haven’t taken any attempts to move on (and probably don’t want to).

2) You feel stuck in a rut

Do you feel like you’re stuck in a rut without being with your ex?

This might be because your ex is trying to get you back.

Let me explain:

I’ve been there, and I know how it feels.

When I was at my worst point in my relationship I reached out to a relationship coach to see if they could give me any answers or insights.

I expected some vague advice about cheering up or being strong.

But surprisingly I got very in-depth, specific and practical advice about addressing the problems in my relationship. This included real solutions to improving many things that my partner and I had been struggling with for years.

Relationship Hero is where I found this special coach who helped turn things around for me and helped me understand if my ex wanted me back.

Relationship Hero is an industry leader in relationship advice for a reason.

They provide solutions, not just talk.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice specific to your situation.

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3) They open up about their feelings

This is one of the more obvious signs, but if your ex starts opening up to you and wanting to discuss their feelings, they obviously still care and trust you with their vulnerabilities.

As well as sharing their emotions, they will probably be interested to know about you and your feelings, especially if they are longing to be back together with you.

4) They want to know about your dating life

Does your ex always seem to pop up when you start seeing someone new?

Do they constantly check to see whether you’re still single or not?

If they had truly moved on, your dating life wouldn’t be their concern. The fact that they’re so interested in it is because they want to know what their chances are, and what the competition looks like.

They might also be hanging around to be the shoulder to cry on when things fail in your new relationship. This is just another way to keep you emotionally involved with them.

5) They want you to know about their dating life

In reverse to the last point, does your ex want you to know their dating business? This is a sign that they want you back.

Usually, they do this to provoke a jealous reaction from you or to pretend that they’ve moved on (in the hopes that you’ll start missing them).

The telltale sign that your ex is doing it just to get a reaction out of you is if they have a rebound relationship straight away and flaunt their new relationship everywhere.

Someone who has moved on and is content without you wouldn’t feel the need to do that so soon after ending a relationship.

If your ex is doing this, especially if you had a very deep and meaningful relationship, know that it’s out of pain and longing for you.

They’re at the point where they’ll do anything to get your attention, even if that means dating other people.

6) What would a gifted advisor say?

Have you sought an outside opinion?

The signs I’m revealing in this article will give you a good idea about whether your ex wants you back.

But could you get even more clarity by speaking to a professionally gifted advisor?

Clearly, you have to find someone you can trust. With so many fake “experts” out there, it’s important to have a pretty good BS detector.

After going through a messy breakup, I recently tried Psychic Source. They provided me with the guidance I needed in life, including who I am meant to be with.

I was actually blown away by how kind, caring, and knowledgeable they were.

Click here to get your own love reading.

A genuinely gifted advisor can not only tell you about where things stand with your ex, but they can also reveal all your love possibilities.

7) They often reminisce on the ‘good old times’ with you

Does your ex constantly bring up fond memories of when you were both together?

We all reminisce about the happier moments of our past relationships, but most tend to do it alone, not with their ex.

By bringing up all those cute, love-filled memories, your ex is trying to remind you of how good you used to be together.

This is a clear sign that they miss those times and they want you to miss them too.

8) They follow your social media

Does your ex still follow you on social media? This is a clear sign they are still interested in you.

We live in the age of technology, and keeping track of what an ex is up to has never been easier. If they don’t want you back, your social media and life wouldn’t be of much importance to them.

But, if they follow you on every social media platform even after you’ve broken up, it could be a sign that they aren’t ready to move on and they want to keep your lives entwined.

9) They want to talk about the breakup

Talking about the breakup is normal – many people want some form of closure.

But, this conversation usually takes place once both people have had some space, and are ready to discuss what went wrong.

The key to knowing whether they want you back or not lies in how often they want to talk about the breakup.

If it’s quite regular, it could be that they can’t accept things are over and wish to work through whatever issues led you to split in the first place.

10) They try to make you jealous

If your ex is trying to make you jealous, you can be sure that they still have feelings for you.

Most people want to just move on with their life post-breakup, but if he or she is adamant on making you jealous, they are clearly testing you to see whether you still have feelings for them or not in return.

It means you are still on their mind and they still care about keeping you close and involved in their life.

11) They find random reasons to talk

Do you find your ex gets in touch to find out the most random things?

Getting in contact if you have valid reasons (like shared custody of kids, or unfinished financial business together) is fair enough, but sometimes an ex who wants you back will find any excuse to talk to you.

Either they miss your company, or they want you to miss them.

Either way, they’ll find the most mundane reasons to text or call. They ask friends in common about you

12) They won’t pick up their stuff from your place

Does your ex keep things at your place? It can be a clear sign that they are not over you.

Most people can’t wait to get their stuff back from an ex, especially if they’re eager to move on with life and put the relationship in the past.

But, if your ex keeps delaying picking up their stuff, or leaves more stuff their post break up, it could be that they’re not ready for things to be completely over.

Leaving something of theirs in your house means you have a constant reminder of them, and they have a reason to come back around or meet up with you.

13) They take the blame

Does your ex take responsibility for your breakup?

People are much more likely to take the blame for a breakup if they regret that the relationship has come to an end.

This gives them the opportunity to ‘correct’ their mistakes and show you that they’ve ‘matured’ and deserve another chance.

Are they just saying what you want to hear? Or have they truly reflected and acknowledged their role in the breakup?

Only you’ll know, but the fact that they’re taking responsibility (whether genuinely or not) shows that they want to be on good terms with you.

14) They can’t help but touch you

Does your ex still reach out and make physical contact with you? This can be a sign they still feel connected to you.

This could happen purely out of habit, but more likely than not, if they can’t keep their hands off you, they still have an attraction (and feelings) for you.

Maybe they brush your arm as you sit next to each other, or wipe a strand of hair from your face as you talk.

A lot can be said without using words, so you’ll have to trust your judgment on whether they touch you with affection or just out of habit.

15) They call you when they’re drunk

Does your ex drunk text you often? Take notice.

As the old saying goes ‘a drunk heart speaks a sober mind’. Alcohol lowers our inhibitions, and can often lead us to make decisions we wouldn’t have braved sober.

The classic drunk text or call can be a big indication that you’re still on your ex’s mind, even when they’re out having a good time.

And it makes sense. If you miss someone, you’d much rather be going home to them than home alone. T

hrow a few drinks into the equation and suddenly giving your ex a call seems like a fantastic idea (although they might not think so the morning after).

16) They’re still in contact with your friends and family

Friends and family can give a lot away, with the best of intentions. If your ex is still in touch with your loved ones, it could be that they want to keep updated on your life.

It could also be that they want to use your family and friends as a way to get information about them back to you. Or to increase the chances of bumping into you ‘unexpectedly’ (we’ve all seen the films).

You’ll know soon enough when your friends start mentioning that he/she has been asking about you.

17) They want to be friends

Being friends after a breakup can be done, but plenty of time and soul healing needs to happen beforehand.

And, it’s pretty much impossible to have a platonic friendship if one (or both) people still have romantic feelings.

If your ex wants to be friends straight after the breakup, they aren’t really allowing you or them the chance to move on.

This could be a clear sign that they aren’t ready to let you go, and that they want you in their life one way or another.

18) They’re everywhere you go

Does your ex mysteriously pop up wherever you go? It could be that they keep revisiting places they know you like, in the hope of seeing you.

Or, they are in touch with your friends or are following your social media trail

Showing up unexpectedly is a way to surprise you and remind you of their existence.

Maybe they hope to trigger happy memories that you once shared there, or they want to show you what you’re missing.

So, your ex wants you back — what now?

If some of the points above resonate with you and your ex’s behavior, and you’re certain they want you back, you have two clear options:

Option 1:

The first is to ignore these signals and continue moving on with your life if you have no interest in getting back together with them.

An ex becomes an ex for a reason, so you may be perfectly valid in feeling that you want to put the relationship behind you.

Psychology Today puts forward a good question to ask yourself before getting back into a relationship with your ex:

“Is this really the best use of your energy? There are so many things that you can do to take care of yourself. Is repeating a relationship the way to go? Only you know the answer to this question.”

Unless something has dramatically changed in you or your ex, what’s to say the relationship will be any different from how it was before?

Option 2:

Get him back for good.

Not all breakups need to be permanent. If you’ve already broken up, there are some situations where this can be reversed and you can get back with your ex.

True love is extremely hard to find and if you are still in love with them then your best option may be to get back together.

But how?

But that raises the question:

Are you truly ready to get back into a relationship? Or is there something else that needs your attention more strongly?

Have you ever asked yourself why your relationships often start out incredible, only to become a nightmare?

And what’s the solution to forming deeper bonds and a stronger sense of intimacy with someone else?

The answer is actually contained in the relationship you have with yourself.

I learned about this from the world-respected shaman Rudá Iandê. He taught me to see through the lies we tell ourselves about love and become truly empowered.

As Rudá explains in this mind-blowing free video, love is not what many of us think it is. In fact, many of us are actually self-sabotaging our love lives without realizing it!

We need to face the facts about why we wait around for our ex-lovers to come back to us. Are you feeling lonely? It’s normal. We all feel like that. And it’s easy to think that the answer rests in someone else.

Far too often we chase an idealized image of someone. We build up expectations that are guaranteed to be let down.

Far too often we think we’ve found the perfect person, only to end up in a miserable, bitter exchange.

Far too often, we are on shaky ground with own selves and this carries over into toxic relationships that become hell on earth.

Rudá’s teachings showed me a whole new approach to my desire to want my ex back.

While watching, I felt like someone understood my struggles to find love for the first time – and finally offered an actual, practical solutionto feeling a deep sense of love and empowerment.

If you’re done with emotional breakups, wanting someone to come back into your life to make you feel happy, and frustrating relationships that leave your hopes dashed over and over, then this is a message you need to hear.

Click here to watch the free video.

Whether or not you choose to reconnect with your ex, remember that you have an opportunity to reconnect with the most important person in your life – yourself.

So I hope you use this as an opportunity to step back and see who it is that wants this reunion so badly?

Take a moment and offer yourself some more love and inspiration to live a glorious and rich life.

Then, if your ex comes back in, it’s a welcomed addition to the love you already have and know.

Why not try a different approach this time?