10 Times It's Better NOT to Send Flowers (2024)

When it comes to gift-giving, a nice bouquet can seem like a no-fail solution for any occasion. But while flowers can brighten up a home, there are plenty of alternatives that will not only last longer but are also much more thoughtful than a dozen roses. We talked to etiquette expert Elaine Swann, author of Let Crazy Be Crazy, about the perfect (non-floral) gifts for every occasion.

A framed photo of the couple is a great idea because it "allows the couple to see themselves together through someone else's eyes and commemorates that one moment in time," says Swann.We take and share so many photos on social media but rarely print them out, so a printed picture is extra special now.

8 x 10" Beaded Silver-Plated Frame ($54, potterybarn.com)

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Sending a special delivery to a friend or family member’s office or home practically guarantees a happy birthday (hey, kids aren’t the only ones who love getting things in the mail!). Swann says you’ll get bonus points if you surprise them with something edible you know they’ll love, like a personalized cookie cake or, if they’re more of a health nut, a fruit arrangement.

Happy Birthday Cookie Cake($37.99, mrsfields.com)

For grads of all ages, you can't go wrong with a copy of Dr. Seuss' classic Oh, the Places You'll Go!, but Swann says to "make sure you inscribe a personal note, something that will inspire hope and possibility." For other exciting moments, a gift card that will "give them an adventure" is the way to go—think concert tickets, a museum membership, or movie passes.

Oh, the Places You'll Go! ($12, amazon.com)

"You want to give them either something that will bring them comfort or something to do while they're on the mend," says Swann. Her suggestions? A cozy throw, a Sudoku book, or a Rubik's cube ("They're so time-consuming!").

Wool & Cashmere Throw ($138.00, garnethill.com)

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A gift card to a home-improvement store is a no-fail option: When moving into a new living space, it's easy to forget little things like light bulbs and screws, so this type of gift can be a huge help. Alternatively, Swann suggests bringing the new homeowners a plant, which she says will "signify growth as they make this big life transition."

Spathiphyllum Sweet Pablo ($19.98, homedepot.com)

When you need to say you're sorry, the best option by far is a thoughtful note. "Get your best stationery out, and be specific," says Swann. The perfect apology includes the words "I'm sorry," clearly states what you did wrong, is hand-written and personal, and isn't overdone. "Less is more," says Swann.

Set of 8 Note Cards ($17.95, papersource.com)

Diapers and wipes are the way to goin this situation, says Swann. New parents can never have enough of these essentials, so you'll still be a hero. Make sure to include a congratulatory note, and if you're feeling extra ambitious, you canfashion them into a Pinterest-worthy "cake."

Huggies Newborn Diaper & Wipe Gift Set ($29.98, toysrus.com)

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It's always a safe bet to bring food to a grieving family, and there are plenty of services that will make and deliver mealsfor you if you don't live nearby. Just make sure to also send along abig bag of paper products, saysSwann. "There are lots of visitors coming through the house, and toilet paper, tissue, and paper towels will run out very quickly," she says. Paper plates and plastic utensils will give the preoccupied family a break from dish duty.

Three Days of Entrees($99.95, williams-sonoma.com)

Once again, you can't go wrong with a hand-written card. Swann's perfect thank-you note starts with "thank you," specifically names what the person gave you or did for you, and shares how their generosity affected your life or how you're going to use the gift. If you're showing gratitude to someone who'sdone a favor for you, Swann says "you should give them a nice break" in the form of movie tickets or a gift card to a smoothie place or coffee shop.

Regal Cinemas Gift Card ($10-100, corporateboxoffice.com)

A nice bottle of champagne or sparkling cider (if you're unsure of the couple's attitude toward alcohol) is a great way to say congratulations, says Swann. "Wrap it up in tulle or fabric tied off with a nice bowto make it look like a fancy, pretty gift."

Veuve Clicquot Vintage Brut ($99, wine.com)